You probably think because I type so many words on blog posts 3-5 times a week, that I talk a lot. Nope. I am a bitterman of few words. I choose to keep all my thoughts and ideas bottled up, so I can one day explode. Either that or I write them here, so that you might question my sanity.
Although I mostly don’t talk to people because it takes so much effort, a big reason why I don’t is because people don’t listen. I could have a life changing idea, or a really dumb idea, and they just don’t care. What really fries my noodle, is that some people talk just to talk. That is insanity to me, until I had my son. He will literally sit in a room playing video games and be his own commentary. I don’t know how or why he does it, but most of it is pure babble. When I choose to speak, I weight each word and syllable in my mind to see if they actually need to be said, and if they aren’t of the world changing variety, or need to be said to get someone to stop talking to me, I don’t say them.
I get that people don’t listen to me, but what baffles me is that things don’t listen to me. Take for instance my TV. For years, I’ve been yelling at my TV for the Spurs to run the pick and roll and they seem to run the give and go. I tell the girl in the scary movie not to go into that room, and still she goes. I tell the girl to avoid that lawyer type like the plague, but for some reason she keeps ignoring my advice. The worst is when I keep telling them to stop making Marvel movies and they just keep making them.
Wow, some cameras do their jobs.
The other day, I asked my camera to take a picture and it kept just ignoring me. I might be because the power was off, but I asked it politely to turn on, and it just kept staring at me like a rebellious teenager. I’m going to be getting enough of that soon. I don’t need my camera to be watching YouTube all day and not even doing it’s one job I keep asking it to do.
The other day I asked the Gears of War game not to have glitches and spotty wi-fe all for 20 stinking minutes. Do you know how it responded to me? Glitches, spottiness, and quite frankly, a little snottiness.
This morning, I woke up, asked the shower to warm up to a reasonable temperature. Do you know what it did? Gave a me cold bitter stare. Didn’t warm up to me at all. And when I finally got out, I just sat there, steaming. I swear, these showers just have a mind of their own.
I’m getting a little tired of being ignored by all these things.
The worst of all, is I asked my computer to type an entertaining post for everyone to read this morning. And do you know what it did? Gave me this crap. If I had any more time, I would give this computer computer a full virus scan for all the trouble it has been causing me. Don’t make me do it computer.
Alright, fine. I’m doing it. And this whole post is getting erased. That will teach you not to listen to me.
ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHH
Bitter Listeners Ben
Crap he uploaded the post before I could delete it. Stupid computer.
Ben's Bitter Blog 
All I know is that I am a brilliant conversationalist. I once said “Hello” to a colleague and inspired him to launch into a forty-five minute monologue.
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I am a good conversationalist, but only with objects, not people. I love screaming at my car, at my radio, and my TV, and not so much people.
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When my alarm wakes me up for work, I tell it to shut up, but it insists in doing its job. Other machines I have do not operate as they should, but the alarm clock is invincible, just my luck.
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Freaking alarm clocks. You would think it would stop working after a while, with the boringness of its job.
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I guess that I realize I am not the only one who thinks that no one or nothing cares anymore.
Other people would (try to) tell me what to do. Machines would tell me what to do. Even my mind would tell me what to do. But, I tell all of them to back off. I then follow my heart which leads me the right and happy way.
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I know right? My mind can be such a bully sometimes. Most of the time I don’t listen to him and it gets me in trouble.
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Good reason why the heart exists. It takes you somewhere you want to be.
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Yeah, mine keeps making me do my blog and make videos.
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Oh my stars, our sons should get together for a play date. I wonder daily how a 4 year old can talk so damn much. He never ever shuts the hell up.
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I know, I don’t know what to do with him. We have three introverts in our house and then we have him. We are all just wanting to be left alone for the most part and then we have mister babbling brook.
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My cousin is just like your son, talks to fill the silence. Also words can’t even begin to fathom how much I love this post.
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I just don’t know how they can go on and on like that, but they are extroverts, so that is where they get their energy. So we are left to hear them babble all day while we get to fight for our silence.
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It’s cute that they think we’re “lonely”, so they try to keep us company by talking about anything and everything.
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Seriously, why say all those things when none of them mean anything. There’s such a thing as keeping a thought to yourself.
