It's that time of the year. The haunted houses are advertising that they can scare the heck out of you. The horror movies are making amazing amounts of cash by scaring the crap out of you. Worst of all, the pumpkin spice flavors are out to take all your money. But I'm not going … Continue reading Friday the 13th Giftures
Bitter Friday Giftures
Slow motion Friday Giftures
Someone must have hit the slow motion button on my life, because I can't seem to keep up. Just yesterday my kids were just starting school and today they tell me they are in 4th and 8th grades. The other day Donald Trump was this rich real estate guy from New York. Just today … Continue reading Slow motion Friday Giftures
Go Fun My Bitterness Friday Giftures
I really like the idea of working from home, but only if I'm not actually working from home. I.E. I get paid to do things, but don't actually do things. I've decided that if some people can get money for free on Go Fun Me, so should I. They may say they have a … Continue reading Go Fun My Bitterness Friday Giftures
Friday Giftures for Days
The days are becoming shorter and I'm okay with that. Daytime isn't good for you. The is the part of the 24 hours period where you have to do things like work, breathe, shop, deal with people, etc. On the other hand, the night time is when you do fun stuff like TV, video games, … Continue reading Friday Giftures for Days
Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to Meet Me Friday Giftures
There's nothing better or more offensive than when Micheal Scott does a character. The best part is that he can always blame it on the character. Much like I do when I blame all the bitterness on Bitter Ben. He is just the worst sometimes. Anyway, when Micheal Scott becomes Date Mike, he is just … Continue reading Hi, I’m Date Mike. Nice to Meet Me Friday Giftures
Why did the Chicken cross the Playground? To get to the other Slide on down to Friday Giftures
I used to tell dumb jokes when I was young. I also told dumb jokes yesterday. You see, I haven't changed. Not one bit. Well I have expanded. My gut. And my back isn't what it used to be. And my face is 10 times older than when I was four. But other than … Continue reading Why did the Chicken cross the Playground? To get to the other Slide on down to Friday Giftures
Swift End to Friday Giftures
There is no better way to prepare for a weekend than trying to figure out why someone is stalking you. I'm not sure why anyone would want to stalk me, because my life is exceedingly dull and uninteresting, and all I have is this very famous blog as a platform, but for some reason … Continue reading Swift End to Friday Giftures
I’m Not a Big Fan of Friday Giftures
While the heat continues to plague us, we find ways to beat the heat. Since I have the air conditioning set at arctic temperatures, so I have to sleep in a heavy coat under my comforter, it is okay when I am inside the house. However, for those six seconds between the house and … Continue reading I’m Not a Big Fan of Friday Giftures
Life’s Little Bitter Annoyances Friday Giftures
It's not everyday when there are big bitter annoyances that happen like traffic accidents, or annoying co-workers talking to you all day. It's on those days when you need to search out for the little things that annoy you. Sometimes you just have to be thankful for the mosquitoes buzzing in your ear, or … Continue reading Life’s Little Bitter Annoyances Friday Giftures
The Dog Days of Bitterness Friday Giftures
I guess it is August now, which means it is the dog days of the summer. That means we should lazily be sitting around the house like dogs do in a heat wave right? I am totally down with that. If Pizza Hut could go ahead and deliver pizza to my mouth that would be … Continue reading The Dog Days of Bitterness Friday Giftures
Home run Bitter Giftures
My son and I have had this nightly routine this summer. I get home from work and sweaty and sticky, because my car doesn't have air conditioning. Around 5:30 pm, I throw my stuff everywhere, talk with the wife about our days, and just when I sit down and chill on my phone. Just when … Continue reading Home run Bitter Giftures
Not so cool Friday Giftures
I don't work at the speed of light. I have a tendency to be slackadaisical from time to time, especially when it comes to people I don't needing things from me. I take my time to do things mediocrially. But for the most part I get things done within the day that you need it. … Continue reading Not so cool Friday Giftures
You broke my smolder Friday Giftures
I am in the middle of an epic struggle called it's the hottest time of the year here, and we have no air conditioning. I was used to that in Seattle, because it never got over 55 degrees there, but here it has been between 95 and like 2000 degrees hotter than sun. I … Continue reading You broke my smolder Friday Giftures
Power out Friday Giftures
Of course we lose power in the middle of the summer. We have the worst luck in the world (or at least my own world) when it comes to losing power. We used to lose it all the time in Seattle. Any time a tree swayed or a slight wind picked up, you could count … Continue reading Power out Friday Giftures
Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
I've always been a closet claustrophobic. And by closet, I mean I hate being in closets because they are cramped. On the other hand, most people are afraid of heights, which I am not. No, I've never been on the top of Mt. Killaminjaro or whatever, but I used to climb on my roof … Continue reading Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
Summer Bitter, Summer Worse Friday Giftures
I'm what the Germans would call a Schadenfreudener or however they spell it. I like to see other people bitter. It was the reason I started this blog and this life so many years ago. I have ambition in being inambitious. I want to spread the word while laying on the couch. I want … Continue reading Summer Bitter, Summer Worse Friday Giftures
There should be more Lines Friday Giftures
No, I'm not talking about standing in lines for something stupid like movies or concerts or donuts. I'm talking about roads. I know some of them appear straight, but they aren't straight enough. I mean there should be a road that goes directly from where I am to my front door at all times. Why … Continue reading There should be more Lines Friday Giftures
Driving Irresponsibly Friday Giftures
There was an accident yesterday on the freeway, which caused all kinds of backups. Unfortunately, I went a little too early, so I missed all the chaos and arrived on time. Why do these things always happen to me? Why can't I figure out just the wrong time to come, so I have an excuse … Continue reading Driving Irresponsibly Friday Giftures
9000!!!! Followers Friday Giftures
Congratulations to the Darkest Fairytale, you just became the newest and bitterest member of the internet, IE you just became my 9000th WordPress follower. Do you know what this means? It means... It also means that we have to do at least 9000 gifs today for Friday Giftures. Ugh, it's going to be a … Continue reading 9000!!!! Followers Friday Giftures
It’s Time to Pin This Week Down Giftures
If I was a wrestler, then I would probably wear a mask and be the Bitter Brawler or something like that. I just assume that people really wouldn't want to see what is under the mask. I pretty much wouldn't be a champion, and I certainly would be a villain, but definitely the least popular … Continue reading It’s Time to Pin This Week Down Giftures
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