#ANALLHASTAGPOSTTOMAKEYOURMONDAYBITTER

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#letshashtagthisthingtodeath

#Ithinkthetitlesaysitallsoifyouwanttogetoffthetrainrightnowhereisyourchance

#ifnotyoucancontinuetoreadthisridiculouspost

#ifyouwerelookingforawaytomakeyourmondaymorningbitteryou’vecometotherightplace

#whywouldIdosomethingsostupid?

#firstofallmondaysaretheworstandyouneedapostthatmatchesthebitternessoftheday

#secondwhydotheycallthemhashtagswhentheyarepoundsigns

#thirdwhydopeoplethinkthesethingsaresoimportantonfacebookinstagramandtwitter

#whydopeoplethinkthataddingasuperlonghashtagtoaphotowillgetthemmoreviews

#maybeitsbecauseitworksifyouhavetherighthashtag

#ormaybeifyourpicturesucksoryourtweetsucksoryoufacesucksitdoesn’tmatterwhatyourhashtagis

#you #are #correct

#you #are #correct

#regardlesshashtagsseemprettyuselesstomeespeciallywhentheyarelongandboringliketheseonesare

#theyaregimmickyexceptwhenthereisactuallysomethingbehindthehashtag

#likeabignamewithsomefameoracontroversywithoutsomemercy

#haveIannoyedyouenoughyetwiththisinsanelygratiatingandannoyinghashtagpost

#orareyoureadyformore

#forallyouknowimjustthrowinggobblydegookonthispostandmakingupsomestupidwords

#ifyouhaven’tgottenbitterbynowyouareprobablyamillenialasocialmediaaddictorariddlesolvingbatmanorbatwoman

#letshopethishasn’tgivensomeofyoudepressionanxietyorconiptions

#ormadeyouwanttopunchyourcomputerorphonescreens

#orcauseyoutohittheunfollowbuttonbecauseyou’vefinallyhadenoughofthis

#butifithascausedyoutowanttopunchaholeintheuniverse

#youarenotalone

#hashtagsalsomakemewanttohitatweetintheface

#soafteryoureadthisletusneverspeakofthisagain

#andlet’sneverdohashtagsagainunlesstheystartmakingusmillionaires

#orbecomesupergeniuses

#orfindthemeaningoflife

#killingmesoftly

#killingmesoftly

#whichistofindourinnerbitternessforourselves

#andshareitwithotherpeople

#sothattheworldwillbeamorebitterplace

#perhapsthemostimportanthashtagyouwilltakeawayfromthispost

#ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHH

#bitterhashtagben

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57 thoughts on “#ANALLHASTAGPOSTTOMAKEYOURMONDAYBITTER

  1. I have a few friends who post exactly like the top picture with the zillion hashtags, and sometimes I want to dump them all on a computerless desert island for awhile. Knowing them though, they’d just start sending out zillions of messages-in-bottles that all said things like:
    #omg #stuckonanisland #help #SOS #oceanisprettythough #beachlife #yaycoconuts

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  2. #thispost #IHateHashtags #mylastpostprobablysucked #IHateTheBeach #beachbitch #bitterbeachbitch #wherestheRedStripe #wifewontbuymewhiskey #wtf #comeonlotteryticket #sendmetothebeach #redstripeandwhiskey #airconditioner #dontforgetmylaptop #whenIWinTheLottery #IllBuyANewFuckingLaptop #thisLaptopSucks

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    • I love it. I so totally wrote this for you. Actually no I didn’t. I think your hashtag game is strong, I just find the ones that think stringing a long thing together is helpful at all. Ha!

      Like

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