Bendiana Jones and the Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness

 

Bendiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Geyser Water.

Bendiana Jones and the Legend of the Crystal Geyser Water.

The Bendiana Jones bitterventures continue in the third installment of the franchise in Bendiana Jones and The Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness. It all starts in a typically boring day in Bitter Bendiana’s life as he prepares for a vacation in late May. As he ties up the last of the loose ends at work, he gets thirsty, and lazy. He notices that he left a Crystal Geyser water bottle at his desk, and because the lunch room is too far from his desk, decides that he has no other option but to drink the disgusting room temperature water. He feels no effects from the water, yet.  He leaves for what will be the next 10 days from work.

The Crystal Geyser Water of Forgetfulness.

The Crystal Geyser Water of Forgetfulness.

 

Even as he leaves, memories of the past…few weeks of work start to fade. His ability to remember what he does at work quickly leave him, but he doesn’t panic because that is a normal thing. After 10 long days, he has forgotten all his job functions completely. He doesn’t know how to interact with people on the phone, co-workers seem to be complete strangers, and remembering how to do a report is but a distant memory. But again, this experience is completely normal and one that doesn’t faze him in the least.

The annoying questions of “How was your vacation?” quickly help him remember how annoying his co-workers were and how much this place got on his nerves.  The follow up question of “Hey, can you do my job for me again, just like you were doing before your vacation?” completely slide him back into the rut his was in and he quickly sets back into the boring and tedious routine.

By the time the fourth day back to work comes around, everything workwise is completely remembered. But something different happens this time. He is reminded by his calendar that another week’s vacation is happening before he can even get fully back into the swing of his full time misery. So without thinking, he draws another drink from the Crystal Geyser water and leaves again. Before he can even put the foot on the gas of his car, work completely fades from his memory. This time it is faster. And by the end of the week, tragedy strikes. He realizes that not only has his ability to remember anything about how to work is gone, but his memories of how to write fades too.

Though he has written over 740 blog posts, the first draft of a novel, and been published for a short story in a magazine, the Crystal Geyser water starts to take effect on his writing brain memory. The inactivity caused by the Crystal Geyser water has completely taken his ability to write a simple paragraph. He can’t respond to a comment on his blog, write an interesting post, or even comment on others blogs.

The cure for the Crystal Geyser Water of Forgetfulness.

The cure for the Crystal Geyser Water of Forgetfulness.

Bendiana knew he had to find the cure for the Writer’s Block given to him by the Crystal Geyser water. Through much research on the internet, he found that the Welch’s Grape Juice sitting on his desk RIGHT next to the Crystal Geyser was the cure. So he drank the elixir, and almost immediately, his ability to write something that wasn’t complete garbage was lifted and Bendiana went about his first day back writing a blog post and responding to comments and possibly even looking at other people’s blogs. He was also able to ignore work in order to do so. Bendiana never became the hero Gotham wanted, but lazy one that they needed.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Bendiana Jones Ben

Advertisements

23 thoughts on “Bendiana Jones and the Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness

  1. Damn, I wish I had something that would make me able to write anything other than complete garbage. The cure for me, I theorize, is money (good luck with that), free time( which I might have more of if I had more money, and every time I feel like I have free time Mrs M swoops down and grabs that up in her vicious talons) and liquor (and I only drink that on weekends after I finish whatever Mrs. M has required of me, the Herculean tasks have nothing on Mrs. M’s damnable honey-do lists.) Scientifically, I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell. Mr. Bitter Ben, we resonate like Chewbacca.

    Like

    • Yeah, it sure would help to be able to write more if we had time and money, but on the other hand, if I had way more of those things, I probably would squander them and not write at all, because there wouldn’t be any conflicting things to write about.

      Like

Your Bitter Comments

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s