I can count on my fingers and maybe one set of my toes the amount of extraordinary days I’ve had in my life. And even those extraordinary days had a lot of ordinaryness. My wedding day was pretty epic, but there were moments in the day where I was just taking a shower, or twiddling my thumbs waiting for something to start.
The day my daughter was born was pretty epic, but there were still moments in the day that were pretty typical. Like for instance, my wife woke me up at 3 am and told me her water broke, but I told her that I should just stay asleep until my normal waking up time of 5 am, because you know, schedules are important too.
Contrast that with the lives of people in movies. Their lives are filled with epic moments from the moment they wake up, to the moment they hit the pillow. I know editing has to take out the boring parts or we would never watch a movie (or would we? Have you ever watched a Twitch stream?). But how are we finding entertainment relatable when these action stars, superheroes or whatever else people watch nowadays, are nothing like us?
Who knows? Why aren’t we getting more epic moments in our lives? Because we just want to sit on the couch as soon as we get home from work? Or that our necks, backs, knees and shoulders hurt constantly and to do an epic journey takes the fitness level of the Rock at the gym everyday for 8 hours?
There is something that I’m missing. Everything I do could be more epic. It isn’t my fault though. It’s the Epic Music Director(EMD) fault. The EMD’s job is to follow me around wherever I go and blast out that music whenever I do something mildly interesting. And my EMD clearly isn’t doing that right now.
When the EMD starts doing their job, then I can do my job of being more epic.
So just like every other problem I have, it comes down to other people not doing their jobs first. What am I supposed to do? Be proactive? When has proactivity ever accomplished anything? Do you think we got to space by being proactive? Nope. The reason we finally made it to space is because the EMD finally started recognizing that we couldn’t get there until we had epic music playing in the background.
Same for action movies. Car chases don’t just happen spontaneously, or when someone is trying to get away. It happens when EMD start playing their music in the background. Then the chase can commence.
So, please, don’t blame your boring, uneventful, stagnant life on yourself. It isn’t your fault that your life sucks. It isn’t all the inactions that you are taking that are making you boring, indecisive, or less interesting.
It’s the EMD’s fault. Never take that blame. Place it squarely on the shoulders of the EMD who is letting YOU down over and over again. Tell them to start practicing and being a little more participatory in your life, so you can finally be epic for once. Even if that epic moment is you walking from the couch to the fridge to get a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup (Sponsored) with that creamy peanut butter and delicious milk chocolate. Not Sorry.
ARRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH
Bitter Epic Music Bitterness Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
OMG – LOL!! What did your wife do after you told her to wait until 5am?! Epic indeed!
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She still holds that one against me to this day. It didn’t end up mattering much because she got a C-Section, so our daughter was born by noon.
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I would have paid money to see the look on her face at the very moment you said that to her 🤣🤣🤣…I think you both deserve an award for that moment.
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I think I would have paid money to see it too. I think it was like 3 am and I don’t remember opening my eyes very much. I do remember her calmly getting her go bag ready and paying bills. It was very unexpected, because she was almost assured that we were doing a C-Section 5 days later, so neither of us were ready. I like to say it gave her a little more time to get stuff ready for the baby. The extra 2 hours helped with that. At least that is what I’m going to claim.
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🤣🤣… I think I would have calmly packed my bag and drove myself to the hospital while you slept!
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You probably have a point. I wouldn’t have blamed her for doing so, and making me feel guilty for having to drive separately to hospital.
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This reminds me of a scene from a very old Saturday Night Live skit when Miami Vice was popular. I know I am dating myself, but it was so funny that I still remember it. Crockett and Tubbs pounced into a room for the action scene, but they couldn’t hear each other over the blasting background music. I remember thinking that it was the music that made the show. Imagine watching those scenes in silence? The show would have been canceled in a week.
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That is for sure. And so many scenes in movies would be just as mundane or just as awkward as our own lives are.
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Yeah. How come people in movies only go to the bathroom when something awful is about to happen? Or to look in the mirror and take stock of their (temporarily) crappy lives?
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Or if it is to tell a really crappy joke (pun intended).
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I always have the feeling that I’m stuck in an elevator, cause all my EMD plays is elevator music. It’s kinda sad.
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Sounds like you need to hire a new EMD, as they are playing the wrong music for you.
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I’d hire Pink Floyd if I could. Nothing like that feeling of being comfortably numb.
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That is the feeling I seek all the time. Bitterness is next to numbness.
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Now I want a peanut butter cup…. that would be epic enough for me.
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Sweet, my influencer influence is already working. Just tell Reese’s when you buy it that you used my promo code BITTER, so I will get the affiliate money.
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