This weekend, through some lucky circumstances (my daughter being a rockstar despite one half of her parents being a complete bittertastrophe), I got the chance to attend a Seattle Seahawks pre-season game, much to the chagrin of many people around me who are actual Seahawks fans. They are the most popular ticket around town (even … Continue reading The Keys to Bitter Miscommunication
comedy
Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
I've been told by television that if you exercise and eat right for like a year, you will lose half your body weight. Your life will "be transformed", everyone will "fake" like you, and you will "find the person of your dreams" and you will get the "promotion you've been striving for", you will get … Continue reading Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
A couple of days ago, I was watching the Bachelor's Paradise. These are people that have been on the Bachelor and "didn't win" in their particular cycle as if not getting engaged to the one girl or boy amongst all the contestants is losing. What we all know is that in the end is that they … Continue reading 10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
The Supermoon
I spent most of the day Saturday out in the middle of nowhere Washington, at a family reunion. It was at a Great Uncle or something's house that had a sprawling 10-15 acres (I have no idea how big acres are. Let's just say it was a big yard.) In the back, there was a … Continue reading The Supermoon
Forecasting Friday Bitter Giftures
I'm not good at a lot of things. I can't snowboard (at least that I know of), I keep my desk arranged in a way that allows important things to get lost, and I am certainly not good at smiling. They say that frowning uses way more muscles than smiling, but have you seen my … Continue reading Forecasting Friday Bitter Giftures
Living Down to Bitter Expectation Giftures
There has been a lot of talk in the NBA lately about legacy. Will Lebron and the Heat be able to win three Championships in a row and solidify his "legacy" as one of the greatest ever? Will Tim Duncan and the Spurs win one last one and retire as one of the best ever … Continue reading Living Down to Bitter Expectation Giftures
What’s the Bitter Idea?
Since I'm an introvert, (which means I only talk or listen to people when I feel like it), I have a lot of time for observation. I like to observe people because it gives me the opportunity to judge them and make wild assumptions about why I can't stand them. Of course, when people talk … Continue reading What’s the Bitter Idea?
Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
If there is something I lose more than my wallet(which of course I forgot or lost this morning), it is my memory. Every time I wake up in the morning I lose about every shred of a dream I might have had. Probably a good thing, considering how bitter my dreams probably are. Pretty much … Continue reading Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
I think my veins are filled with either honey or fear. Because of the warm weather (65 degrees!, just kidding 85) in the last two days, I have had to roll down the windows of my car. It seems like whenever I pull up to a stop, a member of the bee community has been … Continue reading Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
Bitterly Fresh Air
It was around 5:30 pm on Mother's Day and the kids were getting restless. By restless, I mean they were getting on our nerves. Somehow, the clouds and rain had decided to take the day off. Sunshine was penetrating every window in the house and it was getting stuffy inside. Mom needed to get … Continue reading Bitterly Fresh Air
Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Work is my all time favorite thing to be bitter about. Why you might ask? The thing you most want to complain about is the thing that you have to do the most. Also, if you ever want to talk about it, you have to be sneaky, like when you are at home and … Continue reading Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Some people (like you) have big goals, lofty ideals and save the world mentality. Some people just want to watch the world be bitter (me). Regardless of your goals and expectations, sometimes you fall short(or always you fall short. Uh hem me.) There is nothing bitterer than falling short of expectations. The worst thing of … Continue reading Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Bitter Problems
It's a perfect day outside. The sun is shining, traffic is light, birds are chirping, welcoming the season of spring gently. A hard month end is over, so work will be light, co-workers will be happy and customers in a good mood. Maybe I can even go outside for lunch, get a little sun and … Continue reading Bitter Problems
Bitterly Intense Friday Giftures
Things are getting all intense up in here. The NBA playoffs are finally here, crazy things are happening on Season Finale's all over television, and even WordPress is making some insane decisions. Probably about the time you read this, a post I did on my birthday entitled 41 Reasons to be Bitter will be … Continue reading Bitterly Intense Friday Giftures
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
I am in an undisclosed location that absolutely does not rhyme with DUtah, under strict orders by myself to not to do work, but the Mr. Work Enforcer (me) never said anything about blogging, even though it is a lot of work. I'm in an overground bunker that they call houses here, that has … Continue reading In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
As the internet's number 2(because who is more bitter than someone who is only second best) leading expert in Bitterness, I have not once been asked to give a lecture or speech on how it is done. When I figured out that people had absolutely no desire to learn the bitter trade, that is when … Continue reading The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Talk about boring and meta. Just when you thought this blog couldn't be any more boring, I decided to do an in case you missed it, about an in case you missed it that I missed doing last week. Confused and zoning out yet? Good. Now I can just remind myself of what I did … Continue reading In case you missed…In case you missed it from last week bitterness
Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
I don't know if it is the fact that daylight savings time happened this week, or that the fact that I have been asked to do work at my job this week, or that I just decided to not sleep this week, but I'm tired. The only tired I want to do is Retired. And … Continue reading Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
2 Years, and 300 posts of Bitterness
Back on March 8, 2012, I was pretty bitter. Just like every other day, but this day, I had enough of anonymously being bitter. I had complained one too many times about how hardcore my job sucked to my co-workers and so they called started calling me Bitter Ben. So on that day, I found … Continue reading 2 Years, and 300 posts of Bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 