I was reading a comic the other day about a girl that was struck by lightning and given super powers. When first given those powers, she decided that she would use them for doing good. She would rescue stray dogs, fight bad guys and punch a hole in injustice. She ended up doing none of … Continue reading If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?
Laziness
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts
For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn't seem to be going away. It's like one of long lost college buddies that stop's by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two...or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts
Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures
There has been a lot of sledding going on around here, what with there being snow on all surfaces lately. I've heard that some people actually get to sled downhill, which sounds super easy and fun. I wish I knew how that worked, because everywhere I've ever sledded has been an uphill both ways … Continue reading Sledding Uphill Both Way Bitter Friday Giftures
Me and Walter Elias Disney actually have something in common
As you may not know, or care, I am in the bitter throes of anguish as I recently completed my short bit of schooling and am now searching for a job. Just so you know, in case you've never had this trouble, the only thing worse than having a job, is not having a … Continue reading Me and Walter Elias Disney actually have something in common
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand
Sometimes having hands is a good thing, because they come in handy (pun very much intended), but most of the time they are burden. When you have them, people expect you to do things with them like help. My mother all growing up would say things like, "You have two hands, you can get them … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand
Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures
Nope. I know what you are thinking. This has nothing to do with Viley Mirus. I'm talking about those big balls of forged steel that take down brick structures faster than a pig can run all the way home. I have one of those and he can ruin a house faster than a greased … Continue reading Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets
The transportation industry is a 7.4 trillion dollar a year (according to Wikipedia in 2014, a reliable source if I've ever found one) industry with trains, planes, automobiles and duck bus getting us from point A to point B and across maps, and locations safely all day and all night 24 hours a day, 7 … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets
Gifsketball
When I was grew up I was a natural athlete. I could run like a slug, jump like a turtle, and watch sports on TV like a full grown man. Because I was tall(ish), I was forced to be athletic in basketball. I kind of hated it in seventh grade, mostly because all the … Continue reading Gifsketball
Drive Thru disasters
When we left Seattle, I knew there would be some things I would miss, like my co-workers (because my aim is pretty bad). I also knew there were also some things I would glad to leave in my rear view. The constant rain, the insane amount of green, gray and trees, and the location of … Continue reading Drive Thru disasters
H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo
I don't like being told what to do. Most of the time I do it anyways, but I don't like it. This is why Top 40 music has always made me bitter. Even growing up, I couldn't stand it. Not only was it repetitive, but these songs were basically chosen by some music producer … Continue reading H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo
My Reverse Cocoon Christmas
I'm going to go ahead and go off script a little for this time of year. I'm not going to talk about my resolutions or how I'm going to improve myself. We all know, I never do that anyways. What I am going to do is go ahead and tell you all about what I … Continue reading My Reverse Cocoon Christmas
Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures
For bitter's sake it has been a long time. At least in blogging days. It's been an actual week since I've done anything on this sad pathetic blog. I know I've got at least one idea for a post, but I'm not going to break the long standing tradition of doing Friday Giftures, just … Continue reading Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures
The Dark Side of Bitter Friday Giftures
As you all know, the first day of Winter was a few days ago and you know what that means. Darkness. More and more hours of darkness. In my opinion, daytime is super overrated. People can clearly see what you are doing, activities happen during the day, work and driving are more common, and … Continue reading The Dark Side of Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Inanimation Objects
I don't really like people telling me what to do. Kind of a freak about that, but it started early in the old Bitter Man's life. My mom told me to come out in March, but I was not having it and decided that I was going to chill a little longer in the warmth. … Continue reading Bitter Inanimation Objects
Bitter Memes from a Bunch of Weirdo’s (Yeah, you people)
A couple of weeks ago, or a week ago, (I don't remember. Do I look like I'm good at the passage of time?), I put a call out to all the people who follow this blog and told them to make memes for me or something. And the response was so underwhelming. I mean … Continue reading Bitter Memes from a Bunch of Weirdo’s (Yeah, you people)
Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures
You can't call it a comeback, because I've been here for years. - L.L. Not so Cool J Ben Remember when that song was a thing? Now that I am done with school and haven't received my first $1,000,000 offer to change people's lives for the worse, I've got a whole lot of time on … Continue reading Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures
Bitter Good Byes
Here's a depressing fact for you: Today may be the last time you ever see someone. Think about that bitterly for a second. Whether it is someone dying, or you saw someone at a Black Friday sale for the first and last time, every single day is potentially the last day you ever see someone. … Continue reading Bitter Good Byes
It is Snow Cold
For those of you who don't know anything about me, I grew up in South Dakota. If you've never heard of it, it is South of North Dakota, which is different than North Carolina. It is located in the middle of the country and has less people in the whole state than most minor cities. … Continue reading It is Snow Cold
Bears Beets Bitterstar Galactica
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujg0CnjgE9Q Thanks to the classic Office prank that Jim played on Dwight, we know that the algebraic equation Bears >Bitterstar Galactica is true. Not that I know anything about Batterstar Galactica, or math but I do know that bears rule. You might think that bears are kind of scary, and you might be right, about … Continue reading Bears Beets Bitterstar Galactica
Jingle Bells to the Wall Friday Giftures
I've been hearing a lot of bells ringing a lot lately. I don't know if it's the ringing in my ears or if it is Grinch stalking us on the roof waiting to steal all my stuff as soon as we leave the house, but it sure is making it hard for me to … Continue reading Jingle Bells to the Wall Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 