For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn’t seem to be going away. It’s like one of long lost college buddies that stop’s by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two…or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before you decide to sneakily move all your stuff into a big truck and move to a different state without him noticing. Other than staying inside all winter, (which would be nice if not for the need of pizza, I mean food), there is really a couple of ways to combat the cold. That’s right, sweat. And by sweat, I mean Sweat..ers or Sweat..shirts.
But which one is better. Which is the king of the winter? Which one fits you like an outdoor blanket better?
Open to scorn. Which is why I like them.
First up is the Sweater. Sweater’s are considered the more fancy and formal sweat. Sweater’s also come in all kinds of flavors. There is the itchy wool sweater, that while is more acceptable at parties, itches. There is the cashmere sweater which is less itchy, and more for the people that like fancy things and words, but also less warm. Then there is the sweater dress, which can pass for not only a cover of the top half, but also the bottom half. Convenient yes, but fashionable, I don’t know. Do I look like a fashion expert to you? And generally only available for women. Then there is the sweater vest. Usually comes in the Argyle pattern and without sleeves, so you have to wear something below them. And they are sometimes the considered an object or scorn. Which is why I like wearing them.
The bitter rival of sweater is the sweatshirt. They are considered the less formal and less fancy, but also more comfortable. Often they are warn for actually sweating like when you go outside to jog (which is something I’ve read about and seen on TV, but never done of course) or around the house (when the heater or blankets aren’t enough to combat the cold) and when needing something to spill drinks or pizza on. They can be worn to parties by less fancy people, but party goers prefer the sweater or tuxedo’s. Sweatshirts do come in a variety of flavors too. There are the ones the pull over your head or the ones that have zippers. The zippered ones are usually fun for when you want to get something stuck in them for maximum pain, or when you want to perform maximum work for putting clothes on. There is also the ones you pull over your head for being blinded for a minute until you can figure out where your head goes in relation to the hole. Then there is the hooded sweatshirt for those people that just like ignoring wearing a hood, or those people that do like wearing a hood and like being Unibomber’s.
Also can say things on them.
So which sweat is better for you? Is it the formal and fancy bitter sweater for maximum parties and bitter itchiness? Or the sweatshirt for the more informal, more comfortable, and possibly way more athleticy cover up for keeping warm? Just remember while making a decision it will probably get warm and then you will have to start thinking about what to wear in the summer. Uggh.
ARRRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Sweater Never Better Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
Did you know there are cashmere-lined hoodie sweatshirts? You pay top dollar to look like a shmuck, but secretly feel like a baller. It’s the fully-loaded Honda Civic of clothing.
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That sounds like complete nonsense. So probably exactly what I would do.
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Yeah, sweatshirts work well for me….. feel snug and protected in them…..Loved your write up!!!
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I am a huge sweatshirt fan too, I just wish those pockets up front didn’t make me looks like such a kangaroo.
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Forty year old woman, has to be a sweater!!
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I’m a 43 year old dude, but for me it is sweatpants.
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Ooooh-la-la, look at me, Bitter Ben, I know the names of fancy sweaters! Bah! Sweaters are itchy and awful. Sweatshirts all the way!!
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Yeah, I am the sweater expert. I looked in my wife’s closet to see the names on the labels. On the other hand, I know all the sweatpant manufacturers.
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Nothing beats the sweatshirt and sweatpants combo. The only thing that comes close is the sweatshirt and flannel pants combo. Thanks for the post.
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To me clothes are all about the comfort. So essentially it is all about the sweats/sweatshirt/sandals for me, but somehow someone else decided that suits and dresses were necessary to make us uncomfortable.
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I like sweaters that go down to my knees and ponchos, especially if they have pockets.
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My daughter think more girls things should have pockets. As a man, I thought everything had pockets.
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The female race is definitely pocket-deprived.
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While we have pockets everywhere. Have you seen our cargo pants? Or our backpacks?
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I blame Mr. Rogers for my adult fixation with cardigans. I wear them at the office. I wear them to carpool. I wear them to the store. I wear them with pajamas. I may have the largest collection of cardigans in the deep south. I’m just realizing this as I type. I have a cardigan problem.
