I don't know if you've noticed, but when it comes to the DC Universe, there are two Co-Alpha Dogs. The two of them are so strikingly different, that they would be on par with how different my two kids are. You know the two I'm talking about. Superman and Batman. Before all the epic DC … Continue reading Phantom Zone Bitterness
comedy
Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Back in 1996, the NBA released their list of the Top 50 players of all time and as soon as they did, they created a debate among fans. It got them what they wanted, which was a lot of attention to the game. At the time, most people agreed that Michael Jordan was the GOAT, … Continue reading Top 10 Lists of all Top 10 Lists I’m on BFG’s
Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
A long time ago, in a land not so far away, 3 other guys and I did a not-planned-very-well-at-all day trip to a canyon, in which they decided to be dumb and drive down into ravine in early May. In the location of which I speak, it was a steep climb back up and snow … Continue reading Dumb Ways to Die BFG’s
Playing in the Sandbox BFG’s
One of my first memories was when I 5 years old. My mom gave me and my younger brother some Superman and Batman pajamas. We were so excited about our PJ's that we decided to start fighting crime right away. This was back in the late 70's, where parents let their kids roam freely, but … Continue reading Playing in the Sandbox BFG’s
There’s something in your Feed Bitterness
It has been an egg-cellent couple of months. Please DO NOT confuse egg-cellent with excellent. The last few months have been horrific because as you know, there has been a giant increase in the price of eggs. Since I'm not a vegetarian or vegan and I don't have bad taste, I eat a lot of … Continue reading There’s something in your Feed Bitterness
AI Got Played BFG’s
I'm not good at a lot of things, but I am a master manipulator. Not so much people, but words. My craft is about placing a letter here, a word there, and misdirect over there, and all of a sudden people are crying, mobs are raging, and everyone is becoming more bitter. I like to … Continue reading AI Got Played BFG’s
Slightly Off Balance Bitterness
I have no balance in my life, and it's my right leg's fault. When I was in junior high, whenever I wanted to participate in a sport, I had to get the yearly physical. Junior high was already the worst and most embarrassing and humiliating part of my life. The physical was just the cherry … Continue reading Slightly Off Balance Bitterness
The Bitter Cure BFG’s
I have a really low opinion of doctor's, which I why I've spent most of my life avoiding them. It blows my mind that a person spends so much time in school learning how to help sick people, and how useless they are at helping sick people. It would be more helpful if they skipped … Continue reading The Bitter Cure BFG’s
The Gym Hasn’t Been Working Out BFG’s
The Gym hasn't been working out, which is ironic, because the gym wants everyone else to workout. (Holding for applause on my dad joke...aaaand back to the post.) My wife likes to make fun of me, because I have all these routines and when she sidetracks them, I get a little cranky and bitter. I … Continue reading The Gym Hasn’t Been Working Out BFG’s
Mediocrates Bitterness
I didn't get a proper education growing up in South Dakota, because my English teachers forgot to teach me about the Greek Gods. I never learned about the Italian Gods (my favorite Italian God is Little Caeser), or the Brazilian Gods either. If it wasn't for video games and TV, I never would have known … Continue reading Mediocrates Bitterness
My 10% Rule BFG’s
I'm going to let you all in on a little secret. Actually, I don't know if I want to do that, because I heard sharing a secret with a person turns them into a friend and I definitely don't need or want one of those. Friends are too messy and they always betray you anyways. … Continue reading My 10% Rule BFG’s
Rewriting History BFG’s
Remember when your teachers lied to you about needing math because you would need it in your career someday? And how you laugh at your teacher now, because not only do you have a calculator on your phone, computer and Ipad, but you have Excel at work to help you figure out any possible mathematical … Continue reading Rewriting History BFG’s
Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
I've been in the working industry for a long time. When I was a kid, my dad told me that there was no such thing as a free lunch. Since I was born at 8 pm at night, I was already proven as the laziest family member because I didn't have my first job until … Continue reading Working on Christmas Bitter Friday Giftures
Man’s Search for Comedy
I've spent the last 49 years cultivating a wit so sharp that onions cry when I cut them. Ninja's use my wit to sharpen their blades. Comedians wear ski masks and avoid detection from my brain's security system just to steal jokes from me. I feel like Usain Bolt slowing down for a turtle when … Continue reading Man’s Search for Comedy
Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Since I like to avoid people as much as possible, I started watching YouTube videos on my headphones at work, so I could zone people out. One of the Youtubers I started watching was Casey Neistat. Some people might know him for a few viral videos he made, but he was mostly popular because he … Continue reading Office Drone Bitter Friday Giftures
Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Expressions are meant to sound catchy and easy to remember, and as a means for uncreative people to fill up their Instagram feeds. A long time ago, I thought quotes were motivational. This was back when I was a single celled organism, and I had no idea how to be creative. But as soon as … Continue reading Don’t be an Idiom Bitterness
Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
There is a popular song out right now called Victoria's Secret by a singer named Jax. If you've never heard it, or paid attention to the lyrics (which I almost never do), it's basically a parody about all the things that Victoria's Secret "teaches" society about what women should look like. In one of the … Continue reading Thunder Thighs Bitter Friday Giftures
Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
When I was young, I loved the Transformers. Coming home to watch the Transformers was my reward for making it through a hard 6-hour day of school. One of my favorite characters was the advanced scout, Mirage, because he could turn invisible and would warn the Autobots of an early attack by Decepticons. I must … Continue reading Scouts Make Me Shout Bitterness
The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger
At my last count there were 8 billion, 400 million, 538 thousand, 436 people on earth at this very moment. Oh shoot, we just lost a few. And some crying kids were just born. Dang it! That throws off my count. Don't worry, I'll get the final count by the end of this blog. But … Continue reading The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger
The Tetris Effect BFG’s
The reason why I love video games so much is that I've been involved in a lot of video games firsts. In 1979, when home video games were just tiny little babies, I got an Atari 2600. I was the first person I knew to have one of them. I had no idea that that … Continue reading The Tetris Effect BFG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 