It all started out with a dream. It was a bitter dream, but nonetheless a good bitter dream. I wanted to show that everywhere you look, everywhere you are, everyone you know, there is something bitter to be about. I know I have just scratched the surface of the bitterness in this world, but I am determined. For no one’s sake, I will continue this fight until dare I say it, the Bitter End. I want to prove to everyone that bitterness isn’t just for the big things, but for the little things that can get easily overlooked. It easy to be bitter about pain, death, destruction traffic and cats. But there are a lot of overlooked things in the world that no one cares about including me, but I will find new and interesting way to be bitter. Because every little thing deserve their 15 minutes of bitterness. As you can see from the small 100 above, this is my 100th Bitter Blog Post and I wanted to make it special, just like when television shows get their best effort on their 100th episode. Also, just like after the 100th episode, this blog will go downhill, because effort. Here’s a tribute to all those that helped make this blog below average.
I have decided that just like Lady Gaga, I have some people that follow my blog on a semi-annual basis and they should get their own title for being brave enough to follow me. So Hello there Bitterlings. I know this will not catch on, so you are free to be a bitterling for the rest of this post then never think about it again. Unless you want to. In fact, you can even be bitter about it if you want. Because I’m bitter about freedom too.
To all my critics out there, (all 7 billion of you that don’t read my blog) I will not quit being bitter. If I can inspire just one more bitter person to be free to express themselves in a bitter way, I will write at least 1 or 2 more blog posts(Let’s not get too crazy. These things require a lot of work). But I will continue to dig to uncover bitterness in every last thing and when I have found all of them, I will dig some more(not dirt, that is way too much work.)
To my loyal audience of 12, I want to thank you for sending me your feedback and hitting the Like button, because that is really hard. And for all those that I follow, why aren’t you following me back? Do you want me to post something about you? Do you really want to go down that road?
To all you famous people, PR people, book publishers, blog money senders, why haven’t you read my blog, thought it was hilarious, told your agent, called me on the phone, offered me money and told me to move to South Dakota right away to write your next Hollywood box office bomb? I mean if it is going to bomb, you might as well have someone that has never done it before. I can write a movie that would bomb. Would it make any difference in the credits who wrote it? Just pay me twice what a normal writer would get and I will take credit for the disaster and even write your next bomb. As I said I only require twice the amount of a good writer.
To all my bitter competitors, don’t come at me or you will be stomped. I’m John Mclane and you are a Gruber. I am LeBron James and you are the hoop. I bitter 8 days a week 25 hours a day. I am the Bitter King and you are my subject (Oh my gosh, sorry I guess I’ve been watching Epic Rap Battles of History too much). I’m not good at a lot of things, but bitter I do better.
For those who have enjoyed the first 100 posts(or at least one of them), thanks for your support. I mean it from the bottom of my bitter heart. Prepare to board the Bitter Train to Bitter Town where there is a roller coaster called the Bitter Cyclone. You sensing a theme here? If not, exit at the rear of the train and go on enjoying your “happy” life.
Here are a 100 reasons why you should read my blog.