Friday Pictures Different Year, Same Old Bitterness

The longer I’ve been on this earth, the more mistakes I’ve made that I haven’t learned from.  Now, I continue to make them at a more exponential rate.  One of the things that people in general will never learn is that they can’t win.  You may have seen lots of superhero movies or heartwarming tales of survival or romances that somehow happen, or other things that make you think that you can overcome and win in life.  But there is one enemy that I am very familiar with that will always win.  No matter how good you are inside, no matter how long of a Shawshank pipe you have to crawl through to get redemption on the other side, there is one enemy you will not defeat.  I’d like to introduce you to the strongest enemy ever, Gravity.

 

Meet Gravity, the one that defies all your stupid quotes.   

As positive as you want to sound, gravity wins in the end.

Fall down nine.  Just ask any dead person.

 

Okay, maybe this girl will defy gravity forever:

160-one-arm-handstand-to-one-arm

Let’s ask her in 10 minutes.

This guy didn’t even want to try to fight gravity.

Gravity wins again.

Superheros, while trying hard to defy gravity, will just cause others to fall for it.  

Spider Man, hero to gravity.

Spider Man, hero to gravity.

This girl knee-ded no help with gravity.

Her knees needed a buckle.

Don’t forget to tell your knees to buckle up.

Some people just pretend to succumb to gravity.

This guy totally did it on purpose.

Yeah, this person fell on “purpose”.

Unlike humans, planes fight gravity with style.

Planes at least try to fight it with style.

Gravity stunt fighter.

One of gravities best friends are stairs.

Gravity just fired this guy.

Gravity just fired this guy.

Elephants never forget to work the gravity system. 

The elephant just taught those bars a lesson in gravity.

The elephant just taught those bars a lesson in gravity.

Gravity never sleeps.

In the end, gravity just sucks.

In the end, gravity just sucks.

So, your demotivational speech for the day is “Just give up!”  No matter how hard you try to fight it, gravity will win.  You can try to delay it by exercizing, trying to learn how to fly, climbing mountains, and using those fancy knees that will eventually get replaced by metal, but you will not win.  I for one, will welcome our enemy gravity by using the patented Bitter Ben method of inserting my body into a bitter old couch and do some LOLing(laying on leather).  Gravity is a much more merciful overlord when you just give into it.  So remember, fall 8 times, just stay on the ground.

Arrrrrrgggghhhh

Bitter Gravity Ben

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44 thoughts on “Friday Pictures Different Year, Same Old Bitterness

  1. Pingback: In case you missed it…because you were busy breaking your resolutions | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. ‘Fall 8 times, stay on the ground.’ That’s a helpful piece of advice and I’m a touched that you’ve decided to offer it to those of us moron’s who keep thinking that you have to be vertical to accomplish things. I should have stayed down loooong ago. Tonight I accomplished watching 5 back to back episodes of The Mindy Project, ate pecan pie and made a steak, all while lying down. It wasn’t easy from the floor but if you tape the tongs onto the broom handle…

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  3. LOL on these amazing videos! You MUST have spent some energy finding these so don’t give me that crap about LOL. The energy alone to type this must have required a couple of candy bars… 🙂

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  4. I can relate to climbing through a Shawshank pipe for the past twenty years, which might be fine if WITHIN that pipe, one could be immune to gravity. Looking down at my lap, I see I am not. As the years go by, the bottom of my chin has made a pact with my tricep-area arm fat to see who can fall the furthest. Even with a trim waist, gravity gets you. I want to go full-on elephant and smash those bars like a bad-ass. He made them look like crappy Newport cigarettes. Damn, it feels good to be a circus gangster.

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