Tomorrow in the U.S.A., it is one of our biggest holidays, so much so that they don’t let us have an entire week off, but just one day. The best part is that it is holiday where you are almost required to stay up late, because it doesn’t get dark until like 9:30 pm, and that’s when the real fireworks happen (literally fireworks).
So then you stay up way late and have to be at work the next day. It’s really kind of dumb. Most people are smart enough, or have a stable enough job to either take the day before and after off. But for as long as I can remember, I’ve never had either of those days off, either because greedy co-workers steal the holiday days around it, or I can’t because of reasons. Anyways, it ends up just like all of the other firework holidays (okay maybe the one other New Year’s Eve), where staying up late just makes for a long day the next day.
The worst part of the holiday is that it isn’t independent at all. In fact, really it is more of what I would call Interdependent. What are the Independence day traditions? There is almost always a parade. Parades include not only other people, but millions of other people, floats, horses and their poop. What else? Barbecues, which probably include a whole bunch of other people. Probably tons of them that you don’t know. How about movies? People love their Holiday movies, also crowded, also with a bunch of other people.
And then there is the fireworks. As a thing, pretty cool. In a movie, they are the best thing. Essentially, there are colorful, legal, explosions. The problem is that they almost always demand an audience of people. So we have this whole holiday that we celebrate solely for our independence and all we do is depend on seeing other people.
I say to celebrate, we just close up those widows, lock all those doors and stay the heck inside. If someone wants to blow stuff up, that’s cool, just make sure no one else is around, so I can enjoy my explosions in peace.
That is Bendepence Day.
Bitter Explosion Day Ben