Did you know Spiderman just came out this weekend? The 15th new one since last Spiderman movie. I’ve heard it is good or whatever and of course I’m going to go see it, because I’m a sucker and sitting in a cool, dark theater doing nothing beats being in a lighted cool workplace any day. Plus, my son wants to see it, and I pretty much have to do everything he says. Also, if I don’t see Spiderman, I will miss having one little snippet of information that will completely screw up the whole Marvel Cinematic Extended Universe, and I won’t know what is going on in the next Avenger’s. Ugggh.
Speaking of which, did you know that Extended Universe’s are the new trend and are starting to form right now, without our permission? Marvel pretty much started it, with Iron Man, etc. Now, there is the DC Universe, with Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and Aquaman. Now Hasbro is starting one with Transformers, GI Joe and I assume My Little Ponies. I can’t wait to see giant transforming robots do battle with tiny magical ponies. It should be quite a cinematic treat.
Now the Mummy and Godzilla and King Kong are forming a boy band. I can’t wait to see their latest single come out, “Quit Playing with my 4 ton heart”. It should be a 13 year old crowd pleaser.
As a late comer to all trends that I try to ride the coattails of, I decided that I am going to create a BBEBU, which sounds an awful lot like a credit union, and it might not be, but it sure will be about as boring as one.
The first movie will be about an inaction hero named Bitter Brozo, who has amazing superpowers, but doesn’t really want to use them for things other than changing the remote.
The second will be an unromantic comedy about a doofus named Ben who plays an inaction hero, but his secret identity is a lazy, bitter, unattractive loser, who somehow attracts an gorgeous, ambitious, dynamic woman who somehow wants to try to change him, not because he is a bad boy, but because a boring boy and she takes that as challenge to make him more dynamic, and fun-loving. She tries to get him to smile every once in a while. Because his power of laziness outweighs the power of her love and persuasion, it ends badly (for her), he’s just happy to continue in his lazy ways.
Film 3 is about the Broken Hearted Bitter Betty who decides to join the space program, and goes to Mars, becomes infected with some Mars space dust and comes back as a villain in the BBEBU. She becomes a big part of a galactic squad that fights against Marvel Superheroes, but isn’t the main villain or even the second or third in command, so the Avengers defeat them, but no one knows that she was much of a threat, and just decide to leave her alive.
In the 4th film, one of the villains in her squad gives her one of the Benfinity Stones, but she doesn’t know that it has any power, so she quits the galactic squad, and comes back to earth and does voice over for a video game. The stone is left in the studio, and it gets sucked into the game. Then Bitter Brozo from the first movie, goes to GameStop and ends up with the game that has the stone in it. He gets sucked into the game and the big loop of the BBEBU continues.
Those are just the films until 2030.
There will be integrations of Back to the Future and YouTube video influencers, but you will have to wait for all that to go down.
See you in the Bitter Theater complexes soon.
Bitter BBEBU Ben