I think we give out way too many standing ovations. Why aren't we more picky when it comes to doing them? And once one person stands because they kind of liked something, now the rest of us are forced to stand too, even if we didn't like it? And what if only one person … Continue reading Standing No-vation Bitter Friday Giftures
food
My Bitter Guest Post on Suzie’s Speaks
I know your Sunday is super busy filled with activities such as laying around, getting ready for brunch at 11 am and hanging out on your 40 foot yachts, but I'm going to ask you to interrupt your super important plans and spare a square of your time and ask you to run(or walk or … Continue reading My Bitter Guest Post on Suzie’s Speaks
Pizza Ordering 101 – A New Course offered At Ben’s B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness
Two disturbing trends lately. 1) It has come to my attention that I haven't created any new classes for Ben's B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness lately and that isn't okay and B), it has come to my attention that not everyone in the world knows how to order pizza. It is imperative you know how to … Continue reading Pizza Ordering 101 – A New Course offered At Ben’s B.I.T.T.E.R. School of Bitterness
The Weapons of The Introvert
I imagine being an extrovert can be a pretty bitter and exhaustingly hard job. You are always on the offensive, trying to hunt down people to interact with, to way overtalk with; like a mosquito trying for its next human arm fix. Though somehow I'm sure even the hunt for other people is energizing to … Continue reading The Weapons of The Introvert
Weeds are more successful than me
I've always taken great pride in being really bad at things. I joke about how bad I am at math, but it really is amazing how I can't even help my 6th grade daughter with her homework. She isn't even to Algebra yet. I think it's humorous how bad I am at fixing things … Continue reading Weeds are more successful than me
Bendepence Day
The big summer holiday around these parts is July 4th, or as us Amuricans call it, "Independence Day". It's based around a war between US (or us) and some other country and it was all about who could have the biggest fireworks displays. Whoever won got to keep ownership over the Boston Starbucks Harbor and … Continue reading Bendepence Day
I Spy with my Bitter Eye something Friday Giftures
When we were young, we went on road trips for our vacations, because we liked cramming 7 people in a van and trying to get to know each other more. At least the rest of the family did. I preferred to fly first class to exotic locations like Paris, Japan, Australia, Hawaii and Indonesia. Unfortunately, … Continue reading I Spy with my Bitter Eye something Friday Giftures
The Purge
I don't know about all you, but I was pretty popular in high school. I had loads of friends(two) and among them I was like the comedian/athlete meaning I really liked telling knock knock jokes and it only took me 15 minutes to run the mile compared to their 15:05's. I had parties at my … Continue reading The Purge
Bitterecognition
Yesterday, I was painting the eaves of my house, and it brought back memories of my youth when I was an aspiring Eagle Scout, doing my Eagle Scout project. For some crazy reason, my brother and I decided to work together on a three building painting project at our county fair. An old train station, … Continue reading Bitterecognition
My Bitter Dream Jobs
Pretty much every job sucks because the pay isn't enough to justify the torture they put you through, and because they make you do things that aren't comfortable. Stuff like think, type things, not lay on the couch, not allowing your thoughts to wander, not allowing you to wear clothes that are comfortable and requiring … Continue reading My Bitter Dream Jobs
Who’s your Best Friend? Friday Giftures
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKHMqTUBQkY I see it everyday. Littered across different blogs, or on Instagram feeds, or even on the antiquated Facebook. Pictures of people with other people that aren't in their family. Not people that they work with. They are smiling in photos, or happily sitting on beach chairs, or going on hikes through the woods, or … Continue reading Who’s your Best Friend? Friday Giftures
Bringing the Thunder
I'm good at noticing patterns. Well, at least when they happen over and over and over again. That's why I did so well on recognizing patterns part of the ACT's. And when I say I did well, I mean I did better than the math and science and the apprehensive portions. Meaning I got a … Continue reading Bringing the Thunder
The Big Daddy of them all
I don't know if you know this but today is Father's Day and you know what that means. Two little kids owe me some breakfast in bed and a new jet ski because of all that fathering I've been doing for them ever since they became my little tax deductions, uh little wonderful kids. They … Continue reading The Big Daddy of them all
Resting on your Laurels Friday Bitter Giftures
I live and work with a bunch of overachievers. Did you know there are actually people in the world that want more than to sit on their couch and eat pizza and play video games? I have no idea how exhausting it must be to have goals to do stuff other than that. What … Continue reading Resting on your Laurels Friday Bitter Giftures
A Three Hour Tour
I'm not from Arizona or the south where the temperatures are apparently slightly higher than the sun's core, and I'm not from DC or California where the traffic is slower than the parking lot at Walmart on Black Friday, but I am from Seattle where the sun doesn't shine(where people keep telling me to go) … Continue reading A Three Hour Tour
The Bitter Power of Editing
I was talking to my writer's group the other day and told them I could not make it to the group this week because I was too lazy and wanted to sleep in on Saturday. They totally would have believed me if I actually did say that, but unfortunately, that isn't what I really told … Continue reading The Bitter Power of Editing
Bendiana Jones and the Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness
The Bendiana Jones bitterventures continue in the third installment of the franchise in Bendiana Jones and The Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness. It all starts in a typically boring day in Bitter Bendiana's life as he prepares for a vacation in late May. As he ties up the last of the loose ends at work, … Continue reading Bendiana Jones and the Crystal Geyser of Forgetfulness
Mowing down the Friday Giftures
A blade of grass. Swaying back and forth in the rhythm of the summer night's warm breeze. Not a care in the world as it feels the purple sunset's warmth cascade down its back. Thoughts of summer's past. Soft music hangs in the air, in concert with crickets chirping. The blade feels peace, serenity. … Continue reading Mowing down the Friday Giftures
Becoming Bitterly Famous
I've always wanted to be famous. Since at least 2012. That's why I created this blog. I want my face on every billboard, my name in lights on broadway, on every credit in every television show, my name in every movie's IMDB. I want to be so famous that you won't even be able to … Continue reading Becoming Bitterly Famous
Santa Clause was at to our Garage Sale
"He knows when you are sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been good or bitter, so be bitter for goodness sake." - Bitter Ben stealing lyrics from a beloved child's song and exploiting it for his Blog's sake. It was 85 degrees and sunny yesterday, which never happens in Seattle … Continue reading Santa Clause was at to our Garage Sale
Ben's Bitter Blog 