By being around other people all day.
Tomorrow in the U.S.A., it is one of our biggest holidays, so much so that they don’t let us have an entire week off, but just one day. The best part is that it is holiday where you are almost required to stay up late, because it doesn’t get dark until like 9:30 pm, and that’s when the real fireworks happen (literally fireworks).
So then you stay up way late and have to be at work the next day. It’s really kind of dumb. Most people are smart enough, or have a stable enough job to either take the day before and after off. But for as long as I can remember, I’ve never had either of those days off, either because greedy co-workers steal the holiday days around it, or I can’t because of reasons. Anyways, it ends up just like all of the other firework holidays (okay maybe the one other New Year’s Eve), where staying up late just makes for a long day the next day.
The worst part of the holiday is that it isn’t independent at all. In fact, really it is more of what I would call Interdependent. What are the Independence day traditions? There is almost always a parade. Parades include not only other people, but millions of other people, floats, horses and their poop. What else? Barbecues, which probably include a whole bunch of other people. Probably tons of them that you don’t know. How about movies? People love their Holiday movies, also crowded, also with a bunch of other people.
That’s the kind of fireworks we should be doing.
And then there is the fireworks. As a thing, pretty cool. In a movie, they are the best thing. Essentially, there are colorful, legal, explosions. The problem is that they almost always demand an audience of people. So we have this whole holiday that we celebrate solely for our independence and all we do is depend on seeing other people.
I say to celebrate, we just close up those widows, lock all those doors and stay the heck inside. If someone wants to blow stuff up, that’s cool, just make sure no one else is around, so I can enjoy my explosions in peace.
That is Bendepence Day.
ARRRRRGGGHHHHHH
Bitter Explosion Day Ben
Ben's Bitter Blog 
My wife and two blind puppies enjoyed my pulled pork bbq, a Star Trek The Next Generation marathon before my puppies had to be held as WW III erupted around us. Does that make me more or less patriotic? Good Post.
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So did you enjoy the pulled pork though? I just wish you didn’t have to sit in traffic for an hour at 11 pm at night, right after that 10 minute money wasting light and firework show.
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I like fireworks but why must we continue exploding things into the following week? Do people think it’s okay to just randomly blow crap up for no apparent reason after July 4th has passed? Yeah, I’m bitter.
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Explosions are cool when it is in movies, but when it is around my nap time, they should be banned.
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I’m with Susan. I want to blow up all the neighbors who continue to shoot off fireworks for the entire week, past midnight illegally with city limits. Maybe the fireworks can spell “bitter” in the air.
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That is definitely what you should do. Spell it out in their houses though, when they are trying to sleep.
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done
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Great job.
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Totally. I was just thinking how it would make more sense if places of business gave everybody the 5th off. I mean, the jobs are the ones who have to deal with a ton of sleepy, hungover employees.
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Exactly. How come the Independence Day people didn’t think of this? Why wasn’t it written into the Declaration of Independence?
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Cause they were slackers.
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I know. I think they thought once they wrote all these things in the Declaration of Independence they could just rest on their huge plantations.
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Lol
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Lazy dudes.
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I’m in! We’ve turned down an invitation to go sit outside at a BBQ, bc why would we want to sit outside? Plus, my husband finally gets a day off work and we don’t want to spend that valuable time around anyone else
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Exactly. Who wants to get sun, or a sunburn or fresh air or sit in the sweltering heat? When the inside is so much better.
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I agree we should all have the 5th off! For me, fireworks lost their “spark” a long time ago and now they just annoy me because I need to sleep!
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It’s kind of funny that people even think that fireworks are any kind of cool or different. They all look the same after a while and then you have to see them all again on social media the day after.
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The worse thing is it is on TUESDAY this year. Half the working world (you excluded) had to use a day of their vacation leave on Monday. You actually worked on Monday? NO! If you go in to work, at least have the decency to goof off and not do any actual work.
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You better believe that’s all I did at work. Screwing around was mandatory for me.
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I’m thinking about going fishing tomorrow. Just me, my pole and a dozen worms. That’s independent, right?
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That is definitely independent. I wish it were so for me. I would have sat on the couch and played video games and TV all day if it were up to me.
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Sounds good to me!
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Yeah, who wants to be around people when you are supposed to be home not being around them.
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