I spent a lot of time this summer swimming in pools. We went from water parks with amusement park rides, to water parks with lazy rivers to a pool that just had a diving board. Several of those times we ended up getting wet. In fact, did you know that when you go swimming, … Continue reading Some amount of reasons why swimming makes me bitter
Entertainment
From the BitterBenzoac Era to the Bitter Twitter Era
Let me just say this so you can be bitter at me. The post you are going to read below (or not) was from almost a year ago. I am both too lazy and also too busy to do something new today, so just deal with it. Also, just so you know, most of you … Continue reading From the BitterBenzoac Era to the Bitter Twitter Era
Keep Calm and Remain Bitter
Oh..hey. What's up? Just a little reminder...whether your wi-fi isn't working, your in-laws are in town, or your back hurts because you fell off your roof trying to take down your old satellite and a bear appeared along with a honeycomb of bees and scared the crap out of you...you should remain bitter. Whether … Continue reading Keep Calm and Remain Bitter
The Rise of the Blanket Fort
When I dream, I often dream big. In the literal sense. Back when I was in school, I would have these dreams about this ginormous school that had 8,000 classes and that would take a speed train just to get from one class to the other. The lockers were the size of a house … Continue reading The Rise of the Blanket Fort
Bitter Complaint Day
Welcome back on the most bitter of days. A Tuesday (worst day of the week) after a holiday (always more work to make up for) after a bitter summer(now begins the bitter fall). Today, I thought I would try something new. If you have ever read my About Page, you know that the reason … Continue reading Bitter Complaint Day
Nap and Food Bitter Friday Giftures
I believe that some people are taking this long Labor Day weekend off a little early by taking Friday off (jerks) and of course, that makes me bitter. There are a lot of reasons why you should not take off early, but I can't think of any. This means I will be stewing in my … Continue reading Nap and Food Bitter Friday Giftures
Hybrid Kid’s Crap for Sale!
Unless you know some kid that constantly watches Cartoon Network, Disney Channel, Sprout or Nickelodeon this post may not make sense. Let's just say you do know what Snuggies are thought, whether you want to admit it or not. When they first came out, you laughed at them and said, "There is no way I'm going to ever … Continue reading Hybrid Kid’s Crap for Sale!
The Keys to Bitter Miscommunication
This weekend, through some lucky circumstances (my daughter being a rockstar despite one half of her parents being a complete bittertastrophe), I got the chance to attend a Seattle Seahawks pre-season game, much to the chagrin of many people around me who are actual Seahawks fans. They are the most popular ticket around town (even … Continue reading The Keys to Bitter Miscommunication
Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
I've been told by television that if you exercise and eat right for like a year, you will lose half your body weight. Your life will "be transformed", everyone will "fake" like you, and you will "find the person of your dreams" and you will get the "promotion you've been striving for", you will get … Continue reading Let Us(By Us I mean You) Get Some Exercise this Weekend Bitterness Giftures
Hiccups
I went to lunch yesterday for my anniversary and must have had some bad combination of Chicken Alfredo, too much strawberry passion fruit limeade, and too little willpower to stop eating the unlimited breadsticks (I was just testing their limits), because when I left that place, I was sporting a nasty case of the hiccups (or as … Continue reading Hiccups
Raining on your Parade Gifs
It's another Friday and I'm sure you all have some great expectations about what you are going to do this weekend. Maybe you will go to the beach, see a new movie, or go camping. Before you go and get all excited about your weekend and all your high expectations for it, let me go ahead … Continue reading Raining on your Parade Gifs
10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
A couple of days ago, I was watching the Bachelor's Paradise. These are people that have been on the Bachelor and "didn't win" in their particular cycle as if not getting engaged to the one girl or boy amongst all the contestants is losing. What we all know is that in the end is that they … Continue reading 10 Things Ready for a Bitter Break Up
The Supermoon
I spent most of the day Saturday out in the middle of nowhere Washington, at a family reunion. It was at a Great Uncle or something's house that had a sprawling 10-15 acres (I have no idea how big acres are. Let's just say it was a big yard.) In the back, there was a … Continue reading The Supermoon
The Bitter Daddy Long Legs
Shark week just started and for some reason people are fascinated. Might be that they love Sharknado with all in terrifying special effects or the fact that they want to see someone get swallowed by a shark, or that the summer sun has finally gotten to them and they just can't think straight anymore. Sharks may be … Continue reading The Bitter Daddy Long Legs
Forecasting Friday Bitter Giftures
I'm not good at a lot of things. I can't snowboard (at least that I know of), I keep my desk arranged in a way that allows important things to get lost, and I am certainly not good at smiling. They say that frowning uses way more muscles than smiling, but have you seen my … Continue reading Forecasting Friday Bitter Giftures
Bitter Pain
Two weeks ago while on vacation, I was at a small, local waterpark, doing the thing that I was born to do when I'm not laying on a couch. As soon as I got my kids set up so they wouldn't drown, I got myself in the endless cycle of a lazy river. I … Continue reading Bitter Pain
The Circus is in Town and The Clowns are coming out to Play Giftures
Ladies and Bitterman, idiots and tools, welcome to the Bitter Circus! I am the Bitter Circus Ringmaster, Bitter Ben. I have Gifs that will amaze and astound you and will make you wonder why the heck you decided to come to this circus! I know many of you came here for a show and I … Continue reading The Circus is in Town and The Clowns are coming out to Play Giftures
Bitter Film Review of Gravity Starring Sandra Bullock
There are bad movies that are so bad that they are still good. Then there are good movies that are so good they are really bad. Then there are movies like Gravity starring Sandra Bullock and kind of George Clooney. Yes, I am talking about a movie that came out last October and made … Continue reading Bitter Film Review of Gravity Starring Sandra Bullock
In case you missed it…because you didn’t really miss much
If you a regular reader of this crap, uh I mean this blog, then you certainly didn't miss much by skipping out this week. In fact, I didn't really miss much either, deciding that watching paint dry and grass grow much more interesting that deciding to do a blog for the amusement of no one. … Continue reading In case you missed it…because you didn’t really miss much
Wasted Friday Giftures
Time. Energy. Resources. Money. These are things that are limited and valuable. These are also things that I have dedicated my life to wasting. I have put my absolute minimum into making sure that all my resources have been put into the absolute worst possible use. If there was a bad idea, I've funded it. … Continue reading Wasted Friday Giftures
Ben's Bitter Blog 