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I’m sorry to hear that, but on the other hand, most people probably couldn’t compete with my collection of sweater vests.
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I can’t do vests. It’s like they’re spineless and can’t commit. Do they want to be a muscle shirt? Do they want to be a cozy sweater? Pick one, dammit.
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I know. They are kind of wishy washy. Which is why they fit me and my personality so well.
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It stopped freezing over here. Having said that, I prefer sweatshirts, because they’re comfy and they often come with pouches and as we already established I like putting my gerbils in my pouch (although they don’t necessarily like that… Oh well!).
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For some reason I thought it was cold there during the winter. I guess I was wrong.
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Usually it is, but lately we’ve been having softer weather. Global warming, I tell ya D:
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Or in our case, global colding.
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Touché.
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I am a sweater girl. They are easier for me. You are right, Ben. Because I am living in the south (for now) about February I will have to consider breaking out the summer attire because I am certain it will be in the 80’s. UGH, ARGH……..
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That must be so terrible to have to endure the 80’s. I’m just hoping it will get to the 40’s so some of this crusty snow will melt off my car.
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Fingers crossed. 80s are fine if there wasn’t 1000 degrees humidity. I am certain you would be bitter about that, Ben!
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I remember that in Florida. My parents forced us to go on a Disney Cruise that just happened to be in June in Florida and man what a bitter time to be in Florida. And a Disney cruise really? Come on man, why make me do something that makes me so bitter.
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Yeah. I had to attend a wedding in Florida. Humidity + Sick = Bitter
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Humidity + anything = Bitter.
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Wait. People exercise? On purpose?
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I’ve seen people do it on TV. It must just be a reality show thing.
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That’s just disturbing.
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Yeah, I don’t know how people can watch that kind of garbage on television.
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Seriously! I thought we had censors and ten second delays for obscenities like that!
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I guess they forgot to censor things that are the most heinous like exercising on TV.
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Throwing a cardigan in the mix here – comfy warm and stylish 🙂
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I used to wear the old cardigan when I was in high school. Since then, not so much.
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Ben! I didn’t know you were do fashion forward!
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I know. I went to the runway show with my sweatshirt with pizza stains. Almost cause the Kardashians to faint with joy.
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I bet!
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They fainted anyways.
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I pretty much live in hooded sweatshirts all weekend. Especially the two I bought, ironically, at warm, sunny beaches.
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Ha sunny beaches. I wonder what those are all about. Tell me of this sun which you speak of.
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My California heart weeps for you Utahians. 😦
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And my icy cold and bitter heart from Utah is bitter about your warm Californian heart.
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Just to be difficult, I have to tell you I go with the lumberjack look. I’m a flannel type of guy.
I hope this makes you bitter.
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Of course that makes me bitter. The flannel you have to actually button up things which is a whole lot of work.
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Definitely a sweatshirt, one that is oversized, so you can layer various t-shirts under. Sweaters are nice, but for lounging, taking naps, eating pizza and staying comfy, sweatshirts win hands down.
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Exactly. I prefer the sweatshirt with a hood that can hide my identity from cameras in banks, I mean in stores, uh wait, I mean for eating pizza.
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Hee-hee, I KNOW what you mean.
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The police know what I mean too.
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I didn’t know that there was a rivalry btwn sweaters and sweatshirts. It seems to me that this kind of a Coke vs Pepsi situation. But here’s the thing, I’m more of a Dr. Pepper girl which in this context translates to a preference for fleece tops.
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Ah, the fleece tops. Always trying to mix it up with the sweaters and sweatshirts.
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Here in SC it has been a battle of tee shirts or polartec. 60s to 30s to who knows.
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Yeah, the bitter battle of the thermometer. Our’s is between 0 and 32.
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Right now I’m wearing a flannel shirt. At my age, I throw on whatever’s handy and wait for the next hot flash.
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So you are neither one on the bitter rivalry? I guess a third party appears!
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I’ve always felt the two party system to be too rigid to be truly inclusive.
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I’ve always felt the rivalry between two equally matched opponents to be fascinating. But the third option is always the thing that breaks the stranglehold on two equally matched opponents and gives the one that includes that third option the upper hand.
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