I know that none of you are used to being woken up before noon on your day off from your jobs (unless you work on Saturday, in which you have an entirely different reason to be bitter) and your blogs. Well, I'm not used to being woken this early either, thank you very not at … Continue reading A Bitter Endorsement from my Famous Friends
Laziness
Bitterly Swinging for the Fences Friday Giftures
Yesterday, I was outside because some kid wanted to play baseball in the backyard. Because I was a master of bitter hitting, where I would either hit it straight into someone else's glove or I would completely whiff in embarrassing fashion, he thought I might be able to teach him something. Baseball there is not … Continue reading Bitterly Swinging for the Fences Friday Giftures
Credit Bitterness
All day long at work, I am Santa Claus. Or, more accurately, Bitter Claus. I enter credits. I reign money down upon undeserving corporations like rain comes down on Seattle. I go down people's virtual chimneys and leave the present of credit in their email boxes. Even though most of these corps are naughty, … Continue reading Credit Bitterness
Storage Unit Bitterness
There is the younger and shorter individual in my house that has a philosophy about junk that is broken. You take all the hard earned money of someone else, preferably someone taller and older and you brow beat them into submission until they buy you a new one. If I did happen to like trees … Continue reading Storage Unit Bitterness
Wasted Friday Giftures
I see you none of you missed me on Wednesday. No one sent a get well soon card, a stuffed crust pepperoni, or a thermometer. Remember when I stayed up all night when your blog wasn't feeling well and your computer had some sort of virus and you wanted me to watch it? Yeah, … Continue reading Wasted Friday Giftures
The Bitter Body Betrayal
There's a little day coming up in the not so distant future which often gets overlooked in the pantheon of days of March. There a lot who would think that St. Patrick's Day is the only holiday worth celebrating in March despite that fact that no one actually get to take the day off. If … Continue reading The Bitter Body Betrayal
A Bitter Three Year Old
You know how when you hear a terrible song, and you just can't seem to get it out of your head? Or a jingle from a stupid local car commercial and you want to punch the commercial in the face? You know that three year old kid you see in the store that just won't … Continue reading A Bitter Three Year Old
Defiant Friday Giftures
Teens have a history of rebelling against society. Hunger Games. Divergent. 100's of other dystopian novels that have become all the rage these days. But last night I was watching a classic from the 80's that most of you weren't even born when it came out. The Breakfast Club is a group of 5 random … Continue reading Defiant Friday Giftures
Bitter Extreme Makeover
It's time. I can't take this blog anymore. It's gonna get blown up to bits and pieces and rebuilt from the bottom up to be a much bitter blog. Wow. Really? You thought I was going to do any work at all on this thing? Come on. No. I'm not changing this blog. That would … Continue reading Bitter Extreme Makeover
Bitter Business Bureau
It seems like everytime I turn around, some idiot is setting me up with a dentist appointment. As you might have just surmised, I set a dentist appointment for today. A lot of people I know would brush extra hard and floss just right today, but I don't. First of all, is any amount of … Continue reading Bitter Business Bureau
Bitter Blogger of the Year
Hey bitter blog followers. Remember way back in like, January when it was all snowy in the North and East and stuff and people were bitterly complaining about how much snow there was? Remember how bitter you were and you woke up that morning and saw a post of mine called "Help Me Become Number … Continue reading Bitter Blogger of the Year
Tricky Bitter Giftures
This has been a weird week because not only have I had to do stuff at work, but also when I got home I've had to do stuff. You know those times I'm talking about. When you can't go home and immediately change into you sweats and melt into the couch with the remote and … Continue reading Tricky Bitter Giftures
Bitter Time out for Adults
I'm getting a little tired of telling my kids to get to bed. Tired of telling them to eat their ice cream for dinner and tired of telling them to shower once a month, tired of telling them to bring me the remote control over and over again. I'm tired of them making me … Continue reading Bitter Time out for Adults
The Bitter Owner’s Manual
Some people I know like to build Legos. Or rebuild engines. Or fix computers. Or put together furniture. Or mend relationships. For some reason, when they do these things, they think it brings some sort of order to the universe. It doesn't. What they don't know is that it brings something evil screaming into the … Continue reading The Bitter Owner’s Manual
Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Every afternoon, I leave my crazy job for a little bit and go to the break room. I grab my smart phone and turn on the big screen TV and I watch that game show called Let's Make a Deal. You know, the one where people dress up like deranged lunatics on Halloween so they … Continue reading Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Clothes need to start doing more
Smart phones are useful because they do like more than one thing. They actually do like 3 things. They text (with your permission, of course) they run apps, and they run the internet like a mini-boss. If you have a cool smart phone and don't depend on it to ignore people on a regular basis, you … Continue reading Clothes need to start doing more
Bitteraffirmations
I don't know if you've heard of this phenomenon called Facebook, but it's what they call a Social Network where you and some people you call "friends" become even closer as friends by connecting through a computer box. Here is what happens. You go to this website http://www.facebook.com and you fill out all kinds … Continue reading Bitteraffirmations
40 Years of Late Night Shenanigan Bitterness
There was a whole lot of things going on in the world this weekend. First, trending on twitter, people were anticipating my doctor's appointment, #excusetoleavealittleearly. FYI, I didn't die, so I guess things turned out alright. Then, there was that lame game night that was planned for the evening. You will be bitter to know … Continue reading 40 Years of Late Night Shenanigan Bitterness
Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
Back in the old days (pre-Benzoic Era 1973) people were polite when they decided that they didn't want to something anymore. People would write a nice note to their boss apologizing that they needed a little time off of work from the mines that they worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week. … Continue reading Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
February – A Bitter Person’s Dream
Some people (ie me) can get bitter about anything. Day or night, cold or hot, east or west, Monday or Friday, April or August. It's a talent for some of us, and something I think a lot of people really envy. I understand your jealousy, but I don't really care. There are times of the … Continue reading February – A Bitter Person’s Dream
Ben's Bitter Blog 