Everyone goes through peaks and valleys or as I like to call them The Middle of the Sun during Summer and Middle of the Antarctic in the winter. You might reach your peak efficiency of the work week on Wednesday at 10 am, or you might reach you absolute low at 3 pm on Tuesday. … Continue reading It’s all Downhill from here Friday Giftures
food
Becoming a Pizza Gardener
Last Friday, I was eating a sandwich from a place called Home Grown that was really good, and it came with some chips that were also really good. One of my co-workers wondered aloud if they actually grew the potatoes themselves to make the chips. That lead me to then say, "Nope. I think they … Continue reading Becoming a Pizza Gardener
The Bitter Groundhog
Let's face it. The groundhog is famous for only two things. Every February they are known for disappointing millions of people by seeing their shadow or not seeing their shadow(whichever one it is, I don't think anyone knows) and predicting that we have 6 more weeks of winter. Though if you want to be disappointed … Continue reading The Bitter Groundhog
Bitterly Depressing Friday Giftures
Yesterday was so depressing. Some weirdos in Florida and California took my winning lottery tickets from me, my idol and hero who played all the best villains, Alan Rickman died(Hans Gruber AND Snape. Two of the most bitter guys in cinema.) and once again my book didn't get published. Some say you should actually … Continue reading Bitterly Depressing Friday Giftures
Bitter Billionaire Ben
Since I probably won't win that Powerball thingy because I'm not really a 1 in a billion odds kind of winner, I need to rethink the way I'm going to get the dollars in your pockets to mine. I tried to build the world's strongest vacuum that would suck the money directly from your wallets, … Continue reading Bitter Billionaire Ben
It’s Time to Bail Gifture Friday
In case you didn't know it, I am here to remind you that today is Friday. That means it is time to bail. Time to throw aside your work clothes and put on "Casual Friday" clothes. Time to bail on your diet that you committed to on Jan. 1 and get some pizza instead … Continue reading It’s Time to Bail Gifture Friday
Then end of the World..I mean the end of the Year Bitter Giftures
As R.E.M. said, "It's the end of the Year as we know it, and I feel bitter." As I do my end of year bitterness reviews, I realize how little I did, and I realize I can do way better next year. And by way better, I mean do way less than I did this … Continue reading Then end of the World..I mean the end of the Year Bitter Giftures
The Bitter Body Swap
A little while ago, I was telling my son about the glamorous life of being an adult and he was like, "Dad, I totally want to trade. I want to go to work, and you can go to my school! You can be the kid and I can be an adult. You can do boring … Continue reading The Bitter Body Swap
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Day v. Night
Annnd...now the awkward season of "Did I accomplish anything this year?" begins. At least for people that actually have goals and stuff. Those people are probably hard at work with guilt and regret and suffering because they didn't live up to goals. And scheming is taking place to start new goals. That must cause … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Day v. Night
Some Last minute Friday Gif Ideas
I feel you, last minute procrastinator shoppers. I'm out shopping for my last minute gifs RIGHT NOW. For some reason all the stores seem to be closed, but I'm bound and determined...just kidding, I'm just wandering around out here. Where is everyone by the way? How is it that I'm am supposed to get … Continue reading Some Last minute Friday Gif Ideas
All I want for Christmas…
When someone tries to teach me something, they need to bring visual aids. If it is math, I need some story problems. If it is science, I need a telescope. If it is a restaurant you are trying to convince me to go to, bring me a pizza from there. You can't ask … Continue reading All I want for Christmas…
Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
I feel like we are all a little out of whack here. And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack. I've noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza. And to … Continue reading Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
Taking over the World
It was 1998 when I knew I wanted to take over the world. Pinky and the Brain inspired it. (If a couple of lab rats can almost do it, I certainly could with my human like size.) My best friend from college and I always talked about it and planned it. We would start slowly with him … Continue reading Taking over the World
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
You would think that this time of year, with the spirit of the holidays, competition would begin to tail off a little bit. But you would be wrong. Things seem to heat up even more for some reason. Rivalries start to get even more intense. The Great American Light Fight has expanded the fight to … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
Hospital Bitterness
I may or may not have recently visited the hospital recently. I think some people love them, because they help save lives or help sick people or other important jobs like that. I get that hospitals don't make much money, because they charge so little for their services. I have heard from a reliable source … Continue reading Hospital Bitterness
Unplanned obsolescence bitterness
Whether you like it or not, many products and services fail(I'm not the only thing that fails over and over). It is the nature of things to eventually break whether it is your car, your refrigerator, or Transformer toy collection(like I would know anything about this). What you may not know is that companies and manufacturers actually plan … Continue reading Unplanned obsolescence bitterness
Bitter Friday Drifting Giftures
As you know, I'm a big fan of the nap. It provides me with a good way to get away from reality, because reality makes me bitter. In reality, you have to be around people and answer questions, and do things. All things I don't like doing. I've found though, that you don't always have … Continue reading Bitter Friday Drifting Giftures
Lost in the Woods and other Bitter Posts: The Epcot Version
The forest is a place full of mystery, wonder and trees. Lots and lots of trees. Forests would be awesome if it wasn't for all the trees. If you haven't noticed, especially at this time of year, trees are kind of jerks. They litter constantly, they are always swaying and scratching and making spooky noises … Continue reading Lost in the Woods and other Bitter Posts: The Epcot Version
The Supermoon
I spent most of the day Saturday out in the middle of nowhere Washington, at a family reunion. It was at a Great Uncle or something's house that had a sprawling 10-15 acres (I have no idea how big acres are. Let's just say it was a big yard.) In the back, there was a … Continue reading The Supermoon
The Bitter Crunchy vs plain debate
I thought at some point I would stop learning things because my body is pretty lazy. I figured my mind would start retiring from learning too. But no, my mind had to go and be all ambitious and pull up a fact that I hadn't really learned in 40 years of existing on earth. Luckily it wasn't life changing or … Continue reading The Bitter Crunchy vs plain debate
Ben's Bitter Blog 