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I’m not a talkative person at all, and most mistaken me as a shy or odd person. I tell my family that I will never have kids, and mainly it’s because I don’t have the patience or time. I love my time, so you could say I’m a bit selfish. I’m 23 years old and I don’t party, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, but what I love to do most is spend time alone. Not talking to anyone, because for me that is exhausting and somewhat nerve wrecking. I also get annoyed easily by people who talk way too much, after a bit I just shut down and hope they don’t ask me “are you listening?”. So I get where you’re coming from, and it’s nice to know that some people view this as normal.
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It’s totally normal. We are called introverts. We like our alone time, but our friends the extroverts think we are shy, or whatever. What they don’t understand is that we need to be away from people and when we do have something to say it is because it is important and worthwhile instead of just jabbering.
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My partner and his children will all be playing the same video game, at the same time, and are all narrating their own actions or making their own theme music up or whatever at the same time with no one noticing everyone else is also making massive amounts of noise for no reason. It makes me want to brutally murder them all with their own arms. I don’t understand it at all. I’m glad someone else sees that as the oddness that it is.
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My son would fit right in that group. He would also be there, making his own commentary and not knowing the others were there, and they wouldn’t notice him either.
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Yup. They would have no issue adding to the chaos. No one would notice a difference at all.
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It would be fun to film and make into a YouTube video.
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I someone’s think I’m the only one unaware we’re being filmed for a really odd reality show. Come on and bring your little gamer. We’ll video the insanity and have a channel dedicated to the weirdos who play and talk and talk and talk.
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So many bitter questions, so little bitter lime to go in my vodka+tonic. Here are a few scientific sounding questions, to answer, or bitterly ignore:
1) -how many thoughts ideas can a bottle hold before it explodes? (~168 psi)
2) -“sanity?” baaahahahahahahhaaaaaa!!
3) -a)what is the weight of a word? b) of a syllable? Is that in grams or pounds? does it depend on the speaker’s desired purpose?
4) -people do what?
5) -ever yell at commercials, random people, dogs, to shut the hell up? ever yell at inanimate objects for not doing what you want instead of just obeying the laws of physics? do they ignore you like they ignore me? how does that make you feel?
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1 – My head explodes all the time. There is an inordinate amount that gets all over in the shower, due to all the shower thoughts that never escape there.
2 – Sanity is for sane people. Uhhh, and Insanity is for insane people. Call me Commander Obvious.
3 – The weight of words is pretty heavy. I must be carrying them on the stomach area.
4 – People do a lot of things. They really need to stop and rest all the time like me.
5 – I do all the time, but I yell at the TV way more, especially when sports are on, and my team is failing to follow my misguided directions.
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It did not disappear. I am just a rookie! You have to approve them. Of course. Sorry! I’m trying! Just kinda slapped myself. LOL!!!!! So then disregard response 2 and this one hahahahah!!!!!!
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I am also a rookie of WordPress, of 5 years. I still don’t know simple things like how to get my brilliant posts to post and always my garbage posts that do get posted. So weird how that works.
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sickening, right? my brilliant posts self-delete, and the crap always lands right out there for the whole world to mock and deride.
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I’m getting a little sick of my brilliant posts always getting lost. And somehow my crappiest stuff becoming self aware and posting whenever it feels like it.
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I JUST WROTE THE MOST AMAZING DAMN RESPONSE TO THIS POST. AND IT DISAPPEARED INTO THIN AIR! WHY CAN’T STUPID PEOPLE DISAPPEAR AND *NOT* MY amazing comment responses. Excuse me while I CURSE the Apple Gods because I detest this Macbook. Bitter Ben- my eloquent response is gone with the wind. But it was a rant about how people will NEVER appreciate the work that gets put in by people who choose their words wisely. Wisely is just too poetic and deep for the common human brain. That is why I choose to infuse my blog with my soul. Because no one will ever understand this level of darkness if I had to represent it with spoken words. People never listen. But sometimes they read. and then they’re all like OH DAMN… I DIDN’T KNOW HOW DEEP YOU WERE. Yea well no shit! That’s because your head is too far up your OK I think you get my point!
