Unless you know some kid that constantly watches Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, Sprout or Nickelodeon this post may not make sense. Let's just say you do know what Snuggies are thought, whether you want to admit it or not. When they first came out, you laughed at them and said, "There is no way I'm going to ever … Continue reading Hybrid Kid’s Crap for Sale!
Humor
The Supermoon
I spent most of the day Saturday out in the middle of nowhere Washington, at a family reunion. It was at a Great Uncle or something's house that had a sprawling 10-15 acres (I have no idea how big acres are. Let's just say it was a big yard.) In the back, there was a … Continue reading The Supermoon
Forecasting Friday Bitter Giftures
I'm not good at a lot of things. I can't snowboard (at least that I know of), I keep my desk arranged in a way that allows important things to get lost, and I am certainly not good at smiling. They say that frowning uses way more muscles than smiling, but have you seen my … Continue reading Forecasting Friday Bitter Giftures
In case you missed it…because the media was chasing you
You just typed the blog of your life and that one person that wrote a book, accidentally followed you. All of a sudden, your blog is blowing up, and you are adding like 5 followers a month. All of a sudden, rumors are flying around about the bacon vegan meal you had, the scandalous … Continue reading In case you missed it…because the media was chasing you
What’s the Bitter Idea?
Since I'm an introvert, (which means I only talk or listen to people when I feel like it), I have a lot of time for observation. I like to observe people because it gives me the opportunity to judge them and make wild assumptions about why I can't stand them. Of course, when people talk … Continue reading What’s the Bitter Idea?
Breaking Down the Bitter Walls
There are walls everywhere. Some are mobile and go 70 miles an hour in rush hour. Others are tiny and whiny and somehow live in the same neighborhood as your kids, want to eat all your food and mess up your house, play all your video games, then leave without a care in world, … Continue reading Breaking Down the Bitter Walls
Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
If there is something I lose more than my wallet(which of course I forgot or lost this morning), it is my memory. Every time I wake up in the morning I lose about every shred of a dream I might have had. Probably a good thing, considering how bitter my dreams probably are. Pretty much … Continue reading Bitter Memory Friday Giftures
In case you missed it…because you were busy getting season finalied
You always know the season finales are happening when the world starts spinning as fast as a hurricane, tornado, volcano and the Flash combined. You know when a divorce, marriage, death, and merger all happen to the same person in the same hour. So I completely don't understand how you could have missed a moment … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you were busy getting season finalied
Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
I think my veins are filled with either honey or fear. Because of the warm weather (65 degrees!, just kidding 85) in the last two days, I have had to roll down the windows of my car. It seems like whenever I pull up to a stop, a member of the bee community has been … Continue reading Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures
Bitterly Fresh Air
It was around 5:30 pm on Mother's Day and the kids were getting restless. By restless, I mean they were getting on our nerves. Somehow, the clouds and rain had decided to take the day off. Sunshine was penetrating every window in the house and it was getting stuffy inside. Mom needed to get … Continue reading Bitterly Fresh Air
Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Work is my all time favorite thing to be bitter about. Why you might ask? The thing you most want to complain about is the thing that you have to do the most. Also, if you ever want to talk about it, you have to be sneaky, like when you are at home and … Continue reading Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2
Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
Some people (like you) have big goals, lofty ideals and save the world mentality. Some people just want to watch the world be bitter (me). Regardless of your goals and expectations, sometimes you fall short(or always you fall short. Uh hem me.) There is nothing bitterer than falling short of expectations. The worst thing of … Continue reading Bitter Falling Short Friday Giftures
41 Things I’m Bitter About
It is again that time of year when I get to celebrate all the people asking me stupid questions like, "What are you going to do today?" and "What kind of cake do you want?" and "What presents did you get?" and "How can I annoy you the most today on the day that you … Continue reading 41 Things I’m Bitter About
In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
I am in an undisclosed location that absolutely does not rhyme with DUtah, under strict orders by myself to not to do work, but the Mr. Work Enforcer (me) never said anything about blogging, even though it is a lot of work. I'm in an overground bunker that they call houses here, that has … Continue reading In case you missed it, because I missed doing it
Bitter Friday Gifture Curse
Hey guys, remember my post yesterday? You know, the one where I was reporting the news about the evil cloud empire and at the end I was being taken away because I was spilling all their guarded secrets? (Did you know when you put data in the cloud they are just stealing all your credit cards and … Continue reading Bitter Friday Gifture Curse
Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
I don't know if it is the fact that daylight savings time happened this week, or that the fact that I have been asked to do work at my job this week, or that I just decided to not sleep this week, but I'm tired. The only tired I want to do is Retired. And … Continue reading Tired Friday Gifture Bitterness
Ninja Bitterness
You know those stupid career assessment tests you take in high school and college that ask moronic questions about your character traits to determine what career best suits your personality? Since I'm not technical, I don't like math, I'm an introvert, I like working with little or no supervision (and by little I mean none), … Continue reading Ninja Bitterness
It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
It's Frickin Friday and I don't care. I don't care about work, or science or what I cram down my pie hole. And by that I mean Pizza. I'm gonna slap some tomato sauce or paste or whatever on some crust, lots and lots of cheese, whatever kind, and pepperoni, put it in an oven, … Continue reading It’s I Don’t Fricken Care Friday Giftures
My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
As you may know, I was recently preparing my speech for my nomination to get into the Bitter Hall of Fame. Though I was nominated, I didn't get in. As per normal, I got within in one vote of getting in and I blame the people who don't follow my blog. To say I am bitter about it is an … Continue reading My terrible interview with James Lipton on Inside the Bitter Actor’s Studio
A preview for my speech into the Bitter Hall of Fame
I was watching the credits of a movie the other day, and they were long. Really long. An hour and a half later, I woke up and they were still running. Sure it was an epic show, (so much drama, Grown Ups 2) , but what I learned is that it clearly it takes a lot … Continue reading A preview for my speech into the Bitter Hall of Fame
Ben's Bitter Blog 