The Prodigal Son Returns Friday Giftures

/ bensbitterblog

 

They say absence makes the heart grows fonder and most of the time that totally isn’t true. Think about it, when you leave your co-workers, do you miss them so bad that you forgo any of your weekend plans to be with them? If you do, you should probably get another job, because you aren’t supposed to like your co-workers that much.

There is a situation where absence does make your heart grow fonder though. Several years ago, we decided to quit Netflix because we thought it was expensive and repetitive. We had cable and the only person that was watching it was my son and he was watching Rugrats, which if you don’t have kids is the THE most annoying show in the world. It has babies that can talk, but in only annoying nasally sounding voices. Ones that make Lloyd Christmas’s “most annoying sound in the world” sound like a child’s lullaby.

Fast forward to our time with no cable, and only limited offerings on Amazon Prime and all of a sudden, we welcome back Netflix into our lives. We welcome him back after 15 years of Netflix being off in the big city, and chilling. Amazon was pretty upset when Netflix came back, because Amazon had been the good son the whole time. But when Netflix arrived in our arms penniless and messy, we brought him in and had a party. Just like we are not going to do with the rest of you this fine Bitter Friday Giftures day.

The first thing we need to do is…

Let's start

…set up some breakfast.

And if success comes with skim milk…

...

…I’d rather be a failure.

Ummm…

...

…not really.

Next…

n

…it’s time to jump into the day. 

Try to get…

...

…get moving a little bit. 

Do… 

...a little stretching.

…a little stretching.

Get into your… 

..in your commuting vehicle of choice.

…commuting vehicle of choice.

And get to work…

...get

…whatever way you can.

Try to climb…

...

…the corporate ladder…

Try to get some…

...lunch with the co-workers.

…lunch with the co-workers.

Come back for the… 

...for the afternoon grind...

…afternoon grind…

And then…

...driver home 

…drive home.

Then when you finally make it home you realize that your Netflix free trial was over and he decided to leave where there was more money. Uggh.

Bitter Netflixing it Up Ben

18 thoughts on “The Prodigal Son Returns Friday Giftures”

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  3. That kid who jumped into the glass topped patio table, must have something wrong with his “medulla oblongata” like that professor in The Waterboy said. There is a future leader of the free world in the making!

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  4. So wait, do you or don’t you have netflix? If so, here r my suggestions: OITNB, Man In The High Tower or Castle, something like that, Chelsea Handlers Uganda Be Kidding Me and Rug Rats-Chuckie’s Demise. Ok, I made that up to see if you were paying attention. 😉

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    • I now have Netflix. It is a little bit like swallowing water from a fire hydrant. I have so many options now and so few time to watch them. I have like 10 or 15 comedy specials I want to see as well as the whole office series to watch all over again, as well as all your recommendations. What am I going to do with all these options.

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