In my favorite series of all time, Video Game High School, there is an episode where Brian has to practice disarming a bomb for his upcoming video game match. He had always been exceptional at disarming bombs, but this particular week, he was distracted and disarmed by a girl he liked, so he lost his ability to focus, and couldn’t disarm the bomb correctly.

I never did very well in my bomb disarming classes, or fixing our electricity, because I’m not good at the wire sciences. It’s always hard to remember if you’re supposed to cut the red wire to disarm the bomb, the green wire to turn on the electricity or the blue wire to renew the subscription for Wired Magazine. They were all a blur to me, so I usually ended guessing. I ended up diffusing the magazine subscription, starting the electricity on the bomb and blowing up our house when someone hit the light switch. Maybe I should have studied more, but video games were a bigger priority to me than our house blowing up.

There is something that keeps popping up in the “now trending” area of my consciousness and I don’t really know what to make of it. I keep hearing this expression “rewiring your brain” over and over again and I’m not sure why. I assume it’s my brain hijacking the algorithm to show it me subliminally. It also could be that my brain is tired of me not doing anything valuable. Or it just wants me to rewire my brain to actually work. I’m onto my brain, though. I think as soon as my brain gets me to rewire it correctly, it will ditch me for fancier housing. But I need my brain so I can continue to do bitter posts, so he’s not going to trick me that easily. He’ll have to try a little harder next time.

Besides, even if wanted to rewire my brain, as you saw earlier, I kind of failed in my wiring classes. And I never took brain surgery class either, so I’m not sure what instruments I would even use to connect my right and left brains together. Or my lower brain to my upper brain. I’m not sure why my brain isn’t just all connected in the first place. I would be a genius if my brain halves would just stick together in the first place.

I do have a question though. If my brain controls everything already, why can’t he just rewire himself? Why does it need me to do it? Just because I have the hands? But he controls the hands. So why doesn’t he just tell the hands to do it? It’s like, you’re in control man. Rewire yourself. And if AI is so good at everything, why not ask AI to do it?

And if they were to rewire my brain, would it be any better than it is right now? With a quick Google search, I just discovered several ways to do it. Learn a new language? Nope. Make some music? Nah. Travel, no thanks. Exercise, already doing that. Make art…AI’s already taking that over. do that. Play video games? Now we’re talking. Did you know I’m rewiring my brain tonight? I bet you guys aren’t doing that. I guess my parents and all those teachers that told me that video games were rotting my brain are eating crow right now. I was rewiring my brain. What are you doing to rewire your brain besides learning a new language, making music, traveling, exercising or making art? Yeah, I didn’t think so.

Who knows? Maybe I will learn the right wire to cut to disarm a bomb (like this blog post). See how this blog post came full circle? I guess my brain is already wired correctly.

Speaking of cutting off a bomb before it explodes, how about some Bitter Friday Giftures?

The doomsday clock only has 90 seconds…

Don’t put me in charge of…

I failed…

The only disarming I ever did…

I tried to fix the electricity once…

Don’t worry though…

I was never good at cutting wires…

The latest trend is…

I didn’t do well in my…

So I’m not really sure how…

According to Google…

Or play video games…

So to complete the circle, if you want to rewire your brain, it is probably your brain that is asking you to rewire your brain. I never learned how to disarm a bomb, because I didn’t know how to deal with wires. But I made a bomb (this post) and now I disarming it with my bitterness. I never learned how to rewire my brain, because I was too busy playing video games. But then I learned you can rewire your brain, by playing video games. Circle of life people.

ARRRGGGHHHHHH

Bitter Rewiring my Brain Ben