H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo

 

I don’t like being told what to do. Most of the time I do it anyways, but I don’t like it. This is why Top 40 music has always made me bitter. Even growing up, I couldn’t stand it. Not only was it repetitive, but these songs were basically chosen by some music producer in LA that determined what song we were going to listen to 4 times an hour for the next 4 months. When we moved here, I thought I was doomed to have to listen to this terrible music forever. Growing up, I listened to rap because it was such a new and unique sound. Nowadays, it’s filled with Kanye’s, Drake’s, Lil John’s and Waka Flocka Flames. Uhh…possibly why I can’t get into it these days. But then I discovered a station that plays the OLD school rap. The good stuff I used to listen to. Finally a station that doesn’t make me want to barf.  Until I start hearing the rap oldies over and over again…

Let’s kick these gifs into high gear…

...let's kick this into gear.

…and try to make a splash. 

Jump around…jump around…

...

…jump up jump up and dunk it down…

Just don’t try to strike…

...

…up a conversation with this guy, cause he can be such a bowl-y. 

And whatever you do…

...

…don’t join this arm-y guy named Leg-olous.

This young girl named Cally C. Yum…

...

…tried to milk it, but ended up having a cow. 

The roof was on fire…

...

…and for some reason this guy was kind of jumpy. 

This guy was plenty helpful…

...

…until he found out that the guy that fell stole his XBox…

Ahh the classic…

...

…pull the chair out from under someone, then put it back and look like a hero prank. 

Ready…

...

…set…snow…

See how hard it is…

...

…to do desk work?

Robots deliver…

...

…the best customer service right?

May the crossing guard’s…

...

…force be with you. 

Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years. H to the IZZO, V to the IZZA. Brass Monkey, that Funky Monkey. Sounds like a rap to me.

ARRRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Rap Battle Ben

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26 thoughts on “H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo

  1. First of all, Ben. Let’s take out the person that invented auto tune. Face it, you can’t sing. You need to stop & go back to work at McDonalds or Walmart. Now, that last gif. Who has the time to practice those sweet Jedi moves? Someone who lives in Mom’s basement, that’s who. The very first gif with the roo…I want to borrow him or her. They could be very useful when shopping for groceries & someone is hogging the aisle. Happy Friday, Bitter Ben.

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  2. I don’t know…something about that knife-wielding robotic thingy is disturbing. How can a person be sure it’s not planning to use that knife to cause one’s unfortunate bloody demise, rather than merely spreading peanut butter on bread? Convenience in lieu of safety? Maybe not such a hot idea. 😛

    Like

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