If this week had a face I would punch it. Co-workers talking to me, bosses demanding I do actual work, drivers on the freeway asking that I pay attention to the road at least 25% of the time...It has been brutal. Since I have no boxing experience and never got into any brawls other than the one where someone punched … Continue reading Face Punching Bitter Friday Pictures
Laziness
Noize Bitterness
Alanis Morrisette (are you still alive?) take note. 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife is not ironic. The other night I called T-mobile on my cell phone to add my wife as another line on my cell phone plan. It took 20 minutes, 3 transfers, 2 calls and my wife intervening to … Continue reading Noize Bitterness
Bitter Failure Friday Pictures
This week has been nothing but failures all around. For instance, today should be Saturday and I've been having a case of clinomania. I mentioned moving earlier in the week to a new building for work. Everything related to that went as bitterly as possible. It's too hot here, the water isn't hot enough to use in my oatmeal, my back … Continue reading Bitter Failure Friday Pictures
Moving Bitterness
Moving sucks. I have done it several times in my life and it is life draining. One time when I was about nine months old, I was asked to leave the nice warm body I was inside and was pulled out into a bright loud world. I was so used to the couch like environment that I … Continue reading Moving Bitterness
In Case You Missed It…because you were trying to Save Mr. Banks
If anyone has seen the epic, Saving Mr. Banks, you've seen one of the bitterest characters in cinema history. No, I'm not talking about Walter Disney. The point of the movie wasn't about how P.L. Travers wrote this book about a nanny called Mary Poppins, but how she humiliated the Walt guy by telling him … Continue reading In Case You Missed It…because you were trying to Save Mr. Banks
2014 Retrospective and Friday Giftures
It's been a crazy year, 2014, and I think that today, January 10th is a good time to reflect back on what a crappy year it was. I can barely remember any good movies, music, or quite frankly moments at all. Like I guess New Year's was an okay day because I didn't have to … Continue reading 2014 Retrospective and Friday Giftures
Bitterness for Dummies
Take a seat everyone, class is about to begin at the B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness, Bitterness for Dummies class. I realize that there are a lot of newcomers to WordPress, because it is January and that is the time to start a new blog "for one of your resolutions". I imagine most of your blogs will be abandoned in … Continue reading Bitterness for Dummies
In case you missed it…because you were busy breaking your resolutions
It's 2014. Isn't it about time Marty McFly is supposed to come to Hill Valley and change something around so this place sucks much better? Shouldn't I be required to wear two ties and Skype with my terrible boss at work? Is the internet really the only highway in the sky instead of the flying … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were busy breaking your resolutions
Friday Pictures Different Year, Same Old Bitterness
The longer I've been on this earth, the more mistakes I've made that I haven't learned from. Now, I continue to make them at a more exponential rate. One of the things that people in general will never learn is that they can't win. You may have seen lots of superhero movies or heartwarming tales of … Continue reading Friday Pictures Different Year, Same Old Bitterness
Bitter Distraction
As the year 2013 died a tragic and meaningless death on December 31, at 11:59:59, I was killing a zombies. Lot's of zombies, but only because they were attacking me first. While I was at it, I was also trying to shut down a security camera or three because the government was watching. I was also trying to find … Continue reading Bitter Distraction
The Bitter End…of the Year
Hey there, I'm Bitter Ben's Brain. I snuck on the blog here because well, I get bored a lot. As you might know, Bitter Ben doesn't use me a whole lot, and I realized that he hasn't done any year end posts. I know he never will, so I took it upon myself to do it for him … Continue reading The Bitter End…of the Year
In case you missed it…because you were playing with your shiny new toys
Lot's of people got shiny and new stuff in the last few days. Shininess and brightness can be distracting as babies and cats know. Even I get distracted by laser pointers. I've been known to chase them from time to time (meaning always). By chase I mean with my eyes. And by lasers I mean … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were playing with your shiny new toys
Friday Pictures – The Clever Edition
There is a long standing tradition between me and my family, acquaintances and co-workers, that I crack really lame jokes, puns, and mixed metaphors and they groan, snort or completely ignore me. Since my plan is to live my life in complete and utter isolation, the plan is going much better than I had hoped. Even bitter, there are … Continue reading Friday Pictures – The Clever Edition
Bitter Anticipation
It is days like this, the day after a vacation, holiday or break when I don't feel like working, moving or even breathing, or days like this that feel like a combination of the listlessness of Monday, the overwhelmingness of Tuesday, and the desperation of Thursday, that I realize why I am such a bitter time off anticipator. Call … Continue reading Bitter Anticipation
A Bitter Christmas to All, and To All a Bitter Christmas
Come on in, there's plenty of room. Have a seat by the fire. Arizonians and Brazilians with your shorts and T-shirts, you are in the corner, where the bitter draft comes in. North Dakotians, Russians and Canadians(and other northerners) with your parkas that could keep you warm in Anarctica, keep your thermal gloves, thermal underwear and your earmuffs on … Continue reading A Bitter Christmas to All, and To All a Bitter Christmas
In case you missed it…because you were entranced by a Yule Log
I hope all you completely deserving people that don't have to work Monday and Tuesday or Thursday and Friday, don't have anything bad happen to you, like a Yule log smog incident, or a sleigh slaying, a snowball fall, or a frozen hose. That would be a tragedy if that happened. Because you know that … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were entranced by a Yule Log
Friday Bitter Pictures – Naughty List Edition
He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows when you've good or bad, so be good for goodness sake. Stalker! So you watch me sleep? Did the NSA put you up to this? Sounds like you should be on the naughty list! It's that day of the week where we get … Continue reading Friday Bitter Pictures – Naughty List Edition
The Bitter Crunchy vs plain debate
I thought at some point I would stop learning things because my body is pretty lazy. I figured my mind would start retiring from learning too. But no, my mind had to go and be all ambitious and pull up a fact that I hadn't really learned in 40 years of existing on earth. Luckily it wasn't life changing or … Continue reading The Bitter Crunchy vs plain debate
The Desolation of Smaug
This last weekend a new Hobbit movie called the Desolation of Smaug came out. I'm sure the box office numbers were enormous and the reviews were like, you know pretty good. It is this movie about a bitter place called Middle Earth and some engagement ring that a guy of less than average height was looking for … Continue reading The Desolation of Smaug
In case you missed it…because you were out shopping
Shopping at this time of year is like entering the gladitorial arena of ancient Shoptopolis. Avoid it at all costs. If you want to survive take a little advice and do it the lazy way like me. Get out your computer, log-in, and read Ben's Bitter Blog. Oh, if you want to get shopping done, … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were out shopping
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