Home run Bitter Giftures

My son and I have had this nightly routine this summer. I get home from work and sweaty and sticky, because my car doesn’t have air conditioning. Around 5:30 pm, I throw my stuff everywhere, talk with the wife about our days, and just when I sit down and chill on my phone.  Just when I get comfortable, he comes to me with bat and ball, or football in hand and says, “Dad, let’s go outside and play.”

I tell him no, he insists yes, I tell him no again, he insists again and we go on and on for about 45 minutes until I finally, bitterly relent. So most days, I throw him the ball and he hits it pretty far, and I have to chase it down. Because that is fair. I’m the old one, and the tired one, and the lazy one, and yet here I am chasing the ball down.

Yesterday for some reason, he hit three straight home runs. I’m not talking barely over the designated home run sidewalk, I’m talking like well beyond to the retaining wall for the clubhouse home runs. He misses a few, then cranks a few more. I’m starting to suspect something. He has been a little more aggressive lately, and for a 9 year old, he sure has a lot of zits and bacne. And the muscles he’s had in the last few days…hmmm, I don’t want to be too accusatory, but I’m starting to think…maybe it is time for Friday Giftures.

 

I’d like to say my reaction was something like this…

…but I had to chase them down, so no it wasn’t. 

After he hit those home off me…

…he was pretty much like this.

And when he hit them…

…this was me trying to chase them down.

And this is how it felt…

…when he stole home.

And this is what it felt like…

…when he kept hitting them over and over. 

And when he threw at me…

…it was a swing and a miss.

I tried to get a base on ball….

…oons, but that didn’t work. 

When I tried to slide into first base…

…it was a little like this…actually a lot like this.

Just when I get home and start to get comfortable…

…”Dad you wanna go outside and play baseball?”

A hidden camera of me…

…pitching to him. 

Just when I try to go inside…

…he pulls me back in. 

And when it is all over…

…all I want to do is flip the flip out and lay on the couch. 

So there you have it. The boy just does his best to make me look like a fool everyday, but what he doesn’t know is that I sabotage him and make MYSELF look like a fool. Tricks on him.

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Baseball Brand Ben

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21 thoughts on “Home run Bitter Giftures

  1. Pingback: Home run Bitter Giftures | World4Justice : NOW! Lobby Forum.

  2. Wait, can we back up? Your car doesn’t have air conditioning? I think your kid needs to develop his lung capacity as much as his muscles and bacne. He needs to ride in the car with you and blow on you to keep you cool from now on.

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    • Yeah, I got the basest model Chevy Caliber and it was such a steal, that perhaps someone stole it’s air conditioning too. Anyways, yeah, sounds like he needs to use his breath to keep me cool. But most of the time I am in car, it is to go to work while he stays home and sleep.

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