Don’t you hate when you forget something? For me, it is either my wallet, phone, keys, 3DS, or that today is Monday.
You on the other hand, may have forgotten to read some of my bitter posts. Here is my unhandy guide to going back into the past and doing something you will regret.
I did some posts:
I did a post about something I’m really unfamiliar with. Exercise. In fact, I actually had to look up how to spell it, I’m so unfamiliar. As far as it goes for me, walking up a flight of stair is enough. So you can imagine how pushing a kid on a plasma bike would have been. I was icing my knees for weeks.
Because of that exercise my pain hasn’t gone away. When I was 20 somehow pain used to go away. Now, only when I take a heavy painkiller called Aleve does it go away for about 20 minutes. You know what else doesn’t go away? Well, a lot of things that you don’t think about as told in my rant worthy post Bitter Things that Won’t Go Away. If you’ve never read any of my posts, this is the one I would highly recommend as one that would show my ranting at its best(or worst depending on you bitterness level).
Then along came Friday and like a kid you know who does stupid stuff every day at the same time, I did something predictable. Some would call that a regular feature on a blog, something to look forward to. I would call it laziness and a way to get out of doing a post about something that makes me bitter. But, as you know, I don’t care. So read this weekly (or weakly) throwaway post Unlucky Friday Picture Bitterness, so I can finally get my syndicated talk show I haven’t been dreaming about, that gets cancelled after one week, but gives me money in perpetuity every time someone thinks about bitterness(Imana copyright this thing).
I tweeted horribly about random stuff this week:
People complained about my bitterly written posts:
On Exercise Bitterness:
“You might want to add in eye-rolls or teeth sucks so that you can better show your utter disgust with what transpires around you….” The drunken Cyclist
“One exercise I really love is called deep breathing. I sit still and really focus on expanding my lungs and “engaging my core and obliques.” (I have no idea what that entails, but I hear it a lot).” Katie
“I have one called deep-frying, it entails a little bit of extra effort, but it’s totally worth it, and you even add food to it, which is the best part!” Clever Girl Eats
On Bitter Things that Won’t Go Away:
“Papa Murphy’s can suck it. They are located adjacent to our grocery store, which has an entire freezer full of pizza two dollars cheaper than PM’s, which I also can just take home and bake. (If there weren’t a Domino’s on the way home full of hot, real pizza.) Maybe I should just open a store w/ bread and meat and lettuce and throw it in a bag and let them “take and make” their own sandwich at home like a peon. BTW, I was just at said grocery store and as I left, it started pouring rain, and sweet Yeezus, it is COLD out there! Like the heat hasn’t stopped running all day. Is that what Seattle feels like? It doesn’t make one want to venture out.” Kerbey
“We are hoping to go to Disneyland in February. I’m preparing to be homeless after. ” Perfection Pending
“I think Garfield needs to make a comeback and kick Mickey Mouse to the curb. At least he takes on the world with sarcasm.” Prosewithabbitude
On Unlucky Friday Picture Bitterness:
“If only my bitter beard and mustache looked like Belle’s! Movember is almost over and only my black mustache stands out! – Brickhouse Chick
“All I know is that my rabbit is really glad you don’t believe in good luck. He doesn’t have to worry about losing a paw if you visit.” Cat9984
“…if the glass is looking empty, somebody needs a refill. i say….” Lisa Sawyer Johnson
Bonus Pictures were found:
That’s where my car ended up:
A surefire way to do math:
How I feel about YouTube and Google Plus:
Don’t you hate it when you lock your keys in your ignition?

Okay got my Ipod, my phone, my wallet. Alright, close the door. Okay, let do this moon thing. Wait my keys…oh crap.
May your week with your families or sitting alone at the Ihop be as bitter as ever.
Arrrrgggghhhhh
Bitter Forgetful Ben
Related articles
- If you missed bitterness this week, your aim was a little off (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- In case you got lost on the internet highway and didn’t find your way to Bitter Street.. (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- In case you missed it…I’m blogging home alone (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
Pingback: Friday Pictures – The Clever Edition | Ben's Bitter Blog
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Loved the tweets. Especially the first two you listed. XD
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You are one of the few that read them, so thanks for that.
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Well, you’re hilarious, so thanks for that. 😉
I hope you have an extremely fantastic Thanksgiving, Ben. (Also that it gives you a crapton [the ‘nice’ version of the usual non-word] of ammo for your blog. After all . . . if you can’t be bitter about the holidays, what CAN you be bitter about?)
🙂
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Already a crapton for my blog. Black Friday is a bitter gold mine of Bitterness.
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I’m getting ready to check out the Black Friday picture one now. Can’t wait! XD
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Just a bunch of Pictures and gifs. Nothing special there.
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Pictures and the moving-picture doodads can be pretty special. 🙂
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They sure make some posts come together. They are worth a thousand words right?
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If a picture is worth a thousand words, how many do the moving ones count for?
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9456. It’s been scientifically and mathmatically not proven at all.
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Sounds like a pretty good number to me. 😀
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Perfect guess by a math hater like me.
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I, also, am a math-hater.
I hates it so much.
>.<
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If it wasn’t so intregral to the universe itself I would work harder on banning it from schools.
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Integral is a bit….LOOSE there, I think.
Obviously that’s debatable (me saying it’s not integral, which it clearly is). I just hate it. A lot.
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You know what? Let’s just ban it. I don’t care how much the universe needs it.
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Sounds like a good idea to me. XD
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😀
Thanks for the plug!
