Friends, Family and other Bitter People I know: This year was so exciting, I almost forgot to send out my Christmas Letter. I know you guys aren't my family, but you ignore me just as much as my family does, so I consider you just like them. I couldn't afford postage to send this to … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Christmas Letter
holidays
Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
I feel like we are all a little out of whack here. And by that I mean all of YOU are out of whack. I've noticed that you bums are all busy doing nice things for others, attending parties that you are actually having fun at, and enjoying food other than pizza. And to … Continue reading Getting your Priorities Straight Friday Giftures
Taking over the World
It was 1998 when I knew I wanted to take over the world. Pinky and the Brain inspired it. (If a couple of lab rats can almost do it, I certainly could with my human like size.) My best friend from college and I always talked about it and planned it. We would start slowly with him … Continue reading Taking over the World
The Bitter Gauntlet
I was born in the 70's, which means...I grew up in the 80's. If you've read the history books about the 80's (or lived in them) it was a colorful time...literally. Colors that no other decade would even touch (like neon anything), fabrics no other decade would wear (parachute pants?), and hairstyles no other decade … Continue reading The Bitter Gauntlet
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
You would think that this time of year, with the spirit of the holidays, competition would begin to tail off a little bit. But you would be wrong. Things seem to heat up even more for some reason. Rivalries start to get even more intense. The Great American Light Fight has expanded the fight to … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweet vs. Salty
Unstable Friday Giftures
I've been thrown off kilter this week, because for some reason I decided to take the whole week but Friday off. Getting up for one day of work is exhausting and I think after already 20 minutes of work I have done already, I'm already ready for the weekend. Remind me next time to just … Continue reading Unstable Friday Giftures
The Bitter Safety Dance
I'm gonna let you in on a little secret about me. Listen closely now. Ready? I have a little trouble with authority. Ever since I was young. Close your mouth from the shock. Take you finger out of the light socket. You don't want to get shocked a second time. Remove your tongue from the … Continue reading The Bitter Safety Dance
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Scrooge vs. The Grinch
We are in the middle of a huge flood. Batten down the hatches and start weatherproofing your house. The cheesy Hallmark, ABC Family, Lifetime, UP Network and all other channel onslaught of Christmas specials are coming. Romance in snowed airports, Christmas dogs, losing jobs in marketing, finance and accounting and having to return to family … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Scrooge vs. The Grinch
The Bitter Dust Collector
If you've ever been the least bit obsessed about anything and felt like kind of a tool for liking something too much, just enter the name of that thing into Google and you can find a vast array of people around the world that are WAY more of a tool than you. When I was … Continue reading The Bitter Dust Collector
Bitter Ben’s Movie Review: Furious 7
There's a lot of words that can describe the little movie franchise that could. Fast. Furious. Fast and Furious. 2 Fast 2 Furious. Fast 5. Furious 7. The list of ways to describe it are endless. Somehow I missed this one in the theaters, but I saw it on Blu-Ray this weekend. Let me put … Continue reading Bitter Ben’s Movie Review: Furious 7
Binge Watching Bitterness – Bitter News From the Couch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwEqzAcTKw8 I'm going to go ahead and assume that all of you tell the truth on every blog post you've ever written, because I certainly always do. Especially that time I told you about my B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness that educates willing minds about how to be more bitter. And that one time I claimed … Continue reading Binge Watching Bitterness – Bitter News From the Couch
The Reason I became a Bitter Blogger
I am not a multi faceted personality. I am about as interesting as watching toast flavored, grass colored paint drying. I might appear on social media as only a boring dude, but that is because I'm only posting the highlights of my personality. If you followed me around in real life, first of all quit … Continue reading The Reason I became a Bitter Blogger
Scaredy Cat Bitter Friday Giftures
For some reason, around this time of year, fears seem to pop up as an issue. People seems to want to talk about their fear of spiders or ghosts or the dark or cholesterol or the way too upbeatness of SpongeBob. Maybe it's because Halloween brings the spookiness out of people, or this time … Continue reading Scaredy Cat Bitter Friday Giftures
Hospital Bitterness
I may or may not have recently visited the hospital recently. I think some people love them, because they help save lives or help sick people or other important jobs like that. I get that hospitals don't make much money, because they charge so little for their services. I have heard from a reliable source … Continue reading Hospital Bitterness
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Halloween vs. Christmas
As soon as August ends, summer is unofficially over and what I call the holiday quadrant of the year begins. Let's be honest, no one gets out music and decorations for Flag Day. Or puts up lights in their house for and starts getting ready for St. Patrick's Day. Everybody is pretty patient for holidays … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Halloween vs. Christmas
Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
Back in the old days (pre-Benzoic Era 1973) people were polite when they decided that they didn't want to something anymore. People would write a nice note to their boss apologizing that they needed a little time off of work from the mines that they worked 18 hours a day 7 days a week. … Continue reading Rage Quitting Friday Giftures
Groundhog’s bitterness
Some of you who were born before Bill Murray's Groundhog's Day movie came out in 1993 won't recall this, but before then, Groundhog's day was not known as a day that repeats itself, but a day that was famous for a rodent. Kind of like Disneyland. Let's be honest. When's the last time the hog … Continue reading Groundhog’s bitterness
Bitter Year End Wrap Up
If you don't know this by now, I'm gonna tell you something revolutionary about me. I don't blog like other people. I don't blog about recipes (well, I might do one if there is a recipe with something bitter in it and I learn how to cook someday), write about my family, blog about relationships, … Continue reading Bitter Year End Wrap Up
Twas the Night to Be Bitter
Just so you know, I didn't major in the poetry arts in college. Also, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas is very long and I am very impatient. And by the way, rappers don't always exactly rhyme all the time either and they get paid millions of dollars more than I do. So, with that in … Continue reading Twas the Night to Be Bitter
Bitter Christmas Music
First of all, I want to say to all those out there that are not working this week, because your jobs are awesome and they let you have this week off, or you are a teacher and they "make" you stay home for two weeks, or you are just going to "call in sick" for … Continue reading Bitter Christmas Music
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