Losing is a way of life for a bitter person. From the very start I found a way to turn almost sure wins into bitter defeats. Before my arms were able to do anything but move around spastically like a Saturday Morning Cartoon, my mom would pretend to feed me stuff that looked like pudding, but … Continue reading Friday Giftures Losing
Fiction
President’s Day Bitterness
For 13 years now, or basically every year since I started working at my current job that I hate, the worst day of every year is one that you wouldn't expect. It is the day after President's Day and it is for particular reasons. 1. It is about a month and a half before our … Continue reading President’s Day Bitterness
In case you missed it…Because you were busy becoming a Bitter All-Star
As you know, it is NBA All-Star Weekend and it is all about millionaires celebrating how great they are. They work really hard at not playing defense, lazily dunking on each other and trying to outdo each other to prove who is the Alpha Male of all Alpha Males in world of basketball. Because you … Continue reading In case you missed it…Because you were busy becoming a Bitter All-Star
The Bitter Gravity of Friday Giftures
Gravity has been working hard this week. Snow had been pressing down on the east coast; skiers, snowboarders and curlers have fought it miserably in a place called Sochi, and gravity has even claimed billions of dollars from wallets on Valentine's Day crap. Luckily, the old guy on those H&R Block commercials is going to give me all my … Continue reading The Bitter Gravity of Friday Giftures
In case you missed it…Cause you were busy ignoring me all week
This week I spent a lot time and effort writing words and putting pictures on this blog in order to make sure people were completely ignoring me and they didn't disappoint. First, I typed some nonsensical words about Lego's and the Lego Movie and how they are so stupid, that they are only good for … Continue reading In case you missed it…Cause you were busy ignoring me all week
Lego Bitterness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtu62Gklgso When I was in my formative toy playing years (1973-1987 uh...2014), I was a huge, unapologetic Transformer fanboy. No need to be a hater or jealous. I would probably still have a Generation 1 Optimus Prime in mint condition in the box(worth $550 on ebay) had I not pulled Optimus Prime out of the … Continue reading Lego Bitterness
In Case you Missed It…Because you were trying to find something Super to watch this week
Clearly there is nothing on TV tonight, especially if you are looking for some Sunday night football related television programming. I think there is an animal show about some horses and a bird from the sea, and then later there was someone playing from Mars and a red hot chili peppers eating contest somewhere, but … Continue reading In Case you Missed It…Because you were trying to find something Super to watch this week
Face Punching Bitter Friday Pictures
If this week had a face I would punch it. Co-workers talking to me, bosses demanding I do actual work, drivers on the freeway asking that I pay attention to the road at least 25% of the time...It has been brutal. Since I have no boxing experience and never got into any brawls other than the one where someone punched … Continue reading Face Punching Bitter Friday Pictures
Bitter Failure Friday Pictures
This week has been nothing but failures all around. For instance, today should be Saturday and I've been having a case of clinomania. I mentioned moving earlier in the week to a new building for work. Everything related to that went as bitterly as possible. It's too hot here, the water isn't hot enough to use in my oatmeal, my back … Continue reading Bitter Failure Friday Pictures
In Case You Missed It…because you were trying to Save Mr. Banks
If anyone has seen the epic, Saving Mr. Banks, you've seen one of the bitterest characters in cinema history. No, I'm not talking about Walter Disney. The point of the movie wasn't about how P.L. Travers wrote this book about a nanny called Mary Poppins, but how she humiliated the Walt guy by telling him … Continue reading In Case You Missed It…because you were trying to Save Mr. Banks
2014 Retrospective and Friday Giftures
It's been a crazy year, 2014, and I think that today, January 10th is a good time to reflect back on what a crappy year it was. I can barely remember any good movies, music, or quite frankly moments at all. Like I guess New Year's was an okay day because I didn't have to … Continue reading 2014 Retrospective and Friday Giftures
Bitterness for Dummies
Take a seat everyone, class is about to begin at the B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness, Bitterness for Dummies class. I realize that there are a lot of newcomers to WordPress, because it is January and that is the time to start a new blog "for one of your resolutions". I imagine most of your blogs will be abandoned in … Continue reading Bitterness for Dummies
The Pressures of Fitting Out
I know you've all been suffering through the really cold cold out there, for which you should be really bitter, but not near as much as me. This guy right here, with the two thumbs pointing up at him, had to go outside yesterday and start my car early. Then I had to use the scraper thing to get a thin … Continue reading The Pressures of Fitting Out
In case you missed it…because you were busy breaking your resolutions
It's 2014. Isn't it about time Marty McFly is supposed to come to Hill Valley and change something around so this place sucks much better? Shouldn't I be required to wear two ties and Skype with my terrible boss at work? Is the internet really the only highway in the sky instead of the flying … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were busy breaking your resolutions
A Bitter Christmas to All, and To All a Bitter Christmas
Come on in, there's plenty of room. Have a seat by the fire. Arizonians and Brazilians with your shorts and T-shirts, you are in the corner, where the bitter draft comes in. North Dakotians, Russians and Canadians(and other northerners) with your parkas that could keep you warm in Anarctica, keep your thermal gloves, thermal underwear and your earmuffs on … Continue reading A Bitter Christmas to All, and To All a Bitter Christmas
The Bitter Ben Holiday Variety Hour and a Half Special
Remember gathering around the Tube of many colors as a family when you were a kid? Remember those old Holiday Special Variety Shows that celebrities did on television where they would decorate a tree or have a snowball fight(I especially enjoyed when the snowball fight went just a little too far) or sat around opening presents? All so they had the excuse to sing Holiday … Continue reading The Bitter Ben Holiday Variety Hour and a Half Special
In case you missed it…You were out in the cold
I understand there was a cold front that came your way this week. Cold air was blasted, wind blew, snow flew. That seemed like a good excuse to be left out in the cold on the bitter happenings on the blog this week. On the other hand, some of you live in California, Texas … Continue reading In case you missed it…You were out in the cold
Bittersauraus Rexstinction
If you have been to a crappy kid movie lately, then you were probably forced to see previews of even more crappy kid movies, thus perpetuating the amount of kid movies that you will see in the future. The only way out of that cycle is to be a crappy parent like me and tell them no. One … Continue reading Bittersauraus Rexstinction
The Personal Space Debate Bitterness
As the rise in popularity of comic book movies like the Green Lantern, Daredevil and Ghost Rider, bitter debates have naturally occured between the different heroes and superheroes. Blogs, Facebook and Twitter are aflutter about the merits of what hero is better at what. Who is more devil-like, Daredevil or Ghost Rider? Who is greener, Green Lantern … Continue reading The Personal Space Debate Bitterness
If you missed it…you were probably in a tryptophan coma
A long time ago (a whole Thursday ago), you went to someone's house that didn't like you, and you didn't like them, but you were forced to because they insisted that you not sit at home alone blissfully playing video games or laying on the couch. You drove three hours to get to their house, … Continue reading If you missed it…you were probably in a tryptophan coma
Ben's Bitter Blog 