"You wanna know how I got these scars?" The Joker famously spouted this line several times in The Dark Knight. None of the people he was telling really wanted to know, but didn't really have a choice because he was going to tell them anyways. Well, I guess I'm the Joker to you right now. … Continue reading Bitterly Scarred Part 1
First World Problems
Bitter News from the Couch
Remember on Friday when I gave you the clue on the Scavenger Hunt? Coming soon... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qp1VVWRvvxc Remember to view, subscribe and share with all those who you want to Experience the Bitterness.
Bitter Scavenger Hunt Giftures
Raise of hands here. Who could have been about 15 times more efficient at work with one or two pieces of vital information that was either not given freely or hidden from you by an annoying co-worker? Yep, that is me raising my arm bitterly and furiously like Hermoine in a Defense against the Dark … Continue reading Bitter Scavenger Hunt Giftures
Bitter Summer Camp
It's the end of the summer, and the kids are definitely not ready to go back to school. But it's hot and sweaty and they don't call these the dog days of summer for nothing. The dog keep barking at the kids when they come inside. So make them go outside. To my exclusive, high … Continue reading Bitter Summer Camp
Bitter Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream
I have always been an entrepreneurial type of person, meaning I have all kinds of ideas that would make me rich, if I were living in a fantasy world and smart people with lots of money were blindly funding me money and other smart people were at no cost building my ideas. So obviously the … Continue reading Bitter Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream
Bitter Leftovers – Things you should probably say no to
Your aunt's leftover pea soup. Encyclopedia salespeople. A space shuttle flight to beautiful sunshiny sun. A Periscope of your friends surgery. Wanna try new garbage scented Mouthwash Indoor fireworks. Casual high speed chase on Thursday at 5 pm on the 405. Pumpkin Fight. To being Elon Musk's insurance agent. Wanna be a cat scratching post? … Continue reading Bitter Leftovers – Things you should probably say no to
Hiding Friday Giftures
Considering all the bitterness that happened this week, there are all kinds of reasons you needed to stay home and not be here at work. You know what I'm talking about. You embarrassed the boss by doing that thing, you did that report on Word instead of Excel, and you spilled water all over your … Continue reading Hiding Friday Giftures
Bitter Fluorescent Fights
There have been lots of scourges in this world. Tornadoes, hurricanes, Godzilla, earthquakes, Justin Beiber, trillion dollars debts, Donald Trump, Donald Trump's hair and even the summer holiday drought. But there is a secret scourge that hides in the shadows. One that haunts us everyday at work, in public buildings, in old dusty outhouses, in … Continue reading Bitter Fluorescent Fights
Controversy Bitterness
I know this is a controversial subject, but when have I ever shied away from controversial subjects? All the time, you say? Well, yeah I guess you are correct. It bothers me when people are so proud of their accomplishments that they do in the early morning without a little coffee. Just today, I overheard … Continue reading Controversy Bitterness
Gates must be so bitter
The Tom Brady thing about deflated balls just won't go away. This thing happened so long ago, I was like in my early to late 41's when it came out. Here it is in August 2015 and it is still in the news. So much so, that it has received the prestigious seal of approval … Continue reading Gates must be so bitter
Suncastic Bitter Giftures
The sun is 93 million miles away (at least according to the scientist Sun E. Day, who traveled from earth to the sun with a big tape measure. Though he accidentally let go at 84 million, so he had to come back and get it again. Then, he was only 1 million away and got … Continue reading Suncastic Bitter Giftures
Proper Napping Procedures
There are very few subjects which I am an expert at. Grammar, I don't have a doctorate in. Math? I think if the end of the world were imminent and all I had to do was solve the equation for X to save the world, get ready for the apocalypse and the four horseman to … Continue reading Proper Napping Procedures
Bitter Leftovers -Bankruptcy
It's pretty clear I'm not famous, which is fine, because who wants to be hassled with having people around ALL. THE. TIME.? I'm sure there are some perks to being famous, like being able to yell at assistants, show up late to stuff, pout in your trailer and appear in magazines as a complete tool, … Continue reading Bitter Leftovers -Bankruptcy
Junk Mail Friday Giftures
This world needs less junk. Between the junk emails, junk mail littering our mailboxes, and the junk that is wandering around on practically every website ever, a big volcano is going to erupt someday and give us all papercuts. And you know how painful they are. I watched Hoarders last night against my will (the … Continue reading Junk Mail Friday Giftures
The Battle of Nerf Gun Control Bitterness
When I first moved to Seattle, I thought it would be near a coffee shop, or a shop where people threw fish at me, or underneath a huge needle looking tower thing that would be throwing fish at me. I knew so little about this Seattle and what it would look like. Instead of one … Continue reading The Battle of Nerf Gun Control Bitterness
The Bitter Energy Crisis
There is an energy crisis in this country. It doesn't have anything to do with fuel, or gas, or coal or oil. This is a human energy crisis. We are so tired from staying up late playing video games, watching YouTube, watching TV or heaven forbid work, that when some of us wake up at … Continue reading The Bitter Energy Crisis
Bitter Leftovers – Quiet INTERRUPTED
We all seem to have one of those people in our lives that just can't be quiet. That just can't stand the silence. That have to verbalize every thought they have ever had ever. No matter how stupid. The co-worker next door neighbor that has to express every feeling and every emotion after every call … Continue reading Bitter Leftovers – Quiet INTERRUPTED
Bitter Skydiving Friday Giftures
Every Sunday night, we all collectively board a small plane, with a super loud propeller, and the wind screaming in our ears so we can hardly hear each other. We are getting all kinds of instructions from some former skydiver who just wanted to surf his whole life, but realized that life costs money. So … Continue reading Bitter Skydiving Friday Giftures
Leftover Bitterness- A Bitter Symphony
My commute was hot as usual, because the air conditioning in my car didn't work because my arms didn't feel like rolling the windows down. So, of course, I was exhausted and didn't want to do anything but park...myself on the couch. But then I was hungry, but there was no plan on the … Continue reading Leftover Bitterness- A Bitter Symphony
Cartoon shaming bitterness
When I was in my late dating years, I tried to woo a girl that didn't particularly want to be wooed by me, but for whatever reason I kept trying to get a date with her. She finally relented and I decided that I should go on a double date with my brother and his … Continue reading Cartoon shaming bitterness
Ben's Bitter Blog 