It's finally December, which as you know, means that it is finally time for awesome characters to come out of the woodwork, like Scrooge and the Grinch stealing Christmas and all kinds of evil villains in movies, like Boss who makes you stay late on Christmas Eve and Boyfriend who is a little too into … Continue reading The Bitter Scents of the Season
holidays
Nap and Food Bitter Friday Giftures
I believe that some people are taking this long Labor Day weekend off a little early by taking Friday off (jerks) and of course, that makes me bitter. There are a lot of reasons why you should not take off early, but I can't think of any. This means I will be stewing in my … Continue reading Nap and Food Bitter Friday Giftures
Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
I've been told by television that if you exercise and eat right for like a year, you will lose half your body weight. Your life will "be transformed", everyone will "fake" like you, and you will "find the person of your dreams" and you will get the "promotion you've been striving for", you will get … Continue reading Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
In case you missed it..because you were Tire-d
I screwed up. I messed up big time. I had an extra day and I blew it. I didn't treat yesterday like a Ferris Bueller's Day off. I didn't put every ounce of my laziness into making it the laziest day ever. I got up relatively early. I took a shower aaand used deodorant. I … Continue reading In case you missed it..because you were Tire-d
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In Case You Missed It…because you were trying to Save Mr. Banks
If anyone has seen the epic, Saving Mr. Banks, you've seen one of the bitterest characters in cinema history. No, I'm not talking about Walter Disney. The point of the movie wasn't about how P.L. Travers wrote this book about a nanny called Mary Poppins, but how she humiliated the Walt guy by telling him … Continue reading In Case You Missed It…because you were trying to Save Mr. Banks
The Bitter End…of the Year
Hey there, I'm Bitter Ben's Brain. I snuck on the blog here because well, I get bored a lot. As you might know, Bitter Ben doesn't use me a whole lot, and I realized that he hasn't done any year end posts. I know he never will, so I took it upon myself to do it for him … Continue reading The Bitter End…of the Year
In case you missed it…because you were playing with your shiny new toys
Lot's of people got shiny and new stuff in the last few days. Shininess and brightness can be distracting as babies and cats know. Even I get distracted by laser pointers. I've been known to chase them from time to time (meaning always). By chase I mean with my eyes. And by lasers I mean … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were playing with your shiny new toys
Bitter Anticipation
It is days like this, the day after a vacation, holiday or break when I don't feel like working, moving or even breathing, or days like this that feel like a combination of the listlessness of Monday, the overwhelmingness of Tuesday, and the desperation of Thursday, that I realize why I am such a bitter time off anticipator. Call … Continue reading Bitter Anticipation
A Bitter Christmas to All, and To All a Bitter Christmas
Come on in, there's plenty of room. Have a seat by the fire. Arizonians and Brazilians with your shorts and T-shirts, you are in the corner, where the bitter draft comes in. North Dakotians, Russians and Canadians(and other northerners) with your parkas that could keep you warm in Anarctica, keep your thermal gloves, thermal underwear and your earmuffs on … Continue reading A Bitter Christmas to All, and To All a Bitter Christmas
Friday Bitter Pictures – Naughty List Edition
He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've good or bad, so be good for goodness sake. Stalker! So you watch me sleep? Did the NSA put you up to this? Sounds like you should be on the naughty list! It's that day of the week where we get … Continue reading Friday Bitter Pictures – Naughty List Edition
In case you missed it…because you were out shopping
Shopping at this time of year is like entering the gladitorial arena of ancient Shoptopolis. Avoid it at all costs. If you want to survive take a little advice and do it the lazy way like me. Get out your computer, log-in, and read Ben's Bitter Blog. Oh, if you want to get shopping done, … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were out shopping
Friday Picture Busy Bitterness
For some reason this time of year seems to be busier than almost every other time of the year. There seems to be all kinds of parties, get togethers, gatherings at malls, and tidings of bitter cheer on Facebook. How is a guy supposed to slack off at work when more people seem to be demanding that things … Continue reading Friday Picture Busy Bitterness
The Bitter Ben Holiday Variety Hour and a Half Special
Remember gathering around the Tube of many colors as a family when you were a kid? Remember those old Holiday Special Variety Shows that celebrities did on television where they would decorate a tree or have a snowball fight(I especially enjoyed when the snowball fight went just a little too far) or sat around opening presents? All so they had the excuse to sing Holiday … Continue reading The Bitter Ben Holiday Variety Hour and a Half Special
In case you missed it…You were out in the cold
I understand there was a cold front that came your way this week. Cold air was blasted, wind blew, snow flew. That seemed like a good excuse to be left out in the cold on the bitter happenings on the blog this week. On the other hand, some of you live in California, Texas … Continue reading In case you missed it…You were out in the cold
Bitter Gift Friday Pictures
It's that time of year when having lots of friends and family really doesn't pay off. The dreaded, "Oh man, I have to get a gift for that person that is considered my friend, but I barely talk to him? Oh my gosh, he got me a gift and now I have to go and … Continue reading Bitter Gift Friday Pictures
Bittersauraus Rexstinction
If you have been to a crappy kid movie lately, then you were probably forced to see previews of even more crappy kid movies, thus perpetuating the amount of kid movies that you will see in the future. The only way out of that cycle is to be a crappy parent like me and tell them no. One … Continue reading Bittersauraus Rexstinction
If you missed it…you were probably in a tryptophan coma
A long time ago (a whole Thursday ago), you went to someone's house that didn't like you, and you didn't like them, but you were forced to because they insisted that you not sit at home alone blissfully playing video games or laying on the couch. You drove three hours to get to their house, … Continue reading If you missed it…you were probably in a tryptophan coma
Bitter Dreams Toy Company
When I am asked to give a speech at seminars, usually as the Principal of the B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness, I don't prepare. A long time ago, I would pore over notes, walk around talking to myself and even have dillusions of more than my parents clapping at a rousing speech that I would give. Then … Continue reading Bitter Dreams Toy Company
In case you missed it…This will help you forget
Don't you hate when you forget something? For me, it is either my wallet, phone, keys, 3DS, or that today is Monday. You on the other hand, may have forgotten to read some of my bitter posts. Here is my unhandy guide to going back into the past and doing something you will regret. I … Continue reading In case you missed it…This will help you forget
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