Some people would say that I'm a bit of a hermit. Others would call me offputting, and still others would say that I can't stand other people, other people's kids, kids or humans. Some people would even say that I wear headphones almost all the time in order to avoid talking to people. To those … Continue reading Free Speech Bitter Friday Giftures
comedy
Epic Music Bitterness
I can count on my fingers and maybe one set of my toes the amount of extraordinary days I've had in my life. And even those extraordinary days had a lot of ordinaryness. My wedding day was pretty epic, but there were moments in the day where I was just taking a shower, or twiddling … Continue reading Epic Music Bitterness
Streaming Service Bitter Friday Giftures
Most of my workday is spent in a chair typing stuff on a computer. In the broad scope of things, it will end up being the most significant thing that someone has ever done for this world and for that, you should all be thanking me. The world would be a pretty cold, cruel place … Continue reading Streaming Service Bitter Friday Giftures
Star Girl’s Bitter Twist Ending
I've always been a bit of a contradictionist. When people liked Nike's, I wore Reeboks (maybe that was because my parents didn't want to pay for Nike's). I liked the San Antonio Spurs when everyone else in my area liked the Utah Jazz. My favorite contradiction of all is the getting up early, staying up … Continue reading Star Girl’s Bitter Twist Ending
Bitter Sisyphean Weekend Friday Giftures
As you know, my fitness program is less about walking or moving and more about "fitness whole pizza in mouth" kind of program. If moving around and getting fit was my default mode instead of resting for 8 hours at night, then I might like it. Unfortunately, I think my son has followed in my … Continue reading Bitter Sisyphean Weekend Friday Giftures
Bananas Bitter Friday Giftures
Remember when I talked about us living in a simulation a little while ago? Probably not, because you don't really think about my posts after you read them. Living in a simulation doesn't really make sense right? But then you watched the Matrix and you started to believe. One of the ways the Matrix taught … Continue reading Bananas Bitter Friday Giftures
Stealth Arts Bitter Friday Giftures
Besides the candy part, I've never been a big fan of Halloween. The part I like least is the dressing up. If I was good at making and wearing costumes, I could be making big bucks doing cosplay and going to conventions like Comic-con, or PAX. Maybe it's the fact that wearing uncomfortable, hot, sweaty … Continue reading Stealth Arts Bitter Friday Giftures
Treadmill Bitter Friday Giftures
Yesterday, I had just arrived at my gym parking lot, when my wife called. So I had to do the most amount of multitasking I could possibly do, which was walking and talking on the phone at the same time. By the time I got to the treadmill we were still talking, so I had … Continue reading Treadmill Bitter Friday Giftures
The Simulation Bitter Friday Giftures
You know the movie Free Guy with Ryan Reynolds is coming out today right? Since Ryan wasn't able to sponsor this blog post because of his ties to Mint Mobile, I'm going to sponsor it myself. Unfortunately, my bank account is being drained by these three people who are squatting in my house (they keep … Continue reading The Simulation Bitter Friday Giftures
Messenger Boy Bitter Friday Giftures
I've had a few jobs in my days as a person. The first one I had was a back yard maintenance crewperson for a Midwestern bank executive and his wife. They provided room and board from ages 0 to 18. Sometimes they would pay me $10 for the lawn mowing. Sometimes they would hug me, … Continue reading Messenger Boy Bitter Friday Giftures
Gum Confident Bitter Friday Giftures
I was one of the last people to watch a movie in a theater before the pandemic thing started 5 years ago. I remember it so clearly, because it was March 13th, maybe a couple of days after the NBA shut down. It was on Friday the 13th and the theater had maybe 6 people … Continue reading Gum Confident Bitter Friday Giftures
The Bitter Spouse that Nobody Likes
It's weird how when I was growing up, I didn't hear much about illnesses other than colds, flus and maybe typhoid fever. Probably because as a kid, I hadn't started a job, had kids myself, or learned about debt, taxes and death. But as soon as I started experiencing real stress, like making sure I … Continue reading The Bitter Spouse that Nobody Likes
Road Trippin Bitter Friday Giftures
The road trip movie is a standard Hollywood movie right of passage. Besides a couple of exceptions, (Vacation, Tommy Boy, Dumb and Dumber) they are pretty formulaic and kind of an excuse for terrible and absurd things to happen. Then at the end of the horrific trip, the participants are supposed to have learned something … Continue reading Road Trippin Bitter Friday Giftures
Gas Station Bitter Friday Giftures
For all six of you who follow me regularly, you might have noticed that I was MIA last week. That's because I was sequestered by my company to go on a long business trip. You might think that it would have been a fun trip because I was flying first class with hot towel and … Continue reading Gas Station Bitter Friday Giftures
Drive by Comedian
When I was in college, my best friend and I would go door to door to random girl's apartments and knock. When they answered we would introduce ourselves and then try to make them laugh by telling them stupid puns. Every once in a while we would get a chuckle or a courtesy laugh, and … Continue reading Drive by Comedian
Things you are Bitterly Sick Of (Besides my Blog)
I'm sure some people are going to claim they had a good holiday and they got everything they wanted and did everything they wanted and got along so well with their families or had some good time away. But as you know, being bitter is about thinking about things in a whole different way than … Continue reading Things you are Bitterly Sick Of (Besides my Blog)
Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Every afternoon, I leave my crazy job for a little bit and go to the break room.  I grab my smart phone and turn on the big screen TV and I watch that game show called Let's Make a Deal. You know, the one where people dress up like deranged lunatics on Halloween so they … Continue reading Glutton for Punishment Giftures
Clothes need to start doing more
Smart phones are useful because they do like more than one thing.  They actually do like 3 things. They text (with your permission, of course) they run apps, and they run the internet like a mini-boss. If you have a cool smart phone and don't depend on it to ignore people on a regular basis, you … Continue reading Clothes need to start doing more
Bitter Abandonment Giftures
Abandon hope all ye that read stuff on here. Â Just like my writing skills have abandoned me this week, so should you abandon your desks and workstations and computers and find bitterness in your cars, trains, planes, moped, skiis, snowboards, apparating or Time Machine Deloreans. Â Go home and grab some chips, soda, bar-b-q sauce, wings, … Continue reading Bitter Abandonment Giftures
Bitter Sell Out Giftures
It's Friday, which means we can start talking about what makes us bitter through little moving pictures. Â As you might now, the Super Bowl is coming up. Â I guess I could avoid this thing that is annoying me by just turning the station, but in the last week, I think I've only heard like zero … Continue reading Bitter Sell Out Giftures
