Bitter Rivalry of the Week: The Red Pill vs. The Blue Pill

The Bitter Rivalry

The Bitter Rivalry.

The Matrix is my all time favorite surprise movies. After I graduated college, I continued to be just as much of a dork as I was in college and that meant I went to see a lot of movies alone. I was okay with that because it was really hard to find people as bitter as I was to go do stuff with and people are the worst anyways. So one time, around my birthday, I went to the movies without any movie in mind. I was just going to pick one when I got there. The Matrix. Interesting name. I hadn’t heard anything about it. In fact the only thing I knew about the word Matrix was the Optimus Prime had the Matrix of leadership in his chest. And since he was the coolest robot to be a truck ever, I guess it was a good thing.

As you know, the Matrix was amazing. It was one of the last movies I remember being totally and completely surprised by. Nowadays, any movie you want to see will have teasers and trailers and a pre-planned Super Bowl ad that they will pre-air before the Super Bowl just to get you excited for the Super Bowl ad. No good movies are a secret anymore. And trailers are getting better and better…at revealing everything. Which leads to massive let down.

Kind of like this post will be by the time all the hype of the first few paragraphs have worn off. As you know in the Matrix, there are huge rivalries, but none bigger than Blue Pill vs. the Red Pill.

Red pill or the blue?

Red pill or the blue?

The Blue Pill – According to the movie, “You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and you get to believe whatever you want to believe.” So in other words, the lazy pill? Laying in bed? That sounds niiice. And the steaks? Out of this world. And I’m not talking about the stakes between living and dying, I’m talking about New York Strip and Tenderloin and Filet Mignon. Red pill just gets you a little mush.  On the bitter side, they don’t promise you an X1 TV remote where we could just speak into it and get the program whatever you want. Yeah, that steaks are pretty tasty, but you actually have to pay for them. And the woman in the red dress might be pretty hot, but on the other hand she is kind of annoying. All dressing up  and shooting you in the face like an agent kind of sucks.

The Red Pill – According to the movie, “You take the Red Pill, and you stay in Wonderland, and I (Morpheus) show you how deep the rabbit hill goes.” If you decide to go into the Matrix, you get some pretty nice threads (all black of course), a nice remote control that allows you to jump to your death and bounce, learn ju-jitsu and kung-fu and learn how to fly. You get to dodge bullets, find a new rival that is a computer virus and get to have all kinds of philosophical conversations with keymakers, mainframes and old traffickers of information that have great taste in whine and sound like Frenchmen(while having a conversation with a guy about traffic sounds pretty dull). On the other hand, you have to go down a water slide, get metal unhooked from your spine, and sleep in a metal ship that has a way uncomfortable bed. And being the Chosen one and saving the world is kind of exhausting.

So, which pill are you? Are you a boring but safe Blue Pill person that is hard to swallow? Or are you a more adventurous, but exhausting Red Bill that causes way too many side effects? Vote down in the comments, you bitter pill maniacs…

ARRRRGGGHHHH

Bitter Pill to Swallow Ben

 

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59 thoughts on “Bitter Rivalry of the Week: The Red Pill vs. The Blue Pill

    • I always wondered what would happen if you took both. Thanks for taking that bullet for me so I didn’t have to figure it out myself. Sounds like a bitter concoction of everything going wrong. Sounds like maybe I need to take them both.

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  1. I have people or friends as most people call them to go to movies with, but I still prefer to go alone and do so most of the time. After I’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m a red pill person who instantly regrets it as you might have recalled in a certain blog post of mine.

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  2. First, I would ask lots of questions so I could make an informed choice. Of course, Morpheus would just get irritated and throw me out because I’m persistent. If he actually answered my questions and did not throw me out, I would select the blue pill as long as it does not mean I will die. I enjoy a calm and simple life with a bit of travel mixed in for excitement. I would not want to stay in Wonderland because it looked like hell.

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  3. I’ll be blue…and I never really got that movie anyway. Yeah, you might just want to unfriend me now…but I’ll probably still read and comment on your blog and you’ll probably answer me because you can’t resist my annoying comments so…

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  4. The Matrix must have been released before Big Pharma gave “The Blue Pill” a whole new meaning. Safe and boring sounds OK to me, but it never works out that way. I think someone is slipping red pills into my morning coffee–one more thing to be bitter about.

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  5. I’m a red pill taker in my mind, blue pill in reality. btw, I saw the Matrix in England and they showed a different ending there. The screen went black and these words came up “THE FUTURE IS YOURS TO MAKE”. Or something like that.

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  6. Oh, I am red pill all the way. But just my luck, I think someone screwed up and fed me a purple pill. Now I’m aware that the world’s not flat, but I’m stuck in la-la land with all the blue pill fans. I tried looking for a pay phone, but I guess those only exist in the other Matrix. 😛

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  7. Hi Ben, my first comment disappeared…Matrix Effect? Never saw any of them, never will. Not voting, going to steal some peeps from daughter’s basket now. Stay bitter, friend.

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  8. Hi Ben, enjoyed your Matrix review, now I never have to see it, ever. I think I’ll go steal some peeps from my daughter’s basket. Enjoy the day between Bitterness Bouts.

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  9. It is often more enjoyable and less distracting to see a movie alone. Alone and drunk is even better, (as sad as that sounds). You can always go back to reality after the movie. If you are married with children, then alone and drunk at a movie you want to see is as good as a vacation.

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  10. you do see the red trench coat in my avatar, yes? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

    the Matrix is one of my all time favorites. You can have your existentialist philosophy cake in a cyberpunk, kung-fu action movie form and eat it too (meaning, have it not suck :P) very well made throughout.

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