Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures

I think my veins are filled with either honey or fear.  Because of the warm weather (65 degrees!, just kidding 85) in the last two days, I have had to roll down the windows of my car.  It seems like whenever I pull up to a stop, a member of the bee community has been stalking me, to the point that they are flying to get in my car to show their psychotic tendencies by planting a stinger in my arm, thus making it really hard to text and ignore the road, while having to deal with a huge bee sting. Yeah, bees are irritating.  Today I’m going to demonstrate other irritating things by way of  Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures.

 

 Do you want to know what really irritates me?

...when you hit a home run that ruins your home.

When you hit a home run that ruins your home.

 

Another thing that irritates me?

Trees.  Trees are jerks.

Trees. Trees are jerks.

 

This guy had one thing to do…

Couldn't even bring us our morning drinks without spilling.

Couldn’t even bring us our morning drinks without spilling.

 

Doesn’t it just get under your skin…

when people take cuts?

when people try to rope you in?

 

Doesn’t it make you mad when….

when the best player is always on the other team?

…the best player is always on the other team?

Drive you crazy…

...or

…when someone is so ancient they don’t know when to retire…

 

Don’t you hate it…

when someone wakes you up from a nap when you aren't quite ready to wake up?

when someone wakes you up from a nap when you aren’t quite ready to wake up?

 

Or when someone is always…

when

…dancing around the issues? Forcing you to do things?

 

Don’t you get sick of…

the catastrophies all around you?

…hearing about all the flying catastrophies?

 

Doesn’t it just irritate you…

sdfd

…when people just won’t…

 

Doesn’t it drive you batty…

...turns up their music a little too loudly in the cubicle next to you?

…when someone turns up their music a little too loud in the cubicle next to you?

 

It’s the worst when you are late for breakfast…

 

...

…and have to milk every last second…

 

I’m sure there are other things that irritate me, like when your pizza is late, or work is required on a Friday or a Monday-Thursday, but I just don’t have the time to explain.  I’m too bitter and too irritated.  So bye.

ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Little Irritations Ben

 

 

 

 

 

 

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73 thoughts on “Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures

  1. Pingback: Writing Process Blog Tour | Properly Ridiculous

  2. Pingback: In case you missed it…because you were busy getting season finalied | Ben's Bitter Blog

  3. Hey that was fun – bitter is better!
    I was getting a bit bitter because my computer was not playing nice and I was going to throw it out the window, but I didn’t want to hit the little bird. It’s better now and I’ve returned to my happy place. Great Post!
    AnnMarie

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    • Computers can be a huge source of bitterism. I find their lack of making me dinner to be kind of maddening considering what I pay for them. Besides, they only last 2 years and by then they are four generations too old.

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      • Isn’t that the absolute truth! You’re are not only bitter – you’re brilliant too. I have a MacBook Pro and I can’t believe how much it has gone down in value.
        I heard Bill Gates is in his way to being classified as a super ‘trillionaire’ or billionaire extraordinaire… (though he does donate quite a bit)
        AnnMarie

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  4. LMAO- either you are in SD or a padres fan. poor poor kitty. trees are not jerks. watched the firework guy over and over. wish more videos were this short. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUP

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      • reminds me of something funny. i was at san diego zoo with a baseball cap on that said SD. a tourist came up to me and said “oh, your from south dakota?” after a strange look-from me, i said no, san diego. the lady started laughing and said, oh of course. LOL

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  5. Ben — the elephant basketball thing — I’d do that for a moon pie. At least the elephant isn’t sitting on someone’s chest.

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        • Is there something wrong with ‘dad jokes’?

          I’m weird about holidays. I usually just get people cards, but I actually go through pretty much every card to find THE RIGHT ONE. We’ll probably have dinner together today.

          Hope you have a great Father’s Day with your family. (I know I’ve already texted you that, but still.)

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        • I always made fun of my dad’s ‘Dad Jokes’, so it is tradition that my kids make fun of mine. Right now they think I’m pretty cool, but pretty soon they will be teenagers and think I’m the biggest dork and make fun of me and my terrible jokes. Just comes with the dad territory.
          I’ve never been a great gift giver either. Our family has been on the card route for a while. If I ever see anything that I think would be an awesome gift for someone, (like those Tardis socks for you), but for the most part I just give them a card. Even Christmas and birthdays are hard. As far as it goes for gifts for me, I’m totally okay with gift cards, video games or pizza (or cake). I’m pretty easy to buy for.
          Thanks. Like you know I had an awesome Father’s Day because the Spurs won. Still trying to pick out my Spurs gear.

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        • My dad has the best jokes. Probably because he almost never speaks, then makes some smarta** comment out of nowhere. I only make fun of his jokes sometimes. Most of the time they’re just hilarious.
          Maybe your kids won’t make fun of you when they’re teenagers. I know most kids get all, ‘ewww, parents, go AWAY,’ but I was never like that with mine. *shrug*
          I will hope that they continue to think you’re cool. Because you ARE cool.

