For years, I've talked about wanting to become less of a person and more of a robot. Why people want to have so many fleshy people parts is beyond me. I don't know about you, but I would really like to have parts of my body that didn't hurt all the time. My shoulders, my … Continue reading The Bitter Heart Replacement
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Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks
As we all hungrily (airs faced squarely in the air) await the Super Bitter Bowl today, to satiate our appetites for the predictably highest rated program of the year, let us look to one of the more interesting rivalries out there. First up is the the "Lambo" as it is affectionately called, has a mysterious … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Lamborghini’s vs. Tanks
Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures
It's hotter than the trendiest nightclub, cooler than the cold weather the groundhog is predicting for the next 6 weeks, fresher than the bagels at Einsteins Bagels this morning, more bitter than unsweetened chocolate, and more hashtagy trending that Twitter and upwardly blue arrowy than Facebook. Iiiiit's Bitter Friday Giftures.... Though the gifs are … Continue reading Trending: Bitter Friday Giftures
If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?
I was reading a comic the other day about a girl that was struck by lightning and given super powers. When first given those powers, she decided that she would use them for doing good. She would rescue stray dogs, fight bad guys and punch a hole in injustice. She ended up doing none of … Continue reading If you were invincible, how would you waste your powers?
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts
For some reason it is winter and the cold doesn't seem to be going away. It's like one of long lost college buddies that stop's by your place one day asking if he can crash on your couch for a night, maybe two...or three weeks and ends up staying for 3 or 4 months, before … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Sweaters Vs. Sweatshirts
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand
Sometimes having hands is a good thing, because they come in handy (pun very much intended), but most of the time they are burden. When you have them, people expect you to do things with them like help. My mother all growing up would say things like, "You have two hands, you can get them … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Right hand vs. Left Hand
Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures
Nope. I know what you are thinking. This has nothing to do with Viley Mirus. I'm talking about those big balls of forged steel that take down brick structures faster than a pig can run all the way home. I have one of those and he can ruin a house faster than a greased … Continue reading Wrecking Ball Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets
The transportation industry is a 7.4 trillion dollar a year (according to Wikipedia in 2014, a reliable source if I've ever found one) industry with trains, planes, automobiles and duck bus getting us from point A to point B and across maps, and locations safely all day and all night 24 hours a day, 7 … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Kangaroo pouch vs. Pant Pockets
Gifsketball
When I was grew up I was a natural athlete. I could run like a slug, jump like a turtle, and watch sports on TV like a full grown man. Because I was tall(ish), I was forced to be athletic in basketball. I kind of hated it in seventh grade, mostly because all the … Continue reading Gifsketball
Drive Thru disasters
When we left Seattle, I knew there would be some things I would miss, like my co-workers (because my aim is pretty bad). I also knew there were also some things I would glad to leave in my rear view. The constant rain, the insane amount of green, gray and trees, and the location of … Continue reading Drive Thru disasters
H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo
I don't like being told what to do. Most of the time I do it anyways, but I don't like it. This is why Top 40 music has always made me bitter. Even growing up, I couldn't stand it. Not only was it repetitive, but these songs were basically chosen by some music producer … Continue reading H to the Izzo, G to the Giffo
Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures
For bitter's sake it has been a long time. At least in blogging days. It's been an actual week since I've done anything on this sad pathetic blog. I know I've got at least one idea for a post, but I'm not going to break the long standing tradition of doing Friday Giftures, just … Continue reading Long time no Bitter Friday Giftures
Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures
You can't call it a comeback, because I've been here for years. - L.L. Not so Cool J Ben Remember when that song was a thing? Now that I am done with school and haven't received my first $1,000,000 offer to change people's lives for the worse, I've got a whole lot of time on … Continue reading Don’t call it a Comeback Friday Giftures
It is Snow Cold
For those of you who don't know anything about me, I grew up in South Dakota. If you've never heard of it, it is South of North Dakota, which is different than North Carolina. It is located in the middle of the country and has less people in the whole state than most minor cities. … Continue reading It is Snow Cold
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Social Media Engagements vs. People Engagements
I've spent an awful lot of time this semester hearing a lot of social media "buzzwords". There is reach, user generated content, remarketing, content curation, funneling, conversions, and native advertising. But there is one word I've heard more than any this semester and not really wanting to hear:engagements. It's probably because I go to a … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Social Media Engagements vs. People Engagements
Bowling Alley Friday Giftures
So I wasn't bowling the other day and I was trying to strike up a conversation with someone, just kidding, why would I ever do that? Anyways, I was driving in the wrong lane, when I came upon something in the gutter...ball, and it struck me that I needed to do something this coming … Continue reading Bowling Alley Friday Giftures
The Ultimate Bittersurvivor
Remember that game show Survivor? Do you remember how they placed people on an island with only a few provisions? They had to fend for food, and make their own shelter and compete in challenges against another team of survivors and then they had to vote one off every week. I think Tom Hanks was … Continue reading The Ultimate Bittersurvivor
Bitter Haunted Houses
It's that bitter time of the year where stinky little goblins dressed up as kids dressed up as hoodlums start invading neighborhoods and asking for free candy. Holding their little pillowcases out, saying Trick or Treat. They are trying to get something from my good candy stash, but I know better than that. I always … Continue reading Bitter Haunted Houses
My Bitter Exotic Travel
Judging by all the things I've been talking about doing lately, you probably think I've been working really hard. You know, like sitting in the stands watching football, or sitting in class pretending to pay attention with my eyes closed. Or sitting in a study area, pretending to type papers, or sitting in our van … Continue reading My Bitter Exotic Travel
Bitter Viral Post
I'm not sure why so many people are going to share this post, because the content is just terrible. It's not funny or inspirational or worth anyone's time, but for some reason you want to share it with your friends. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am hypnotizing you, because I … Continue reading Bitter Viral Post
Ben's Bitter Blog 