Remember when I talked about us living in a simulation a little while ago? Probably not, because you don't really think about my posts after you read them. Living in a simulation doesn't really make sense right? But then you watched the Matrix and you started to believe. One of the ways the Matrix taught … Continue reading Bananas Bitter Friday Giftures
Humor
Streamer Bitter Friday Giftures
When I was 22, I had the energy to work a full day, come home, play a sport, and then after that go out and enjoy some time with friends and then come home and stay up until 4 am. I never did any of those things, but I had the energy to do those … Continue reading Streamer Bitter Friday Giftures
Stealth Arts Bitter Friday Giftures
Besides the candy part, I've never been a big fan of Halloween. The part I like least is the dressing up. If I was good at making and wearing costumes, I could be making big bucks doing cosplay and going to conventions like Comic-con, or PAX. Maybe it's the fact that wearing uncomfortable, hot, sweaty … Continue reading Stealth Arts Bitter Friday Giftures
Difficulty Settings Bitter Friday Giftures
I used to be young. When I was that, I used to be really good at video games. There was this Mega Man game that I played once and really liked it and when screenshots of Mega Man 2 came out, I was just floored. At the time, they were bleeding edge graphics and I … Continue reading Difficulty Settings Bitter Friday Giftures
Mayonnaise Packet Bitter Friday Giftures
As an ardent video gamer and human being, I'm very familiar with what gamers like to call a "fetch quest". If you are not familiar, it's basically the way a game will extend a mission, make a game longer. In real life, it's just a way of making your life more frustrating. The definition is … Continue reading Mayonnaise Packet Bitter Friday Giftures
Treadmill Bitter Friday Giftures
Yesterday, I had just arrived at my gym parking lot, when my wife called. So I had to do the most amount of multitasking I could possibly do, which was walking and talking on the phone at the same time. By the time I got to the treadmill we were still talking, so I had … Continue reading Treadmill Bitter Friday Giftures
The Simulation Bitter Friday Giftures
You know the movie Free Guy with Ryan Reynolds is coming out today right? Since Ryan wasn't able to sponsor this blog post because of his ties to Mint Mobile, I'm going to sponsor it myself. Unfortunately, my bank account is being drained by these three people who are squatting in my house (they keep … Continue reading The Simulation Bitter Friday Giftures
Underground Lair Bitter Friday Giftures
We've all lost a lot in the pandemic. Lost lives, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost freedoms and lost breathing (you know from those dang masks). All I know is that I'm never wearing one of those things again. I've personally lost a lot of things since the pandemic started too. I'm still missing one of … Continue reading Underground Lair Bitter Friday Giftures
Messenger Boy Bitter Friday Giftures
I've had a few jobs in my days as a person. The first one I had was a back yard maintenance crewperson for a Midwestern bank executive and his wife. They provided room and board from ages 0 to 18. Sometimes they would pay me $10 for the lawn mowing. Sometimes they would hug me, … Continue reading Messenger Boy Bitter Friday Giftures
Gum Confident Bitter Friday Giftures
I was one of the last people to watch a movie in a theater before the pandemic thing started 5 years ago. I remember it so clearly, because it was March 13th, maybe a couple of days after the NBA shut down. It was on Friday the 13th and the theater had maybe 6 people … Continue reading Gum Confident Bitter Friday Giftures
The Bitter Spouse that Nobody Likes
It's weird how when I was growing up, I didn't hear much about illnesses other than colds, flus and maybe typhoid fever. Probably because as a kid, I hadn't started a job, had kids myself, or learned about debt, taxes and death. But as soon as I started experiencing real stress, like making sure I … Continue reading The Bitter Spouse that Nobody Likes
Road Trippin Bitter Friday Giftures
The road trip movie is a standard Hollywood movie right of passage. Besides a couple of exceptions, (Vacation, Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber) they are pretty formulaic and kind of an excuse for terrible and absurd things to happen. Then at the end of the horrific trip, the participants are supposed to have learned something … Continue reading Road Trippin Bitter Friday Giftures
Gas Station Bitter Friday Giftures
For all six of you who follow me regularly, you might have noticed that I was MIA last week. That's because I was sequestered by my company to go on a long business trip. You might think that it would have been a fun trip because I was flying first class with hot towel and … Continue reading Gas Station Bitter Friday Giftures
Merging Bitter Friday Giftures
When I grew up, my favorite cartoon/toy was the Transformers. From the moment I saw the first episode, and I saw a robot change into a car, I was hooked. I don't know if it was the cool sound, or the fact that a robot could also be a car, jet or park bench, but … Continue reading Merging Bitter Friday Giftures
Masterclass Bitter Friday Giftures
You know that college is pretty useless right? Don't believe me? Just take a look at just two examples I have, both in my own family, and I will prove it. (Isn't that what science teaches us? That we have to prove things?) First example is me. I went dutifully for 5 years to college. … Continue reading Masterclass Bitter Friday Giftures
Pain in the Neck Bitter Friday Giftures
My neck has done some heavy lifting throughout my life. And not by choice. By obligation. It's connected my low functioning brain connected to rest of me. It's done a lot of swiveling back and forth between two computer screens and been pushed back and forth on roller coasters. It's been shaved thousands of time … Continue reading Pain in the Neck Bitter Friday Giftures
48 Things I’m Bitter About
Mirrors are such liars. I wake up every morning knowing that I am handsome and funny like Steve Carell, but as soon as I look in the mirror, I see this strange, weird, bitter older looking guy. So they are pretty useless and bad liars. It's this time of year, that I finally realize that … Continue reading 48 Things I’m Bitter About
April Fool Bitter Friday Giftures
Other than the my birthday and Christmas, April Fool's Day is probably my favorite day of the year. It was especially awesome back in the day when the company I worked for had year end on March 31st, which meant we often had to stay until really late pretending to work or something. So the … Continue reading April Fool Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Book Bitterness
Recently, I did a blog post about the fact that I've been blogging for 9 years now. Which seems crazy, because I barely have the attention span of a gnat. This blog is older than most gnats. Except for that gnat that looks like Prince Phillip. You might think that I've done nothing else in … Continue reading Bitter Book Bitterness
Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures
Why do you think March Madness the ultimate time of year for so many people? Well, some say it is for college basketball. You know, the crazy upsets, the buzzer beaters and the nail biting games. Or it could be the one-in-a-million shot that you could accidentally fill out a Final Four bracket in your … Continue reading Mascot Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 