The Gym hasn't been working out, which is ironic, because the gym wants everyone else to workout. (Holding for applause on my dad joke...aaaand back to the post.) My wife likes to make fun of me, because I have all these routines and when she sidetracks them, I get a little cranky and bitter. I … Continue reading The Gym Hasn’t Been Working Out BFG’s
Bitter Friday Giftures
Mediocrates Bitterness
I didn't get a proper education growing up in South Dakota, because my English teachers forgot to teach me about the Greek Gods. I never learned about the Italian Gods (my favorite Italian God is Little Caeser), or the Brazilian Gods either. If it wasn't for video games and TV, I never would have known … Continue reading Mediocrates Bitterness
Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Most people have no idea what they want to do as a career in life, even well into college and even after graduating. That wasn't true with me. I decided in 7th grade. I was in a Social Studies class and our teacher made us do an assignment to figure out our careers. I guarantee … Continue reading Bitter Brand Deal BFG’s
Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
You have no idea how much of a burden I carry on a daily basis. My brain is constantly full because I only have capacity for 20 Gigs of information, but it is full of really bad ideas. I have to have an external drive to put all the bad ideas. I put a lot … Continue reading Cracking Necks and Cashing Checks
My 10% Rule BFG’s
I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. Actually, I don't know if I want to do that, because I heard sharing a secret with a person turns them into a friend and I definitely don't need or want one of those. Friends are too messy and they always betray you anyways. … Continue reading My 10% Rule BFG’s
Rewriting History BFG’s
Remember when your teachers lied to you about needing math because you would need it in your career someday? And how you laugh at your teacher now, because not only do you have a calculator on your phone, computer and Ipad, but you have Excel at work to help you figure out any possible mathematical … Continue reading Rewriting History BFG’s
Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
I've been in the working industry for a long time. When I was a kid, my dad told me that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Since I was born at 8 pm at night, I was already proven as the laziest family member because I didn't have my first job until … Continue reading Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben’s Bitter Algorithm BFG’s
If I was Marty McFly and had access to the Delorean and could move forward to the year 2022, I certainly would not. As we learned in March 2020, nothing good has ever come past that date. In 2019, we had just passed the Golden Age of movies, and life itself. Avengers End Game was … Continue reading Ben’s Bitter Algorithm BFG’s
Testing The Waters Bitterness
If there is one thing that I didn't like about school, besides having to be around people, and dealing with authority figures, and the homework, and the reading and the math and the science and the cold weather, and the bullying and the broken system that schools are, it was the tests. I never understood … Continue reading Testing The Waters Bitterness
The REAL History of Thanksgiving
I've always been an advocate of short work weeks. I've been pushing my company really hard to go to the 1-day work week for some time. So far, so bad. We did recently reach a compromise of me keeping me job by working 5 days a week. Don't worry though. They are starting to crack. … Continue reading The REAL History of Thanksgiving
Sports Torture BFG’s
Last Friday, I pretended I was sick so I could leave work early. Normally when I pretend I'm sick I just go home and play video games and sleep on the couch. But this time, it was for unselfish reasons. Instead of being lazy, I actually intentionally decided to go outside and sit in the … Continue reading Sports Torture BFG’s
The Tetris Effect BFG’s
The reason why I love video games so much is that I've been involved in a lot of video games firsts. In 1979, when home video games were just tiny little babies, I got an Atari 2600. I was the first person I knew to have one of them. I had no idea that that … Continue reading The Tetris Effect BFG’s
Driving you up the paywall BFG’s
As a sign of appreciation for feeding her for 18 years, and allowing her to stay rent-free in our house, my daughter abandoned us to go to college. Pretty great gesture if you ask me. Then she decided that she didn't want to go to college right across the freeway from us so she could … Continue reading Driving you up the paywall BFG’s
Living Rent-Free BFG’s
My wife and I have been looking for ways to become independently wealthy for some time now. She would really like to go shopping without looking at price tags. She would also love to have a maid, a personal chef and personal trainer. She would also like a car with heated seats, and a house … Continue reading Living Rent-Free BFG’s
Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s
Do you remember that stupid game your teachers made you play when you were a kid, where the teacher tells one kid a secret and then you had to tell the next person the thing they said? At the end, the last person would try to say the thing that the first person said, and … Continue reading Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s
Nobody is looking at you BFG’s
I haven't progressed much since my teen years. Just like I did in my teens, I still play video games, I still wear jeans and shorts (and jean shorts(jorts)), and still also have a driver's license just like I did as a teen. As the old expression goes, "The more things change, the more things … Continue reading Nobody is looking at you BFG’s
I will soon own Scotland…and then the World
Taking over the world is hard work. Terrorists are constantly trying to do it in movies, governments are always trying to topple other governments and countries one at a time, and Pinky and the Brain have been trying to do it since 1995. Sorry lab rat, beat you to it. Unfortunately for Pinky and the … Continue reading I will soon own Scotland…and then the World
Misery loves Privacy BFG’s
Last week, I said I was taking care of important business, so I just had to give my blog the average amount of attention. That was because I was dropping my daughter off to college. It was important for me to do so, because she is now attending my alma mater. Which according to Wikipedia … Continue reading Misery loves Privacy BFG’s
Generic Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I'm going to be taking care of very important business this Friday, I'm not going to be available to you for your weekly dose of bitterness. I know you expect high-quality content every single Friday without exception, because you're greedy and needy. I know you all think I'm a creative genius, and you're right, … Continue reading Generic Bitter Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 