I am in the middle of an epic struggle called it's the hottest time of the year here, and we have no air conditioning. I was used to that in Seattle, because it never got over 55 degrees there, but here it has been between 95 and like 2000 degrees hotter than sun. I … Continue reading You broke my smolder Friday Giftures
Fiction
Nothing listens to me anymore
You probably think because I type so many words on blog posts 3-5 times a week, that I talk a lot. Nope. I am a bitterman of few words. I choose to keep all my thoughts and ideas bottled up, so I can one day explode. Either that or I write them here, so that … Continue reading Nothing listens to me anymore
No So Real Estate
I've never been a big fan of real estate. Seems like land shouldn't really cost as much as people are pricing it at. What the frick is land anyways? A bunch of dirt and grass and insects who were probably there first and probably paid a lot of money to their insect landlords only to … Continue reading No So Real Estate
The Bitter Ben Extended Benematic Universe
Did you know Spiderman just came out this weekend? The 15th new one since last Spiderman movie. I've heard it is good or whatever and of course I'm going to go see it, because I'm a sucker and sitting in a cool, dark theater doing nothing beats being in a lighted cool workplace any day. … Continue reading The Bitter Ben Extended Benematic Universe
Power out Friday Giftures
Of course we lose power in the middle of the summer. We have the worst luck in the world (or at least my own world) when it comes to losing power. We used to lose it all the time in Seattle. Any time a tree swayed or a slight wind picked up, you could count … Continue reading Power out Friday Giftures
Video Games Toughest Boss Battle
Last night when I was playing video games, I was having a tough go of it. It wasn't that I was having a particularly hard time against the enemies I was facing. By now, I've destroyed thousands of them using my many techniques, tactics and weapons. I know their tendencies like I know bitterness. It … Continue reading Video Games Toughest Boss Battle
Bendependence Day
Tomorrow in the U.S.A., it is one of our biggest holidays, so much so that they don't let us have an entire week off, but just one day. The best part is that it is holiday where you are almost required to stay up late, because it doesn't get dark until like 9:30 pm, and … Continue reading Bendependence Day
Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
I've always been a closet claustrophobic. And by closet, I mean I hate being in closets because they are cramped. On the other hand, most people are afraid of heights, which I am not. No, I've never been on the top of Mt. Killaminjaro or whatever, but I used to climb on my roof … Continue reading Hot Air Balloon Gifture post
900 Bitter Posts
Just the other day, I was thinking, "Geez, it seems like I've written like a thousand posts." And like always, I was wrong. I wasn't even close. Apparently, I've been slacking, which you know is pretty much my trademark. I have written 900 posts now. I'm sure you all think that if you've written that … Continue reading 900 Bitter Posts
My life as a Bagel
You might know that my favorite food is pizza. If you don't, you've never met me, have never read one of my blog posts, or really don't pay attention to me at all. I realize that within those three categories that is about 99.9999999999% of the population, but it is really hard to not know … Continue reading My life as a Bagel
BitterFest 2018
I'm on Instagram from time to time and all I see are all these things that stupid people are doing. Like active things, out doing stuff, going places. Obviously we need more people to just take pictures of themselves just sitting down, doing lazy things. As I wrote in a previous post, I am going … Continue reading BitterFest 2018
Wedded Blister’s Friday Giftures
Is it just me or are weddings the worst? I was involved in one in which I was one of the main characters and that was bad enough. I had to wear formal things, I had to attend this all day event in which people were making a fuss about me, and I had to … Continue reading Wedded Blister’s Friday Giftures
You Can’t Stop Me
I was just reading a bunch of reviews of the newest Transformer movie, The Last Knight. The reviews ranged from "worst movie of the year" to "this movie will make us all dumber for having seen it". You would think that somehow these terrible reviews would somehow stop me from going to see it. You … Continue reading You Can’t Stop Me
I’m getting really Tired of this
About 3 years ago, we bought a car. Not only because I am super lazy and don't like to walk to places, but also because our other car decided that it needed to drop the transmission for some reason. I'm not smarty, but I know that when your transmission drops, you will also be dropping...lots … Continue reading I’m getting really Tired of this
The Longest Time of the Year for Bitter Bloggers
It just heard that today is the longest day of the year. That means that people are out celebrating. I keep hearing this promotion about making this the longest day of golf, by playing 18 holes of golf in two locations. That is just crazy talk. Why would people want to spend time outside all … Continue reading The Longest Time of the Year for Bitter Bloggers
Advantage: Oblivious
There is a lot of crap going on in the world. I think. See for the last 10 months or so, I have had this weird phenomenon going on in my life. On August 3rd of last year, midway through the Olympics, I called Comcast and said, "Hey dudes, we are leaving. We are selling … Continue reading Advantage: Oblivious
Summer Bitter, Summer Worse Friday Giftures
I'm what the Germans would call a Schadenfreudener or however they spell it. I like to see other people bitter. It was the reason I started this blog and this life so many years ago. I have ambition in being inambitious. I want to spread the word while laying on the couch. I want … Continue reading Summer Bitter, Summer Worse Friday Giftures
Sit at home Pro
Even though Father's Day is like months away or something, I got a present I have been wanting for a while now. I've been saving up favors from Christmas, my birthday, and getting a job congratulations gift, so I could bundle all those into this one present. I got a GoPro. It is so amazingly … Continue reading Sit at home Pro
How I survived 3 hours without an Electronic Device
Spoiler Warning: I didn't. I died and somehow ended up in the most bitter purgatory that exists. Unluckily, I am now forced to tell you my oh so bitter tale of how I was forced to make it three whole hours without an electronic device. Some earthbound person will break into my account and type … Continue reading How I survived 3 hours without an Electronic Device
There should be more Lines Friday Giftures
No, I'm not talking about standing in lines for something stupid like movies or concerts or donuts. I'm talking about roads. I know some of them appear straight, but they aren't straight enough. I mean there should be a road that goes directly from where I am to my front door at all times. Why … Continue reading There should be more Lines Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 