In high school, I had a friend that enjoyed playing basketball as much as I did. Unfortunately, we figured out pretty early that we would not be getting drafted to the NBA (because of the whole not making our high school team, not being 6'8 or being particularly good at it), so we decided that … Continue reading Reverse Engineering Bitterology Degree
entertainment
Supercomputer Bitterness
The year was 1998. It was in my final year of college. I was taking a class in Statistics with the worst teacher ever. He was a pompous, Diet Coke drinker with short man's disease. When the class started there were 60 students and by the end, it was me and 7 other students. I … Continue reading Supercomputer Bitterness
Godfather Bitterness
I had big plans for this last weekend. I was going to see Dr. Strange's Multiplex Theater of Madness, and I was going to get some supplies for my upcoming trip to Scotland. In addition, I had a LOT of couch sitting and video gaming planned. Despite my family not knowing any of that, they … Continue reading Godfather Bitterness
MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures
My brother told me a couple of months ago that he was moving into a new house. I half-heartedly told him I would help, without any intentions of doing so. Since I was responsible for making him a huge sucess in the world, (by showing him what not to do) I figured he would find … Continue reading MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures
Denim Bitterness
Last night, I missed the most important event of the season. It wasn't E3, which is something I actually care about, or CLC (you know, my favorite convention to visit every year, the Couch Laying Convention). It was the Met Gala. I've been told by my inside sources that purpose of the Met Gala is … Continue reading Denim Bitterness
Pivoting BFG’s
I used to like sports when I was young, because all my joints hadn't quite calcified yet. I started out in baseball, because they made it extra easy for young, feeble weak children. There is a ball, a bat, and a tee with a ball resting right there for anyone but a failure to hit … Continue reading Pivoting BFG’s
Social Battery
I was watching a TV show on Amazon about a teenage boy that had a father who was a superhero. His dad was from some planet that made him superpowered. When the boy was young, his father told him that someday he would inherit his superpowers and he would be super strong too. I think … Continue reading Social Battery
Forged Bitter Friday Giftures
A lot of people that watch The Office actually don't like Michael Scott (which is insane to me), because they think wasn't a great boss. The problem they had with him is that he worked so hard at being liked and being everyone's favorite comedian, that he didn't care about the work. Little did they … Continue reading Forged Bitter Friday Giftures
Bittersplaining
Being 49 isn't easy. You should ask the San Franciso 49er's. They haven't won a Super Bowl since 1994, which is when I returned home from a mission, and the next day this really slow-moving white Ford Bronco was in a police chase. I had no idea what it was because I had not really … Continue reading Bittersplaining
49 Things that Make Me Bitter
I'm one of the few billion people in the history of the world to have lived in 49 different years, 6 different decades, 2 different centuries, and 2 different millenia. If you were really bad at math and not particularly good at details you would think I was a thousand years old. And if you … Continue reading 49 Things that Make Me Bitter
Bitter Ghost Writer
I have now written over 1,350 blog post over a 10-year period. Some were bad, most were awful, and the rest were pure garbage. I'm like the Sysphus of blog writing. No matter how bad the posts get, and how negative the feedback gets, I just keep coming back for more. Any sane person would … Continue reading Bitter Ghost Writer
Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
I used to care about famous people. I looked up to them because they could memorize lines or dribble basketballs really well. Then I grew up and realized that most of them were just really suck. Most of them either got lucky, focused maniacally on one thing in detriment to anything else in their lives, … Continue reading Life Gifing Bitter Friday Gifs
Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures
I love listening to my headphones at work because it seems dangerously close to not doing work, which is my favorite thing to do. Work avoidance, both at work and at home are really great skills to have. I've always tried my best to be mediocre or less in everything I do. Yesterday, I accidentally … Continue reading Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures
Bitterness Coaching
When I was 7 years old, I was a 3-sport athlete. I was a world class goalie (I was really good at standing and watching other kids fight for the ball) a two-time no-star center in basketball (I was awesome at standing on the low block with my hand up waiting for the ball) and … Continue reading Bitterness Coaching
Batman is DC’s Spiderman Bitterness
A lot of people wonder in awe at how great I am at writing, especially considering that I've never been a big reader. I suppose I could be an adequate reader if Audible just narrated all the books to me. On the other hand, I could just have TV do all the work by narrating … Continue reading Batman is DC’s Spiderman Bitterness
Blog Burning BFG’s
My patheticness, sorry I mean, my apatheticness toward reading started at a really young age. My mom took special care to not read to me every night, because she had an infinitely more important child that she had to make a success. My sister was always more important to my parents, so of course, they … Continue reading Blog Burning BFG’s
Group Text Bitterness
In this big bitter world of ours, it is increasingly important to be a multitasker. There are too many unimportant things going on to do just one thing. Kids are aces at pulling off multitasking. They can watch Tik Tok, Snapchat their friends, play video games, watch YouTube, not clean their rooms, and forget to … Continue reading Group Text Bitterness
Pharm-assist BFG’s
Believe it or not, I was once a tall, skinny teenager. Yeah. Back in the 80's when I ate peanut butter sandwiches and played sports just for the fun of it. Playing sports was so automatic, I could play tennis when I was watching TV, or hit a baseball with one arm while punching my … Continue reading Pharm-assist BFG’s
Bitter Privacy Concerns
Back in the pre-pandemic days (elementary school), I was quite the Casanova. I made sure my teacher was never late for recess. I would check my Casio watch and tell her that it was time for recess, and we needed to be dismissed from her boring math lecture. She called me the Casio Nova, because … Continue reading Bitter Privacy Concerns
Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Besides the fact that I'm so dynamic, handsome and funny, one of the biggest reasons why wife decided to marry me is because I'm so adventurous. For instance, I will venture off the couch and take out the garbage. Sometimes I'll eat a stuff crusted pepperoni instead of a regular crusted pepperoni pizza. It is … Continue reading Bitter Blog Layoffs BFG’s
Ben's Bitter Blog 