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Who doesn’t want to hear about a bitter food critic?
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The only difference ‘tix you and the bitterly cold weather here in Chi town is I’m not laughing at the weather.
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I can’t stand the weather there. I was in SD and it was hideous.
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Yeah we know there’s no pleasing you…
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You got that right. No pleasing me.
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You’re not eating the right kind of apples. Try a pink lady.
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I prefer sour or bitter apples.
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Yeah, I think that’s the issue.
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I am coming up for air from drowning in college applications and financial aid forms for my daughter! I am VERY BITTER about this. I already went to college, why do I have to go through this again (I just did it with my son 2 yrs ago). I am bitter about all the questions on the financial aid forms I have to answer so that in the end they give us NO MONEY! Arghhhh! I’d like to have Amnesia right now.
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I would say make your daughter do it. I can’t wait to be just middle class enough to not get my kids financial aid.
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There is no middle class anymore!! You either got it or you don’t. 😦
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We don’t.
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I’m so glad that you posted this. I fear I have blog Alzheimer or retrograde amnesia….
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I have amnesia in general so I forget everything.
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A Twitter comedian’s worst nightmare isn’t a groan but silence. So thanks a lot..—
Ben Gardner (@Benadman) November 24, 2013 — >> even worse is and unfollow 🙂
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It seems like the other day I had like 500. Now I’m down to 100. But that’s how many Louis CK has right?
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🙂 Yep they are all spam pots no one is on twitter that much… right?
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Oh, I guess that means I have no followers except my mom. And she never uses twitter.
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Then who is that woman?!!!
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She’s a mombot.
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I’m really glad you posted this. My new job has been keeping me away from the blogging world (which makes me bitter) and I would have hated to miss all this.
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I was wondering if you were able to comment on stuff anymore. That job may not be the one for you, if it doesn’t let you blog all the time.
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It’s a lot harder to comment and keep up with everyone else’s blogs now. But I’m only just starting my second week. I’m sure I figure out a schedule eventually.
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Wow a new job shouldn’t do that. Do I need to have an evil word with your new boss?
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Haha maybe. But I’ve got a few evil plans myself…
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I figure you are taking care of things evil style at work.
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Of course!
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Yeah I literally could not have waken up to be more dumbfounded that it is Monday. Like who turned on that damn alarm, its dark outside !
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The light hasn’t been a very good indicator of when we are supposed to wake up lately.
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Its a universal sign to hibernate and sleep. Somebody tell the boss man to just give me my direct deposit
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That is what bosses are for right? To send us our checks for not working so we can pay the bills for staying home all day right?
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Alright, fine. I’ll even opt to do the paper work. Designate the checks and all. Oh gee, what work
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I’ll just cash the checks and spend the money online while laying on the couch.
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I share your exercise bitterness. I began substitute teaching four weeks ago. Last Tuesday I accepted a position as special ed gym teacher. I was a gym sub previously and all went well from the sidelines. But for special ed I had to participate. It was the most fun and rewarding assignment I’ve had so far, but I had to take the next two days off. My legs and butt were so sore I couldn’t move!
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I hate when people (in this case, my kids) make you participate.
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Your car looks a lot like Kent Brockman’s car.
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Kent Brockman stole it from me.
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if you take 2 alleve will pain go away for 40 minutes?
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I don’t know. Math makes me cry.
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you don’t have to cry; i already did the math for you.
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I had to help this nine year old kid figure out how much garbage the people of the US throw out every year. My head exploded.
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i’m sure it did.was it your kid?
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yep that kid.
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you have to help that kid. why are the homework questions so stupid?
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cause i guess they want help figuring out the garbage crisis.
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we have a garbage crisis?
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Yeah I do. I don’t want to live in a dump.
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do you want to live in a rump ? of roast
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No rumps please.
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okay camel hump? tree stump?tower of trump?
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trump tower.
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darn narcisist that trump . he’s always going bankrupt & making me lose money on stock
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Thank you for promoting my deep breathing workout plan. I think it’s the next Crossfit.
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There are at least two people using it now. That constitutes a revolution right?
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i want to ask you about your bitterness and where does one get a bumpersticker like that?
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From the Simpsons apparantly. That is that news guy Kent Brockman’s car. So bitter that he has it.
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really, well it looks like ken owes you some money too, just like goooogle.
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I should be rich soon without having to do anything. The job I’ve been aspiring to my whole life.
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that’s a good job… a good dream to have
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i’m doing it all except the part where I’m getting money for it.
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that will come you will be living high on the hog
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more like high on the bacon.
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can you be high on the sausage?
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bacon is better.
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i wouldn’t know, but if it’s a kevin i guess it is
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he’s a weirdo.
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his wife is on tnt tnt tnt.
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She is kind of a weirdo too, but not near as much as him.
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i like her on tnt tnt tnt…porque did she leave her show?
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The show left her. It ended.
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somebody left somebody but the show is still on. i watched 12 hours monday . they just changed the name to major cases .. the new season started at 9 pm monday.
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That would be what we call a spin off, which usually doesn’t take the major character with them. Just sayin.
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is it a spin off really, b/c it’s the same exact show,in the same exact place it’s just she retired to atlanta …it isn’t like all in the family where maud spinned off into her own show
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but really just a spin off.
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i think she spinned off to altanta.. i don’t think 1 person leaving & changing the name should qualify as a spin off when it’s the same darn show…okay her husband left too & he is in a show now where he is spun off into another law enforcement official
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still a spinoff.
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if you want it to be, you can make it that way.
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