Bitterly Bad Decision Monday

Worldwide Day of What are you talking about?

Worldwide Day of What are you talking about?

 

I make really bad decisions on a daily basis, but when given two days of “freedom” on the weekend there are even worse decisions made.  For instance, this weekend there was the whole sleepover thing that lead to me going to bed at 9:40 pm Friday (the life of an old year old.) This lead me to waking up on Saturday actually feeling a little less tired and ready for a nap than I usually am.  I did the things that I normally try to do on Saturdays, which is eat three bowls of Frosted Flakes, obtain my unhealthy sugar high for the day, then sit on the couch for several hours while the day whittles away slowly and I regret all the nothing I did all day.  This Saturday morning took a tragic turn however, when my kids started watching Nickelodeon.  Normally, I prefer Cartoon Network and will lead them in that manner by shaming them for watching such immature cartoons, but today, I was in a meh amount of non-committal bleh.  So as the time neared 9:00 am, the Nickelodeon’s started talking some gibberish on the commercials.  I wasn’t familiar with the words they were saying so I kind of stood up and took notice.  They said that today was Worldwide Day of Play.  What is this thing they spoke of?

The crazy people of Nickelodeon proposed that we “go outside and do something” as opposed to watching Nickelodeon.  Are they crazy? For three hours? What kind of endurance they they think we have around here? And don’t they know how dangerous it is outside? There could be sun out there! There could be dirt and grass that get us dirty? There could be calories that were actually stolen from all the gains I made that morning with the cereal.  Why would you ask this of us Nickelodeon? Why would the whole world of people be asked to go outside?  Don’t they know it could be crowded out there?  So, since Nickelodeon wasn’t going to show anything and I couldn’t reach the remote control to change it to another less guilt shaming network, I was coerced to go outside.  And throw things to my son.  My arm started hurting immediately and my eyes almost went blind from the sun breaking through all the clouds and my legs and arms got weak from all the exercise. The fresh air the entered my lungs almost choked me from mixing with all the toxic bitter air inside my lungs. It was a nightmare that I kept trying to wake from.

I got buuurned.

I got buuurned.

Finally the Worldwide day of Play was over. Thankfully in the eyes of Nickelodeon 3 hours means a day.  And thankfully it was all just a nightmare that I woke up from when taking a nap on the couch.  Pshhheww.

Arrrgggghhhh

Bitter Bad Decision Ben

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37 thoughts on “Bitterly Bad Decision Monday

  1. Ben
    I don’t believe you’re really that bitter, but I get that it’s the gig fulfillment contract and you need to be, well bitter sounding. Even so, the more funny pieces you write (like this) the more we may think you’re bitter like 70% cocoa chocolate or an I.P.A. beer. Those are bitterly good.
    Loved your “old year old” line.
    Pat
    Thanks for stopping by at AHintOfLight.com

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  2. I want a day of play, my kids are grown-ups and I am bitter they no longer think it is funny when we get together at a park and roll down the hill,actually it is trip down the hill these days, but whatever. I am even more bitter that it takes an hour to get back up off the ground when I am done making a fool of myself.

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  3. My kids love Nickelodeon. Since I’m a Mom, I’m not allowed to admit that I too, feel the “Worldwide Day of Play” is stupid and useless. I don’t want to go outside WITH them, but I have to, because apparently 3 year olds arent old enough to play outside by the pool alone. Sheesh. Ridiculous.

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    • Mine are partial ot Cartoon Network, that doesn’t believe in the worldwide day of play. That makes me much less bitter. I am trying to train them to be as lazy as me, but so far they still like the outdoors and running around.

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