It's Frickin Friday and I don't care. I don't care about work, or science or what I cram down my pie hole. And by that I mean Pizza. I'm gonna slap some tomato sauce or paste or whatever on some crust, lots and lots of cheese, whatever kind, and pepperoni, put it in an oven, … Continue reading It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
comedy
My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
As you may know, I was recently preparing my speech for my nomination to get into the Bitter Hall of Fame. Though I was nominated, I didn't get in. As per normal, I got within in one vote of getting in and I blame the people who don't follow my blog. To say I am bitter about it is an … Continue reading My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
In case you missed it…because you were watching some award losing movies
Welcome to the off orange colored carpet, where we welcome all the really bad stars of really bad movies. As you know almost every single person either nominated or not nominated loses, so let us really focus on how much a bunch of losers we all really are. To do so, let's rehash old(all … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were watching some award losing movies
Winning the Complaining Game
Some people think that America's pastime is baseball, lacrosse, or barbequing on the Fourth of July. Sure, those things are all pretty American, but those things on occupy our time when we have leisure time. I don't know about you, but I spend most of my time at work dreaming about leisure time, that other things … Continue reading Winning the Complaining Game
In case you missed it…because you were reading the comics
Back in the old days, when I was just a little bitter chump, one of my lazy Sunday afternoon activities was reading this thing called a newspaper, which was printed on paper. Besides making a horrible mess on your hands, it was also the punchline of a really horrible joke. Which reminds me. What's black … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were reading the comics
The Pressures of Fitting Out
I know you've all been suffering through the really cold cold out there, for which you should be really bitter, but not near as much as me. This guy right here, with the two thumbs pointing up at him, had to go outside yesterday and start my car early. Then I had to use the scraper thing to get a thin … Continue reading The Pressures of Fitting Out
Clock Bitterness
I am a busy person. I have many duties to avoid at work, and when I come home a television that has all this programming that needs my attention. In between, I have a phone has all these apps that constantly need updating with Tweets(last one 4 days ago), Facebook likes(don't really like anything about … Continue reading Clock Bitterness
Bitter Picture of the Week
As any long time follower of this blog would know, I don't love math very much at all. It is too exact and sensical. It makes the universe what it is and it is too hard. I get that 1+1 is three and all that, but after that it get all kinds of non sensey … Continue reading Bitter Picture of the Week
100th blog post bitterness
It all started out with a dream. It was a bitter dream, but nonetheless a good bitter dream. I wanted to show that everywhere you look, everywhere you are, everyone you know, there is something bitter to be about. I know I have just scratched the surface of the bitterness in this world, but I … Continue reading 100th blog post bitterness
Evil Genius Bitterness
As an evil genius who is also bitter I am always looking for minions, but lately I haven't been able to find the quality of minnions that is required to do all my work while I laugh maniacally. My old channels of finding minnions just isn't working out so I decided to try the old … Continue reading Evil Genius Bitterness
How to waste your entire life Bitterness
If there is something that I am good at besides being bitter about something all the time, it is being lazy. I'm not as good as I used to be, but I have lots of experience. Someone that is probably smart once said "Write what you know." So of course, I write this blog … Continue reading How to waste your entire life Bitterness
Money Bitterness
When I was but a young budding bitterling in elementary school, I learned about this thing called money. Back then it was just a bunch of semi-silver, copper and green paper. A teacher probably told me that it had a value of some sort and then I probably shrugged and moved on to trading baseball … Continue reading Money Bitterness
Medical Science Bitterness
Not long ago, (last week in fact) I did a post about it being cold out and how when it is cold out, it makes us do crazy things, like sit indoors with other people. For this reason, germs of one person seem to be in the same room as other people and sometimes those … Continue reading Medical Science Bitterness
Bitter thought of the week
You want to know what makes me so bitter? When it is raining down so hard that there are huge puddles on the street next to the sidewalk. I am just about to go medievel on one when I see a person walking on the sidewalk and it makes me hesitate...before I drench them.
Bitterest Place on Earth – Universal Studios – Part 6 The end
The last of an epic 6 part Universal/Disney Bitterness Series. As long as this is to read, you will want to stick around until the the very end. Remember when you were young and, after toiling for 9 long months in the slammer (school) you were able to experience the first day of summer? You … Continue reading Bitterest Place on Earth – Universal Studios – Part 6 The end
The Bitterest Place on Earth – Part 3 Epcot Edition
Each of the four Disney Parks have a symbol of the park, essentially not only the theme of the park, but also the center of the park. Magic Kingdom is of course the princess castle, Animal Kingdom is a big tree (yes, a tree), Disney Studios(which we will talk about later) is the Magic Hat that Mickey wears in … Continue reading The Bitterest Place on Earth – Part 3 Epcot Edition
The bitterest place on earth – Animal Kingdom Edition – Part 2
I am okay with paying money for things that are such a great experience that I couldn't recreate them in my backyard or somewhere near home or do for free somewhere. For instance, I'm pretty sure I couldn't build a rollercoaster in my backyard, or visit one for free somewhere. So, I will pay for tickets to go to an … Continue reading The bitterest place on earth – Animal Kingdom Edition – Part 2
The bitterest place on earth – The Magic Kingdom Edition – Part 1
Homer had his Odessy, Neo had his Matrix, Marty McFly had his Back to the Future adventure, I have had had my Disney excursion. Each of them learned something. I don't know what Homer learned because that was a long time ago and I forgot. Neo learned that the only way to change the Matrix … Continue reading The bitterest place on earth – The Magic Kingdom Edition – Part 1
Mirror Bitterness
Mirror Mirror on the wall, Who is the bitterest of them all? This guy! They say that the mirror is the gateway or doorway or window to the soul. And by they, I mean you know that guy or girl that said it once. Actually, maybe it is the eyes that are the window. Close enough. Anyways, … Continue reading Mirror Bitterness
Kid Show Parent bitterness
As a lazy person trapped in an efficient world, I have always appreciated the media for it's ability to make me look like I care about stuff while just sitting and staring at things. For instance, I have this computer that I sit at and if I just get this focused look on my face, type … Continue reading Kid Show Parent bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 