Some people (like you) have big goals, lofty ideals and save the world mentality. Some people just want to watch the world be bitter (me). Regardless of your goals and expectations, sometimes you fall short(or always you fall short. Uh hem me.) There is nothing bitterer than falling short of expectations. The worst thing of all is competition. No matter how many people compete, there is only one winner. In other words, if you are an NBA team, 29 out of the 30 are losers and fell short. If you are running a marathon with 30,000 contestants, 29,999 are losers. They all fell short. To help us all wallow in our loserness, let us watch others fall short in their pursuit and almost winning and join us here in the loser’s circle.
And the game is within his grasp….
..but he falls…short of his goal.
Evan’s goal of flying to the moon…
…was as realistic as getting a date from the girl going down on the escalator.
Marcus’s goal of becoming a mattress….
…fell short when he forgot that you have to sit completely still.
Janet has a hard time…
…keeping her head in the game.
Simon was well on his way to becoming a world famous scientist….
…until he had a heart attack.
Bismack was elated about his winning high jump…
…until the announcer said he was in 7th place.
When it comes to the train wheel riding…
..Milo always came in second to Brutus.
Can you believe…
…this was only the second fastest bus that day? And the passengers were late for their appointments?
Todd was so close…
…yet not even close at all.
Time to celebrate….
…I jussst dropped the ball.
Tim was blowing up the place…
…until he blew up his plane.
So my demotivational speech for the week is this. Go out there and get second place. Or 5th or a millionth. I don’t care either way. Because if you don’t get first place, it doesn’t really matter if you get second or 100th. And being generally getting 100th place means you didn’t have to work as hard. Go low expectations!
ARRRRGGGGHHH
Bitter Falling Short Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 
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Aw, Janet! I feel ya. At school, my head was a ball magnet. If there was a game of cricket nearby, I was bound to have a concussion.
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You don’t want to hang out at the flag football convention we have every Saturday with my two kids. Errant footballs flying everywhere will bound to find your head.
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You posted this and you know I am a Bronco fan. I can’t believe it, Ben. It’s almost like you’re from… like, Seattle. Rub it in… go on… there’s always next year to make us bitter all over again. And can I just say… poor Janet… poor, poor Janet. If I was a sportscaster, that would so be me. Hubby is always telling me I’m bound to die in some weird way. Like tripping over my fuzzy slippers and drowning in the fishtank or watering the plants and somehow managing to sever my jugular with the nozzle. Poor Janet.
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I knew you were a Broncos fan? I certainly did not. But if I had, this would have made it so much better. I love rubbing lemon juice in people’s papercuts. It is what I do as a living and as a blog.
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Hahaha this post was so entertaining. The gifs and caption combos were very well done. Great work and writing (:
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Actually I feel kinda bad because really they are just a variation on what you do. I started out doing just a bitter picture with a caption, but then saw how you did it with you blog and pretty much stole your idea. So thanks for letting me steal it!
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This post made me feel better about my life. And surprisingly less bitter about it too.
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Wow, well that had the opposite effect. Perhaps I need to work harder on making you bitter.
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Ya..it’s like dropping out in the 10th grade. You might as well drop out in the 4th.
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You know, go through way more pain or cut your losses early. Sounds like early bailout is for me.
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I had no idea it was already Friday.
Hm.
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Well you miss need to get outside and get your bearings. Perhaps and see if it is light or dark outside too.
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Yeah, bearings are probably a good thing to have.
Unfortunately, I have trouble locating them for more than a little bit at a time. Then they disappear. Then I find them again. All that makes getting them again even worse.
(What are these things called bearings?)
Life gets a bit confusing when you wake up, it’s light out, then it’s dark out for most of the time you’re awake, then it gets light again. Even after all this time spent being (mostly and preferably) nocturnal, it still messes me up.
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Well just for your benefit, I’m going to let you know that tomorrow is Friday (though you may read this in a few weeks so never mind). I will go ahead and do a Gifture post tomorrow, so whenever you read one you will know that it is written on a Friday (though you may read it on another day).
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LoL, yay for me reading your posts more frequently now.
Thanks for the help though. I’m clearly a moron when it comes to days.
That sounds really sad…
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I’m so proud of you. You are doing so great at getting back to me. <> I just hope you don’t forget about me after you delve into shed writing zone. I know you’ve gotta get that book published, so just remember me when you come out of the tank. When you do resurface, I’ll let you know what day it is.
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AND THE PRIDE IS SQUASHED!
What day is it?
(Just joking. It’s Wednesday the 11th, but I had to check.)
XD
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No need to squash that pride. Like I tell you, going to the shed is priority over everything (including sleeping and eating) and knowing what day it is, is completely not necessary.