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It was an amazing comment. Which is funny, because the post was really dumb and not deep at all. So thanks for having a blog that is deep and worthy of a listen. Let me just point people your way. Hey everyone, go read shegivesnofox for actual good advice. She does amazing comments that get lost in computers. Or they just need to wait to get approved.
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literally made me laugh out loud. I needed this today. THANK YOU!
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Well you know how a comment can make your day. I wish I could make your day bitter, but I fail a lot.
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Lmfao!!! So clever
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Not as clever as a fox…
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My stalker (aka my neighbours’ cat) won’t ever listen to me 😦
Him and the rest of the world!
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I know right? Though cats never listen. They always pretend they are just deaf. And then get fir all over the place.
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Oh Lord, don’t remind me 😦 Tommy (the cat) is shedding. Just one LOOK at him and there’s hair everywhere! Good thing we don’t allow him inside our house D:
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Yeah, that is a great idea. I won’t allow any cats in our house, especially after having to cat sit for my sister and her shed heavy cats.
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Tommy always gets my knees all hairy by rubbing against them. But he’s so cute it’s hard to get mad at him.
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I can always find a way to get mad at people that rub hair all over me. Though hair is one of my pet peeves. Even the top of my head doesn’t like it that much.
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I hate loose hairs, so imagine how I feel each time I clean a shower drain from my clients 😦
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Oh, my gosh. I tell my daughter I’m not afraid of heights, or dogs, but when it comes to hair, I cower in fear of it.
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Oh, joy. Oh, bliss. Have I found another very bitter Spurs fan? Of course I’m more bitter about people talking to me. For instance, every day at my job at least 40 people say things to me. Is that necessary? This isn’t crap. It could be the new Twainism.
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Yep, bitter Spurs fan here, though we have little to be bitter about. I mean like 36 years of winning? What is wrong with us? Oh yeah, also ONLY 5 championships. What up with that?
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Don’t worry, Siri still loves you.
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She still loves me, but she doesn’t listen just like everyone and everything else.
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Hah! I think our showers might be cousins, or something. Let me know if you find a way to get its attention… I am tired of washing myself with a sweater on!
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I think maybe we need to get them together for the shower family reunion.
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Nahh… too complicated! Plus, I don’t think they deserve to spend quality time laughing in our backs! LOL
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Of course they don’t. The problem is they are too emotional. Always either hot or cold. Never really in the middle anywhere.
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Amen! And what’s with this weird relationship with toilets, anyway? The rare times they seem to be willing to give “warm”, they’ll just blame the neighbour for turning fecking boiling!
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I know right? Why do toilet like to steal the warm water from the shower? They must be bitter rivals, or they are bitter toward humans who are just leaving all their stink all over the place.
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Not only “why” but “how”??? If they can steal warm water what’s stopping them from stealing kitchen drawers’ knives and other pointy stuff?
I am starting to feel unsafe now….
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Or water from the sink, or make a huge mess into the water in the fridge that makes the ice. Oh, toilet you are the sneakiest.
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I listened. I read. You are normal Bitter Ben….unless I am abnormal too ha ha! Have a lovely weekend and continue to be bitter 😃
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I’m just disgusted that my stuff never listens to me. Also people don’t listen to me. So I guess no one listens except maybe my blog followers?
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For sure we listen ha ha! 😊
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My kids always say they are listening but then they just ignore me and move on.
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It is all in the subconscious mind….rest assured😉
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Yeah, I’m sure someday they will come back to me and say that they were listening intently. MMMM probably not.
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Maybe you should get one of those things I see on TV, where the folks say, “Alexa, do this or that.” and this smooth, superior voice says she did it. I mean, I don’t know, she may not have actually done the thing and is just blowing smoke up their butt, but she has clearly at least listened.
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I know right? Except if I had one it wouldn’t listen to me either. I imagine that she would start listening to my kids and wife way more than me.
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At least we read your blog post. That is almost like listening to you.
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Yeah, way more than most people or objects. You guys are the probably the only ones. Though sometimes people just read part of my post and just comment on that. Though I don’t blame them, because I don’t usually write about much.
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I blog so I can be heard because in life I get interrupted a lot by people who think they have more important things to say.
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Exactly. Always getting interrupted by bosses, customers and other such nuisances. My ideas aren’t important, but way more important than any of theirs.
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