Moving Bitterness

Maybe if moving was like this.

If they could just put me on there.

Moving sucks.  I have done it several times in my life and it is life draining.  One time when I was about nine months old, I was asked to leave the nice warm body I was inside and was pulled out into a bright loud world.  I was so used to the couch like environment that I started screaming when I got evicted. Then six years later, without even being asked if I wanted to go, these two really tall old people moved me from sunny California to this really sparsely populated place called New York.  Not sure why they called it New because everything there seemed kind of old.  Then, just when I got used to this old New place, the less tall people but still very old people made me put my stuff in a box and we went South.  Way south to a place up north called South Dakota.  It didn’t seem anything like the South because it was cold, like 8 months out of the year.  They made me shovel snow all the time, which didn’t make any sense because it just kept snowing.  I would have told them to just wait and eventually it will melt.  It’s not like I should be going anywhere in the this stuff.  I could get a cold.

Don't feel like it.

Don’t feel like it, old tall people.

Just like the snow that I should have left there, I should have just been left in California, and nothing should have changed and I would just have to be bitter that no one made my peanut butter sandwich with creamy instead of crunchy.  For some reason, people keep thinking that I needed a new place to complain about when the old place was so much more comfortable to complain about.  This last week, my company decided to move buildings from one place that was kind of far from me, to a new place that is ever farther from me.

Here is why you should never move either places where you live or from the couch.

Ah that new house smell.

Ah that new house smell.

If you move, there is always a new smell.  Who wants to adjust to that?  One time when I left the couch and ventured outside, I kept smelling this naturey type smell.  It was treelike and foresty and had a freshness to it that made me dizzy and want to lay time.  I didn’t last long and ran back inside.  After my heavy breathing subsided from the pain of “running” a few steps, I laid down on my couch and let my nostrils breathe in the stale air once more.  My head went back to its familiar ache and my bad back returned to it dull pain like usual.  Just like that move outside, I have a new building smell that I have to adjust to, and it is terribly too nice.  I miss the stench of our old place.

The storm finally stopped.  I can finally start digging us out!

Yeah we can shovel our way to school!

Another adjustment to moving is the weather. When I moved from the California to New York, to South Dakota, it kept getting colder every time we moved.  It went from sunny and no snow to no sun and all snow.  When I was born I went from warm and naplike to awake and cold like.  In the old building I was always complaining that it got me sick because it was drafty and cold. Now the new building is too warm and is making me sick…of working.

There is always an adjustment in where you are placed…in your family.  In New York, we started out with only 4 kids in our family, so I only had to share a bedroom with one other person. In South Dakota we had five of us, so I had to share my room with two others.  If only that younger brother would have just stayed a baby, I wouldn’t have had to learn hwo to share so much.  But like seemingly all little brothers, he decided to move and start to walk and talk.  This required that we needed to stop treating him like a baby which my other siblings were willing to do, but I wasn’t.  I still call him my baby brother. And he still insists on walking.

This is what I call efficient packing.

This is what I call efficient packing.

Then worst part of moving is the packing and unpacking.  I don’t know about you, but I love taking all the stuff I own, cram them in a few boxes and realize how little I have that is actually worth moving to another place.  I see all these diamonds laying around my house and think, “Really?  Is it really worth all the space it is going to take up to move in these boxes, when I really should be taking the valuable space for post it notes of idiotic things I said that I could be throwing out in the new place?”  I always get tired of moving my stacks of cash in old boxes, cause I just think the movers won’t treat them carefully.  They don’t see the fragile sign on them and they just let them break.  And why does it seems like there is always way more space at the new place and you just don’t have enough furniture to fill your new 50, 000 square foot apartment?  The problems just seems to grow everytime you upgrade.

Let’s just say that moving is such a dramatic experience that I hope that I don’t have to move from the couch to the kitchen any more than I have to in the next 10 years, because that was exhausting.

Arrrggghhh

Bitter Moving Ben

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90 thoughts on “Moving Bitterness

  1. Pingback: In case you missed it…you didn’t miss much | Ben's Bitter Blog

  2. The last time we moved, I was in the hospital with pregnancy complications. Some friends helped him move. He wouldn’t let them throw away ANYTHING because I might want it. I came home to a new house that wasn’t any cleaner than the old one – the stuff was just more spread out.

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  3. I have to agree with all of this, the most bitter thing I can think of is packing, usually even worse than unpacking, kind of like wrapping a present, takes 5 minutes to wrap and 3 seconds to rip open. PACKING IS BITTER!

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  4. Oh my GOD I know what you mean! I call Chadron, NE “little hell on the prairie,” and i, too, lived through the whole burning lungs frozen nostrils while merely retrieving the mail thing. Plech…very bitter thoughts are generated every winter.

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  5. You snow problem was my making the bed problem. One time my Dad was so mad that I hadn’t made the bed that he made me make it just before going to sleep… further proving my inner thought process of “why make it when I am going to sleep in it again anyway?!”

    My brother and I shared a room for half a night and then my parents were like fuck no, move him out of there (cause it was my room to start)… winner winner right here!

    Moving blows. Our office was supposed to move but it didn’t and I was a happy cake for it!
    (Happy cake what the hell?)

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  6. I’ve moved many times in my life, so I feel your pain. The one good thing about moving is it’s a good way to get rid of a lot of stuff you realize you don’t need. As for South Dakota, I grew up in North Dakota, so I know all about cold and snow. More than I ever want to, in fact…

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  7. You didn’t mention those nosy neighbors who wait five minutes for the moving truck to pull away, come over with a plate of something they dragged out of their garage freezer, chirping, “Welcome to the neighborhood” while looking beyond you, assessing your taste in living room sofas. Ever have any of those?

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  8. As I’m reading this, the eldest Duggar son is moving his family out of their home and into a new one on TV. Even with the help of 20+ people, moving does not appear fun. Except they all are getting pizza as an incentive. Just make sure you don’t accidentally take your boxes of stacked cash (you are moonlighting as a stripper?) to the Goodwill.

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  9. We are planning a large move in the next two years. I kind of want to sell everything we have and start over rather than move anything other than ourselves.

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