I make really bad decisions on a daily basis, but when given two days of "freedom" on the weekend there are even worse decisions made. For instance, this weekend there was the whole sleepover thing that lead to me going to bed at 9:40 pm Friday (the life of an old year old.) This lead me … Continue reading Bitterly Bad Decision Monday
entertainment
The Rise of the Blanket Fort
When I dream, I often dream big. In the literal sense. Back when I was in school, I would have these dreams about this ginormous school that had 8,000 classes and that would take a speed train just to get from one class to the other. The lockers were the size of a house … Continue reading The Rise of the Blanket Fort
Hybrid Kid’s Crap for Sale!
Unless you know some kid that constantly watches Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, Sprout or Nickelodeon this post may not make sense. Let's just say you do know what Snuggies are thought, whether you want to admit it or not. When they first came out, you laughed at them and said, "There is no way I'm going to ever … Continue reading Hybrid Kid’s Crap for Sale!
Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
I've been told by television that if you exercise and eat right for like a year, you will lose half your body weight. Your life will "be transformed", everyone will "fake" like you, and you will "find the person of your dreams" and you will get the "promotion you've been striving for", you will get … Continue reading Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
Raining on your Parade Gifs
It's another Friday and I'm sure you all have some great expectations about what you are going to do this weekend. Maybe you will go to the beach, see a new movie, or go camping. Before you go and get all excited about your weekend and all your high expectations for it, let me go ahead … Continue reading Raining on your Parade Gifs
10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
A couple of days ago, I was watching the Bachelor's Paradise. These are people that have been on the Bachelor and "didn't win" in their particular cycle as if not getting engaged to the one girl or boy amongst all the contestants is losing. What we all know is that in the end is that they … Continue reading 10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
The Bitter Daddy Long Legs
Shark week just started and for some reason people are fascinated. Might be that they love Sharknado with all in terrifying special effects or the fact that they want to see someone get swallowed by a shark, or that the summer sun has finally gotten to them and they just can't think straight anymore. Sharks may be … Continue reading The Bitter Daddy Long Legs
Living Down to Bitter Expectation Giftures
There has been a lot of talk in the NBA lately about legacy. Will Lebron and the Heat be able to win three Championships in a row and solidify his "legacy" as one of the greatest ever? Will Tim Duncan and the Spurs win one last one and retire as one of the best ever … Continue reading Living Down to Bitter Expectation Giftures
In case you missed it…because the media was chasing you
You just typed the blog of your life and that one person that wrote a book, accidentally followed you. All of a sudden, your blog is blowing up, and you are adding like 5 followers a month. All of a sudden, rumors are flying around about the bacon vegan meal you had, the scandalous … Continue reading In case you missed it…because the media was chasing you
Breaking Down the Bitter Walls
There are walls everywhere. Some are mobile and go 70 miles an hour in rush hour. Others are tiny and whiny and somehow live in the same neighborhood as your kids, want to eat all your food and mess up your house, play all your video games, then leave without a care in world, … Continue reading Breaking Down the Bitter Walls
Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
If there is something I lose more than my wallet(which of course I forgot or lost this morning), it is my memory. Every time I wake up in the morning I lose about every shred of a dream I might have had. Probably a good thing, considering how bitter my dreams probably are. Pretty much … Continue reading Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
I think my veins are filled with either honey or fear. Because of the warm weather (65 degrees!, just kidding 85) in the last two days, I have had to roll down the windows of my car. It seems like whenever I pull up to a stop, a member of the bee community has been … Continue reading Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
Bitterly Fresh Air
It was around 5:30 pm on Mother's Day and the kids were getting restless. By restless, I mean they were getting on our nerves. Somehow, the clouds and rain had decided to take the day off. Sunshine was penetrating every window in the house and it was getting stuffy inside. Mom needed to get … Continue reading Bitterly Fresh Air
Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Work is my all time favorite thing to be bitter about. Why you might ask? The thing you most want to complain about is the thing that you have to do the most. Also, if you ever want to talk about it, you have to be sneaky, like when you are at home and … Continue reading Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Some people (like you) have big goals, lofty ideals and save the world mentality. Some people just want to watch the world be bitter (me). Regardless of your goals and expectations, sometimes you fall short(or always you fall short. Uh hem me.) There is nothing bitterer than falling short of expectations. The worst thing of … Continue reading Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Bitter Problems
It's a perfect day outside. The sun is shining, traffic is light, birds are chirping, welcoming the season of spring gently. A hard month end is over, so work will be light, co-workers will be happy and customers in a good mood. Maybe I can even go outside for lunch, get a little sun and … Continue reading Bitter Problems
Bitterly Intense Friday Giftures
Things are getting all intense up in here. The NBA playoffs are finally here, crazy things are happening on Season Finale's all over television, and even WordPress is making some insane decisions. Probably about the time you read this, a post I did on my birthday entitled 41 Reasons to be Bitter will be … Continue reading Bitterly Intense Friday Giftures
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
I am in an undisclosed location that absolutely does not rhyme with DUtah, under strict orders by myself to not to do work, but the Mr. Work Enforcer (me) never said anything about blogging, even though it is a lot of work. I'm in an overground bunker that they call houses here, that has … Continue reading In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
As the internet's number 2(because who is more bitter than someone who is only second best) leading expert in Bitterness, I have not once been asked to give a lecture or speech on how it is done. When I figured out that people had absolutely no desire to learn the bitter trade, that is when … Continue reading The Keys to Becoming a Better Bitterer
Ben's Bitter Blog 