Fight the Power Friday Giftures

 

I’ve always fancied myself to be a bit of a rebel. Not an outward rebel that fights against society or wears hipster clothes, but a subtle shake of the fist in the air when other people aren’t looking. Like when someone tells me I shouldn’t eat pizza every Friday, or that we should love trees because they valuable and are our friends, or that I should write a motivational or humorous blog. Growing up in small time South Dakota, I was supposed to like pop or country music, but the first time I heard Run DMC, I decided that rap was my jam even though I couldn’t figure out words for a song. Public Enemy was my favorite group growing up and my favorite song was Fight the Power, because in my bitter heart I’ve always fought against the powers.

Maybe it’s the tiny rebel in me that makes me like it, or maybe it’s just the dope beats, but here we are 26 years after the song came out and the other day I bought it again on Itunes. It’s never felt more appropriate than this week, when I’ve had to cover for four different people missing from my department that I just wanted to fight the powers that be. And maybe these Friday Giftures will inspire you to fight the powers that be in your life, you big rebels you.

This lifting station is tired of getting thrown around…

The sfdf

…and isn’t gonna take it anymore.

Speaking of tired…

sdfd

…this tire wheel not be denied anymore.

No, I’m not…

Sdfdf

…going in the basket….

I’m not going to…

sdfd

…drink with a straw….

I’m not going to…

sfdf

…stay on target….

I’m not going to…

sdfdf

…make sure the floor is safe for the baby…

I’m not going to do my gymnastic routine…

sfdf

…at the gym like everyone else.

Or skate a dramatic routine like everyone else…

sdad

…I’m going for a comedic performance instead.

You can’t make me wait until things are safe to hop off…

sdfdf

…I’ll get off when I want, even if it squishes me.

Just because I’m not a car…

sdfdf

…doesn’t mean I can’t get whacked over the head with one of those things just like a car.

You can’t tell me I have to have a boat and waterskis…

sdfdf

…to go waterskiing. 

And if I’m really waterskiing…

sdfdf

…you can’t tell me I can’t go fishing as well. 

So to all the subtle rebels like me who are sticking it to the man(or woman), even though the man or woman doesn’t even know they are being stuck to, enjoy your rebellious weekend. Do something crazy this weekend. Tell a salesman no, sit on the couch instead of working in the yard, or stay out in the sun an extra five minutes you rebels.

ARRRGGGGHHHHHHH

Bitter Rebel Yell Ben

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43 thoughts on “Fight the Power Friday Giftures

  1. You’ve inspired me. I’m off to the furniture store with my iPad to lay in bed all day and watch the Phillies game. Let me see, I’ll need sheets so I don’t catch anyone else’s cooties, my snore reducing pillow because who doesn’t fall asleep watching baseball, my cell phone to stare at while the visiting team bats, and some Coke to down the pizza with, because pizza is GREAT everyday. And no matter how many times the salesman asks, I will not take my shoes off as I lay on their mattresses. Do you do motivational speaking?

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    • I actually do demotivational speaking. The kind that would inspire people to never want to hear from me again. I do a powerfully bad and monotone voice. And yeah, whenever I can’t get to sleep I imagine a baseball game and I snooze off almost immediately.

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  2. All good ones, but I loved the waterskier with no boat or skis–how on earth did he do that? pretty cool until the ending… Enjoy your bitter weekend. It’s raining here so no yard work. Boo hoo, too bad. 🙂

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  3. My rebellion is that I’ve never gotten any piercings (not even ears) nor tattoos, so when the whole world is pierced and tattooed I’ll be the one the sheep worship as different.
    Everyone rebels in their own quiet unassuming way…. Introverts of the world stand up and be counted. Or not. We might get noticed.

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  4. I can relate to having a rebellious attitude. Sometimes I’m such a rebel that I end up rebelling against rebellion itself … which I guess then makes me part of the establishment.

    So then I have to rebel against rebellion against rebellion. And then my rebellious attitude can’t be matched. Unless someone else rebels against rebellion against rebellion against rebellion.

    Which would be OK, because that would make them part of the establishment, and I could rebel against them.

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  5. That settles it, I’ll do it, I’ll be a rebel! From now on, I’ll wear all my clothes inside out, put my socks on… OVER my shoes, and wear my glasses in reverse, but all in a more understated way so as not to draw attention to myself.

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  6. Sorry about the Spurs. Not really. Does that help up your Bitterness Quotient? But back to the gifs. I never get tired of watching people look ridiculous. Over and over again. Bliss indeed!

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    • Yeah it makes me bitter that they lost, but I don’t expect anyone to feel sorry for them or me.
      Back to the gifs. They are pretty much the best because you can relive someone’s misery for eternity. It’s like Dante’s inferno or something. Someday I hope to start my own Gif company, where all we do is find short disasters and film them. Maybe make a long movie about them.

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