I think we give out way too many standing ovations. Why aren't we more picky when it comes to doing them? And once one person stands because they kind of liked something, now the rest of us are forced to stand too, even if we didn't like it? And what if only one person … Continue reading Standing No-vation Bitter Friday Giftures
Fiction
Bringing Home Stray’s
I know this isn't a very popular thing to say, but don't worry, because I've never been very popular. I've never been a big animal lover. My family has had pets before, but I've never been personally responsible for them. We had a cat that annoyed the heck out of me when I was growing … Continue reading Bringing Home Stray’s
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Dragonflies vs. Hummingbirds
Yesterday while we were watching my son play his first tackle football game, it was super hot and sunny, so we decided to retreat to some shade so I wouldn't get sunburned for the seventh time this summer. Utter failure as always. When we finally sat down, we realized that we were in the middle … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: Dragonflies vs. Hummingbirds
The Fallacy of Bitter Friday Giftures
There is this assumption that the only reason I do Friday Giftures is so that I can steal find the greatest gifs from all over the interland and steal them for the purpose of me making fun of them. And that assumption is completely true. I've stated many times that it is my goal … Continue reading The Fallacy of Bitter Friday Giftures
The Unlimited Pool of Dada
Once upon a time, a tall, clumsy, bitter farmer lived in a dark land near the forest. Though privileged in many ways compared to many in the land, he always found a way to complain about how bitter his life was. The cloud covered the sun too much, the air contained a foul stench, there … Continue reading The Unlimited Pool of Dada
Bitter Friday Party Giftures
Friday's are normally associated with pizza, being lazy at work, and Parties. One of these things are not like the other. I've never much liked parties, because I don't like loud, I don't like people, I don't like talking and I don't like being on someone else's couch. In fact, the only good thing about … Continue reading Bitter Friday Party Giftures
Bitter Late than Never Friday Giftures
I'm pretty sure the internet/blogosphere/Wordpress has learned to adjust to life without me, but I have not learned to adjust to life without it. Even though I have taken an involuntary break for 4 days without blogging which I would never do on purpose, my thoughts are never far from bitterness. Every little slight, … Continue reading Bitter Late than Never Friday Giftures
My Bitter Guest Post on Suzie’s Speaks
I know your Sunday is super busy filled with activities such as laying around, getting ready for brunch at 11 am and hanging out on your 40 foot yachts, but I'm going to ask you to interrupt your super important plans and spare a square of your time and ask you to run(or walk or … Continue reading My Bitter Guest Post on Suzie’s Speaks
The Weapons of The Introvert
I imagine being an extrovert can be a pretty bitter and exhaustingly hard job. You are always on the offensive, trying to hunt down people to interact with, to way overtalk with; like a mosquito trying for its next human arm fix. Though somehow I'm sure even the hunt for other people is energizing to … Continue reading The Weapons of The Introvert
Weeds are more successful than me
I've always taken great pride in being really bad at things. I joke about how bad I am at math, but it really is amazing how I can't even help my 6th grade daughter with her homework. She isn't even to Algebra yet. I think it's humorous how bad I am at fixing things … Continue reading Weeds are more successful than me
Bendepence Day
The big summer holiday around these parts is July 4th, or as us Amuricans call it, "Independence Day". It's based around a war between US (or us) and some other country and it was all about who could have the biggest fireworks displays. Whoever won got to keep ownership over the Boston Starbucks Harbor and … Continue reading Bendepence Day
I Spy with my Bitter Eye something Friday Giftures
When we were young, we went on road trips for our vacations, because we liked cramming 7 people in a van and trying to get to know each other more. At least the rest of the family did. I preferred to fly first class to exotic locations like Paris, Japan, Australia, Hawaii and Indonesia. Unfortunately, … Continue reading I Spy with my Bitter Eye something Friday Giftures
The Purge
I don't know about all you, but I was pretty popular in high school. I had loads of friends(two) and among them I was like the comedian/athlete meaning I really liked telling knock knock jokes and it only took me 15 minutes to run the mile compared to their 15:05's. I had parties at my … Continue reading The Purge
Bitterecognition
Yesterday, I was painting the eaves of my house, and it brought back memories of my youth when I was an aspiring Eagle Scout, doing my Eagle Scout project. For some crazy reason, my brother and I decided to work together on a three building painting project at our county fair. An old train station, … Continue reading Bitterecognition
My Bitter Dream Jobs
Pretty much every job sucks because the pay isn't enough to justify the torture they put you through, and because they make you do things that aren't comfortable. Stuff like think, type things, not lay on the couch, not allowing your thoughts to wander, not allowing you to wear clothes that are comfortable and requiring … Continue reading My Bitter Dream Jobs
Who’s your Best Friend? Friday Giftures
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YKHMqTUBQkY I see it everyday. Littered across different blogs, or on Instagram feeds, or even on the antiquated Facebook. Pictures of people with other people that aren't in their family. Not people that they work with. They are smiling in photos, or happily sitting on beach chairs, or going on hikes through the woods, or … Continue reading Who’s your Best Friend? Friday Giftures
The Bitter Dream World
When you are super lazy like me, and then are forced into doing actual work, you tend to get a little tired. Since naps are pretty much a requirement for me to be at my all time minimumest, I have to find another way to get them so I can be at my bitter best. … Continue reading The Bitter Dream World
Bringing the Thunder
I'm good at noticing patterns. Well, at least when they happen over and over and over again. That's why I did so well on recognizing patterns part of the ACT's. And when I say I did well, I mean I did better than the math and science and the apprehensive portions. Meaning I got a … Continue reading Bringing the Thunder
The Big Daddy of them all
I don't know if you know this but today is Father's Day and you know what that means. Two little kids owe me some breakfast in bed and a new jet ski because of all that fathering I've been doing for them ever since they became my little tax deductions, uh little wonderful kids. They … Continue reading The Big Daddy of them all
Resting on your Laurels Friday Bitter Giftures
I live and work with a bunch of overachievers. Did you know there are actually people in the world that want more than to sit on their couch and eat pizza and play video games? I have no idea how exhausting it must be to have goals to do stuff other than that. What … Continue reading Resting on your Laurels Friday Bitter Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 