          Yeah, I’m not so great at the gifts. I always put too much thought into it and want to get people things they MUST HAVE, but . . . most people just want money anyway, you know?
          I feel weird when I get gifts. I don’t know what it is, but just weird. Maybe it’s the thought of someone thinking about me? I’d say most people don’t really think so much about it.
          I got like four Starbucks gift cards this past Christmas, and I was happy about that. And fuzzy socks. I typically love getting socks. THAT is easy to buy for. Gift cards and socks. O.o

          I know you mentioned your Spurs gear in another comment. Did you finally get it picked out? Have you gotten it yet?

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        • My dad’s jokes were the cheesiest. It was my job as his son to give him a sense of humor and as he has gotten older he has mellowed. I’m pretty proud of him for getting more humorous.
          It’s pretty awesome that your dad’s jokes are great. It’s even better when stuff comes out unexpected that crack you up. I just love when you start laughing and you can’t stop. My buddy at work in IT and I were cracking jokes about redneck teeth and we couldn’t stop laughing. It was fun and I had such a better day afterwards.

          I have worked hard to make sure my kids think I’m cool and so far so good. I just hope that things don’t change when the become teens. I’m bracing for that.

          I totally agree with you on the gift thing. At our gift exchange every year at work, I always suggest for myself gift card for pizza, Itunes card or money. Why do we even have to pretend to get stuff they might want over the 100% guarantee of money. Most people just know what they want and money gets that more than anything. Oh well. And socks? Great gift. As long as they fit. I even wrote a post about socks and their key to my bitterness (when they don’t fit) and happiness when they don’t get wet.
          I finally got my Spurs gear picked out. I ordered two shirts and the video and I just found out today that the two shirts shipped. I should be seeing them early next week. And of course the bluray will be sent as soon as they finish it. It usually takes a month to get it done.

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        • I was going to say, ‘Watch it with the redneck stuff!’ But despite being from Kentucky and admittedly being ‘southern’ in some ways…I don’t really relate to ‘redneck’.
          (Yes, we do have shoes here. And no, not everybody has bad teeth.)
          lol

          I will keep my fingers crossed for your kids to continue thinking you’re awesome. 🙂

          How are you liking your Spurs gear?!

          Totally random, but just wondering . . .
          Do I have the most comments on your blog (apart from you)? Because you definitely have the most on mine (apart from me).
          I’ll be honest, you have (literally) three times what the next person has in number of comments on mine. O.o

          I guess we’re friends? HAHA
          BF!

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        • You’re no redneck, even if you are from Kentucky! You are awesome though, no matter where you are from. Besides, how can I make fun of the rednecks in Kentucky, when I am a hick farmer from South Dakota? And yes we have towns here. I can’t talk about bad teeth either. If it wasn’t for braces I would look like one of those rednecks that have really bad teeth.
          I think I have a good chance of them still liking me. But it will be determined soon. My daughter is 10 now, so it won’t be long before we know for sure.
          I am not so impressed with my Spurs gear. So far I only have one shirt. I got two but one of them was too small so I had to send it to my dad. There is a severe lack of them in my size. That makes me a little bitter. And here I am over a month later and I still don’t have my Spurs BluRay video. It’s hard being a fan of the most underappreciated 5 time champion in history. It’s so hard to get gear. Oh well.

          You are definitely my favorite commenter. Who else besides you could look beyond the bitterness and actually find something in me worthy of being a friend. I’ll always be thankful to you for that, regardless. How could I not comment on all your stuff? I love hearing about what is going on with your life.
          We are definitely friends, that is fo sure. HAHA
          BF!

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        • Haha, yeah I’m really not a redneck. You’ll probably get to hear how not-Southern I sound soon.

          I definitely understand you being bitter about the lack of Spurs gear in your size. What’s up with that? It’s stupid.

          Erm. How do you still not have the Blu-ray? Did it come in this past week?

          If everybody can’t find something worthy in you of being a friend, something is wrong. Because you’re seriously awesome.

          BF, fer shur. XD

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        • I know you aren’t a redneck, I just like to make fun of people that are my friends. If I don’t make fun of you (especially to your face) then you can pretty much tell I don’t like you. I know, I’m weird that way.
          I’m still struggling with the Spurs stuff. I swear, I’m going to find a red eye flight down to SA and just shop the entire city scouring it for the best Spurs stuff in my size. On the plus side, I did finally get my Spurs DVD. It was pretty awesome. I can’t wait to watch it over and over.
          You are pretty nice to say that, but on the surface most people don’t get me and to be honest that is alright with me. There are just so many people that I just couldn’t stand to friends with anyways. People with little depth just annoy me.

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        • Might be debatable after the crawdad thing. Then again, I don’t like getting dirty so that prevented me from trying to dig them up with Husband. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, and all the things living in pond dirt? No thank you.
          Then it was all the bug bites (they swarm me, all the time), and getting a clear reminder as to why I prefer the indoors.

          Could you seriously not find any Spurs stuff in your size online?
          How was the DVD?

          People with little depth annoy me too. But . . . that’s the world for ya.
          (Double BITTER MUCH?!)

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  6. Roll down the windows? We had the air conditioner on at the beginning of the week, and now the heat is back on, and I wore gloves today. GLOVES IN MAY. It doesn’t get much more bitter than that.

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  7. Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Fridays because of you Bitter Ben. Thank you for the giggles.. and making my coworkers think I’m even crazier than usual 🙂

    Like

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