It's that bitter time of the year where stinky little goblins dressed up as kids dressed up as hoodlums start invading neighborhoods and asking for free candy. Holding their little pillowcases out, saying Trick or Treat. They are trying to get something from my good candy stash, but I know better than that. I always … Continue reading Bitter Haunted Houses
Fiction
Bitter Bending Machines Friday Giftures
Vending machines are way of life for many. People are so busy with their stupid jobs or running from work to school to practice to the grocery store to practice to home, that they don't have time to sit down and eat a meal. Well, it's like that for all of you, I assume. … Continue reading Bitter Bending Machines Friday Giftures
My Bitter Exotic Travel
Judging by all the things I've been talking about doing lately, you probably think I've been working really hard. You know, like sitting in the stands watching football, or sitting in class pretending to pay attention with my eyes closed. Or sitting in a study area, pretending to type papers, or sitting in our van … Continue reading My Bitter Exotic Travel
Bitter Rivalry of the Week – Nephew vs. Nephew
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7xG9TfteJ0 I've talked a lot about football lately, which is kind of crazy to me, because I only have a passing interest in it. I enjoy watching the long pass plays, but you know the thing about football? Pro football is owned by billionaires, played my millionaires, and fantasy played by thousandaires. I get them … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week – Nephew vs. Nephew
Scary Season Friday Giftures
According to my daughter, we are in spooky season. It's kind of funny that she seems to like it so much considering that she is afraid of just about everything. But hey, aren't we all? Afraid of rejection, and fear itself and hair in our food? If it wasn't for all of the stuff … Continue reading Scary Season Friday Giftures
Humans are not meant to work in groups
Let's say you are on an African safari. You know, when you can scrape together $5000 for a trip. Let's say you actually remembered your binoculars too. So you pull out those new $200 pair of binoculars on your Safari and you see a pack of lions far enough away that they can't reasonably catch … Continue reading Humans are not meant to work in groups
Birthday Bitterness Friday Giftures
Once again another birthday came and went and I got nothing. I don't know what everyone's problem is, but I'm getting a little sick of my son having a birthday and no one getting me any presents. It's kind of selfish that everyone pays attention to him and not me all day. I mean … Continue reading Birthday Bitterness Friday Giftures
Bitter Viral Post
I'm not sure why so many people are going to share this post, because the content is just terrible. It's not funny or inspirational or worth anyone's time, but for some reason you want to share it with your friends. It has nothing to do with the fact that I am hypnotizing you, because I … Continue reading Bitter Viral Post
The Prodigal Son Returns Friday Giftures
They say absence makes the heart grows fonder and most of the time that totally isn't true. Think about it, when you leave your co-workers, do you miss them so bad that you forgo any of your weekend plans to be with them? If you do, you should probably get another job, because you … Continue reading The Prodigal Son Returns Friday Giftures
Bitter Ben Branding
I've been paying way too much attention in class which is kind of disappointing because I thought I would come to this school and just slide right into my old freshman year habits, which was sleep in all the time, play pranks on the other dorm hall and flunk classes with my sunglasses on. Apparently … Continue reading Bitter Ben Branding
Screw it up Friday Giftures
Mercury must have been covered up by Neptune, and Saturn must have put a ring on Pluto on the day I was doing my school schedule, because somehow I found a way to get a Friday completely free on my class schedule. This opportunity only comes around once in a lifetime, so I have … Continue reading Screw it up Friday Giftures
8000 Bitter Followers, A Prize and a Demand of all my Followers
It's been a long time coming, but the 8000th lunatic has finally followed my blog. Congratulations to you, The Secret Shopper blog for becoming the 8000th follower. Because you are the 8000th, you have won a new car. It should be arriving in your parking lot in a few days. The only problem is that … Continue reading 8000 Bitter Followers, A Prize and a Demand of all my Followers
Tornado Friday Giftures
I am so far behind on the news, that I just found out that not far from here, north of Salt Lake, there was a tornado that caused a quite a stir. Doesn't surprise me in the least because there has been a tornado of activity around here, which sucks because I am a … Continue reading Tornado Friday Giftures
My Bitter Expendable Life
In the midst of all of it, the craziness, the new classes, the new schedule, the getting up at 5:30 am in the morning again, to the going to bed at midnight, to the projects, the football practice and homework times 3, I found time to watch of all movies, The Expendables 3. Let's go … Continue reading My Bitter Expendable Life
Rolling the Dice Friday Giftures
I feel like I failed you this week. Not only have I done almost no posting, but I also did a super serious one that hardly contained any bitterness other than to be bitter about younger people than me, trying to teach me something. I don't know if it was opposite day, or I … Continue reading Rolling the Dice Friday Giftures
From the Young Padawan’s
Recently, I have had several series of dreams that have had continuous plot lines that have gone to two or three parter's. The common thread through all of them is that they are things I've done before. It was places I've previously worked, places I've already visited and things I've already experienced. The twist on … Continue reading From the Young Padawan’s
My observations at the Football Game as People Watcher(I mean judger)
As a bachelor degree holding, magna cum laude student of the introversion arts, I major in people watching. From malls to museums, from forests to forts, I love to observe people in their natural or unnatural habitats. Not only am I good at it, but it requires little effort to see people do whatever it … Continue reading My observations at the Football Game as People Watcher(I mean judger)
Fry em up in a pan Bitter Fry-day Giftures
Frying things up in a pan is not a good idea for a person like me because the results are usually disastrous. Probably because smoke bellows to warn the neighbors, fire alarms go off and a new color of burnt black is invented between charcoal and crow. It's usually best to find a Red … Continue reading Fry em up in a pan Bitter Fry-day Giftures
Bitter House on the Prairie
Every time I have to go outside to do some manual labor, ie work on my pizza garden, cut down a tree, or mow a lawn, I feel like I'm one of those freaking kids in Little House on the Prairie. Goodness gracious, it's 2016. Isn't there an app for this yet? I think the … Continue reading Bitter House on the Prairie
Bitter Rivalry of the Week: College Football vs. 3rd Grade Football
I was an odd duckling growing up. I guess that makes sense when I was born in California and lived there until I was 6, then moved to New York and lived there until I was 8. Then moved to South Dakota until I was 18. That kind of cultural yanking can make a … Continue reading Bitter Rivalry of the Week: College Football vs. 3rd Grade Football
Ben's Bitter Blog 