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Yeah, working tends to take priority over pretty much everything. When I’m really into a book (or series), I don’t take care of myself near as well as I should.
Not knowing what day it is really isn’t a big deal, for the most part.
It’s when you forget things that it starts to make you wonder.
Like your anniversary.
…
Guilty of that this year.
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Oops about the anniversary. I’m going to go ahead and guess that Tyler wasn’t too upset about it. Since it is usually the wife getting mad at the husband missing it, I’m sure he was pretty chill about it, considering I would have been the same way. Do you need me to send you a reminder next time?
I am aware of the day because it is important for me to remember not to go to work on Saturday or Sunday. Or to take the kids to Flag Football on Saturday and not Sunday.
🙂
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HAHA, He forgot about the anniversary as well. I’m not big on that sort of stuff anyway, but we usually go out to dinner. He was more upset about it than I was, I think. And I guess I’m weird for not getting super upset about it (or other things similar in nature).
As for sending a reminder, I’d like to think we wouldn’t miss it two years in a row… (But who knows?)
Yeah, I’m sure keeping a normal work schedule helps keep you aware of the date. With him doing online classes and me doing this, the days of the week are pretty much all the same (except different shows come on). Kind of looking forward to getting on a more set schedule again, but not looking forward to being diurnal.
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I’ve had some less than stellar anniversaries, and most of the time it is on the weekday so we go to dinner on the weekends anyways. Did you miss the whole weekend thing too? The funny part is that you probably remember when Aster’s birthday is and celebrate it.
What is funny is that I remember a lot of dates. Things like the anniversary of when I went on my mission, when the Spurs won championships, important stuff like that. Now I’ll probably remember Cinco di Mayo every year too. 🙂
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I honestly can’t remember if we ended up going out or anything for our anniversary (at a later date). A lot of things blur together for me. So tell me why I can remember ridiculous things from when I was in kindergarten. -_-
Definitely remember lots of random things that are of no importance to me now past being a memory I haven’t yet forgotten with all the others.
LoL, I couldn’t give you a date for Aster’s birthday. Set months are never stated anywhere in the books. I know when the months are (have to keep track to make sure timelines add up) at every point, but they’re never directly said. I know roundabout when her birthday is (within a few days). 🙂
That’s probably bad of me. (That wasn’t a happy smiley there, it was more an ‘oops’ one.)
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I think it is easy to remember stuff from your childhood, because there was so little going on when we were young. Being an adult clutters all of that and makes everything more complicated. Being an adult sucks. Maybe that is why I like having video games to make me feel young. That and the fact that my mind can disappear to another place when I’m playing.
You probably don’t need to know the birthday of Aster. Though it is good that you know within a few days of when she is born. I probably won’t be a factor in your books. Maybe they don’t even have birthday in your world.
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All that is very true. Being an adult really does suck sometimes.
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Tell me about it. I’m still pretty bitter that I turned 18, cause then I knew I had to do adult stuff.
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Hahaha I feel better about my life now LOL thank you!
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I’m either making people feel way better or way worse. You got lucky this time.
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Ahhh the Ravens/Broncos fail! haha the only good thing to happen to my Ravens in that whole game!
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Ah but if they won, you wouldn’t have anything to be bitter about. Being a sports fan means you get a broken heart and bad memories of times they should have won. I still have memories burned in my head of terrible moments that happened back in 1990.
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#4
Life is cruel, whether you’re cute and blonde or not. The guy standing next to her looks back to make sure another ball isn’t coming for him instead of checking to make sure she’s okay… hilarious!!
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Life is cruel even for someone like you? There is no chance for old bitter faced person like me.
I noticed that guy didn’t give a crap about his co-host. He probably assumes the medical staff will take care of her. He’s just making sure his precious face isn’t being messed with.
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Gosh…I remember that Bronco’s premature celebration all to well – Maybe next week your Friday Gif’s could grace us with a “Karma” theme & the first one could be the Raven’s picking up that ball and running it back 80 yards for a touchdown.
Additionally, I believe Milo…riding on the train wheel – is a Viking’s fan. Look at his face.
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Karma is a great idea. Now I will have to be up to the challenge of finding just the right gifs for them.
That is definitely a Vikings fan. He is spinning his wheels and going nowhere.
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Nice. That’s one bitter Friday.
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I’m bitter every Friday. Also every other day. Especially Tuesday.
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I think the only thing that could make me jump as high at that guy did would be to get to the front of the line at the bakery.
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For me it would be pizza and really I couldn’t even jump 2 inches off the ground, even for pizza.
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Am feeling better already!
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Shoot! You are supposed to be feeling bitter already.
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Haha! 🙂
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