How to waste your entire life Bitterness

Cross my heart and hope to die, I did not photoshop this in any way(Microsoft Paint, dude.  Come on!)

Cross my heart and hope to die, I did not photoshop this in any way(Microsoft Paint, dude. Come on! Like I know how to use Photoshop?)

 

If there is something that I am good at besides being bitter about something all the time, it is being lazy.   I’m not as good as I used to be, but I have lots of experience.  Someone that is probably smart once said “Write what you know.”  So of course, I write this blog about something that I know about.  But in order to bring in money so I don’t have to get off the couch, I have decided to write a book.  And by write a book I mean steal this picture from the internet and scratch out the name of the person who actually wrote this book and superimpose my name over the name of the person that came up with the idea.

Don’t worry though, because someone smart also said that there are only about seven different stories ever created and the rest are just variations of those.  So, by me taking this cover and superimposing my name on it, I am just doing my “variation” of this story.  So boom! Take that, whoever my critics are!

And besides, I will write this book someday, and it will be while on my couch after I take a nap after going through a strenuous several hours of video games.  I will email this to some editor that will reject it.  And I continue to waste my life complaining about things that will never change.  And that will make me bitter and I will post about it.  And then take a nap.

 

Arrrghhh

Bitter Ben “the Author”

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24 thoughts on “How to waste your entire life Bitterness

  1. Don’t forget all the time you’re going to waste preparing book proposals and mailing them off to literary agents and publishers, half of whom won’t even bother to reply even though you’ve provided the self-addressed stamp envelopes.
    Or am I sounding bitter? Oh, Ben …

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  2. Being more optimistic than you (but not much more energetic) I have decided to start a publishing company for people who are thinking of writing a book. They can send me a submission fee for their idea and I will send them a professional looking rejection slip telling them that their idea is not quiet ready for publication but keep thinking of ideas and sending them for submission- along with the small fee.

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  3. You’re delightful! I came by your blog after you “liked” mine and I was intrigued by your avatar. And I love your variation on the theme of bitterness in each blog post. Cracks me up. Wishing you all the best. In these times, we need people who will make us laugh because there is so much to cry about. Cheers!

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    • Either way it is a sucess because if it doesn’t sell then that means people aren’t buying the book because they are lazy and they are doing as I instructed and that gives me more power. If it does sell then, yeah money.

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