The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger

At my last count there were 8 billion, 400 million, 538 thousand, 436 people on earth at this very moment. Oh shoot, we just lost a few. And some crying kids were just born. Dang it! That throws off my count. Don't worry, I'll get the final count by the end of this blog. But … Continue reading The Benefits of Following a Bitter Blogger

Shape Shifting Bitter Friday Giftures

As you probably know, someday this blog will be made into a book. As such, I should be like all the diligent, disciplined and enthusiastic writers working on NaNoWriMo, but as we all know, writing a novel in November is ridiculous. Whoever decided that November is the month we should all be writing the first … Continue reading Shape Shifting Bitter Friday Giftures

Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s

Do you remember that stupid game your teachers made you play when you were a kid, where the teacher tells one kid a secret and then you had to tell the next person the thing they said? At the end, the last person would try to say the thing that the first person said, and … Continue reading Middle Aged Suckery BFG’s

Misery loves Privacy BFG’s

Last week, I said I was taking care of important business, so I just had to give my blog the average amount of attention. That was because I was dropping my daughter off to college. It was important for me to do so, because she is now attending my alma mater. Which according to Wikipedia … Continue reading Misery loves Privacy BFG’s

Bitter Memory Lane

After the Sun's extensively long starring role in the summer production of Summer, it's overacting finally got a co-star of whose performance equaled it strength. Yes gloomy, rainy and cloudy today stepped into the spotlight darkened the earth and skies. The meteorologists were handing out 100's this summer like Biden is handing out 100's to … Continue reading Bitter Memory Lane

Taking over the media

When I was in high school, I was a big fan of not having friends. It was mostly my toxic personality, my metal mouthed Resting Bitter Face, and my massive introversion complex that allowed to skate by without friends for the most part. Unfortunately, one guy tricked me into being his friend by bribing me … Continue reading Taking over the media

With Great Power Outages, Comes Great Irritability

If you've ever seen a Spiderman movie or read any of his comics, congratulations, you are just like everyone else. It's only the most done franchise ever (besides Batman). Just last year, we had three different Spidey's from three different generations in one movie. The Tobey Maguire era for oldies like me, Andrew Garfield for … Continue reading With Great Power Outages, Comes Great Irritability

Defending My Territory

I was just looking at some photos of Scotland this morning. They really took me on a stroll down memory lane. My favorite memory of Scotland? That I wasn't at work, and I wasn't writing a stupid blog post that would get 15 views and 25 likes. Those were some pretty great memories. If only … Continue reading Defending My Territory

Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures

I live in Utah, where it gets pretty hot during the summer (16 days this summer where we hit the triple digits) but it's dry heat, so we don't get near as hot as the humid area people. Luckily, I've figured out a really great way to beat the oppressive heat of the summer and … Continue reading Bitter BrainStorm Friday Giftures

Energy Crisis Bitter Friday Giftures

I bet when you woke up this morning, you had no idea that a bitter blogger could solve all your problems. And yet, here we are. By the end of this post, you will not only have the energy crisis solved, but almost all your problems. I don't know if I will help you solve … Continue reading Energy Crisis Bitter Friday Giftures

Hidden Door Bitterness

I haven't asked for much in life except unlimited wealth, unlimited health and unambiguous adoration from everyone, without having to talk to any of them. And of course, an underground bunker to store all my wealth and to protect me from people. Oh, and a moat, because they would be fun to store sharks, alligators, … Continue reading Hidden Door Bitterness

Today’s Forecast: Bitter Winds

I have a job at a company. They have certain expectations of me. Like for instance, they expect me to be there every weekday. I'm supposed to look like I'm doing things most of the time. And since they pay me, they expect a certain consistent output that makes them money. When I start not … Continue reading Today’s Forecast: Bitter Winds

Reverse Engineering Bitterology Degree

In high school, I had a friend that enjoyed playing basketball as much as I did. Unfortunately, we figured out pretty early that we would not be getting drafted to the NBA (because of the whole not making our high school team, not being 6'8 or being particularly good at it), so we decided that … Continue reading Reverse Engineering Bitterology Degree

Godfather Bitterness

I had big plans for this last weekend. I was going to see Dr. Strange's Multiplex Theater of Madness, and I was going to get some supplies for my upcoming trip to Scotland. In addition, I had a LOT of couch sitting and video gaming planned. Despite my family not knowing any of that, they … Continue reading Godfather Bitterness

MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures

My brother told me a couple of months ago that he was moving into a new house. I half-heartedly told him I would help, without any intentions of doing so. Since I was responsible for making him a huge sucess in the world, (by showing him what not to do) I figured he would find … Continue reading MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures

Denim Bitterness

Last night, I missed the most important event of the season. It wasn't E3, which is something I actually care about, or CLC (you know, my favorite convention to visit every year, the Couch Laying Convention). It was the Met Gala. I've been told by my inside sources that purpose of the Met Gala is … Continue reading Denim Bitterness