The Fallacy of Bitter Friday Giftures

 

There is this assumption that the only reason I do Friday Giftures is so that I can steal find the greatest gifs from all over the interland and steal them for the purpose of me making fun of them. And that assumption is completely true. I’ve stated many times that it is my goal in life (other than sitting on the couch eating pizza) to start my own gifture film company.  A crew of people that wouldn’t get paid, would follow me across this earth and possibly to space to film the citizens of earth and space doing stupid things and making that into a website. It would be very fulfilling work and one that millions would watch endlessly on a loop. In fact, I want to be the first ever director of a feature length gifture made totally of all your idiot mistakes. I’m just hoping that no one steals my idea because it will be revolutionary and it will change the film industry. While you are being patient for my first film, this post will have to do. Or you can just view every single Friday Gifture post I do and watch them sequentially to get an idea of what the film will be like. In the meantime, be bitter about this way shorter version of my first film.

Before we start the show…

...let's get our favorite snacks from concessions.

…let’s get our favorite snacks from concessions.

Let’s make sure we don’t interrupt anyone…

...by turning off all our electronic devices.

…by turning off all our electronic devices.

Let’s cozy up to our…

...cozy

…significant other…

And make sure that we…

...

…clear the aisles of any debris. 

And make sure all pets…

And make

…are probably stowed in the right areas. 

And that they are properly buckled…

and

…that means you too Snickers.  Click or Ticket.

Alright…

...now let's jump right in.

…ready to jump right in?

Yeah…

...me neither.

…me neither.

Let’s slow the action way down…

...or not.

…or not.

Maybe it is time to…

...take a step back.

…take a step back.

Or better yet…

not flip out.

…not flip out.

And now it is…

...time to get down.

…time to get down.

Okay did you enjoy our little show? Oh I’m sorry was the show too short for you? Well, I’m sorry. I guess maybe next time you will pay a little more than free for the movie. Maybe then you will get a 2 minute show instead of this brief 1 minute show. Maybe next time you will be bitter about paying $15 for the movie and $20.00 for the popcorn and drinks. At least it will be over soon and you can get to complaining to the manager sooner.

ARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH

Bitter Fallacy Friday Giftures Ben

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25 thoughts on “The Fallacy of Bitter Friday Giftures

  1. Pingback: Fallacious is always better when it’s bitter. Thanks Ben…The Fallacy of Bitter Friday Giftures | Candace Vianna Writes

  2. Ben awhile (I’m sure you’ve never heard that before). It is good to be back and see this world. My path as a high school teacher has successfully made the transition from bitterness to incredulity regarding the massacre of critical thinking, expression, and creativity that is our current education system. Oops. I guess there is still a little bitterness left in there after all. Keep up the bitter work.

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  3. Well, I wish I could join your crew of grifture people but being that I’m already working for you for free in so many other capacities, I’ll have to pass on this one. By the way, when does the action get good on these things? The plot line is pretty thin!

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