You always know the season finales are happening when the world starts spinning as fast as a hurricane, tornado, volcano and the Flash combined. You know when a divorce, marriage, death, and merger all happen to the same person in the same hour. So I completely don’t understand how you could have missed a moment of bitterness or blogs or any kind of blogs combined with bitterness. Well for those fortunate enough to see every finale and miss reading
Here is a cliffhanger for you. Just when you thought you would never see a Ben Gardner Newsletter after the first, you luckily got another one to ignore. You are welcome for giving you yet another reason to be bitter. It is a newsletter full of nontrigue, boringness and all kinds of attention destroyers. Read about it in Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2.
Things were pretty bad for me last week, getting all out of breath. I walked for what seemed like minutes(though it was only seconds). It was a chilling tale, of bitterness, betrayal and danger. The danger of Air that was so fresh, that it almost killed me. Hear more of this harrowing tale in Bitterly Fresh Air.
The finale of the week, at least the work week, was of course the Friday Giftures. Most things get under my skin, but nothing so much as everything. See more gifture examples in Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures.
The Twitter Season Finale is closing for the second, but the second after the we will see Season Premiere. I guess some things have shorter seasons than others. See My Season Finales.
There were really bitter comments:
On Bitter Ben Gardner Newsletter Volume 2:
“You know, come to think of it, I was on that mailing list Scott Adams started in the mid-90s promising to set up the new ruling class when the revolution came. I think I might’ve been in early enough to be assured extra servants. I should probably drop a letter and see how that revolution is coming along; I’ve got stuff to finish that someone else could do easily.” Joseph Nebus
“Will you like my book (if it ever gets published) so I can become rich and famous too?” SJ Powers
“So that’s why Titanic became such a hit! And here I was, thinking it was that scene where the guy jumps off the ship and hits the propeller.” Katie
On Bitterly Fresh Air:
“Since I live in a quiet, suburban area that makes me miss the daily 300-steps-of-subway-doom, I tend to crave the uphill walk around the corner from my house once in a while. Picture still living with your twenty-something son who never LEAVES his room longer than it takes to eat, hastily wash his dishes and use the bathroom. Oh, and occasionally shower… ” LVital7019
“BAHAHAHAAAA the horror! THE HORROR!
I tried to refrain from laughing at their “bad idea”……
To make that sort of exercise equipment worse….. I’ll never forget a show I watched that listed different bacteria found there and how much. Audience gasping. So next time you can add that as to why they should never go again. Health reasons! =P” – Shawna in Wonderland
“Hilarious! You did a great job at capturing attention from that initial clip of the girl jumping on the air mattress–it threw me off 😛
I became tired just reading about your walk. I’m usually an out-doors type of person, but being pregnant has really stifled me in that regard. I’m glad it was you and not me who was forced into the fresh air 😀
I’m sure it was a bittersweet journey! That was a fun read, thanks for chuckle.” Nebulous Blooms
On Bitter Irritating Friday Giftures:
“Trees are annoying. I make as many copies as possible (plus 10 extra every time) so they have to cut more down.” Backuphill
“Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love Fridays because of you Bitter Ben. Thank you for the giggles.. and making my coworkers think I’m even crazier than usual 🙂” Amanda
“That waking up from a nap before you are ready? That’s me every single damn morning.” Victoria Bruce
And now the part you have been waiting for since the beginning. It’s like the last two minutes of the finale, that you really care about. Bonus Giftures:
Now back to your regularly scheduled season finales. By the way, spoiler, that one guy dies. But that is okay. He’s a jerk.
AARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH
I think snarcastic is officially my new favorite word. I’m bitter I didn’t think of it myself.
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I am bummed because I just found out that it is already in the urban dictionary, so I didn’t invent it. So bitter!
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Season finales are actually an evil plot to make us all suffer and be bitter about summer arriving and ending our shows. Because suddenly we find ourselves with nothing to look forward to each night, and are forced to sitting around and stalk the internet for wild theories about the upcoming season in the fall. It’s actually ploy to ruin people’s summers. And it works. Chaos approves.
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I know right. They are always trying to make us want to watch stuff in the fall and make us go outside to forget about them. It causes chaos which is what we want.
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Exactly.
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Lol, stop killing trees! And, you are probably right … Season Finales trump all else. 🙂
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I need the trees to stop littering all over my lawn. Leaves everywhere and they don’t even clean them up themselves.
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Attention Destroyers…didn’t their bass player fall off a boat down in the Bahamas and get eaten by sharks, or something like that?
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Whoops did I just steal a stupid line in my blog from a band, that is probably good?
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I have a defect which causes me to make crap up. But it could be a good band name, eh?
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Both my parents had a recessive bitter gene that they passed on to me to make me super bitter.
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I found this bitterly interesting. Thank you.
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I found the Season Finale of Ben’s Bitter Blog to be quite slow and unoriginal. I barely want to tune in next time.
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You’re obviously very picky (which was the topic of my blog post today, which I am unoriginally and shamelessly promoting). What did the other critics think of the Season Finale of BBB?
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There is nothing I like to do more than to promote shamelessly, which I will stop by and read that. The highly rated audience of 1 and critic me, was highly against it.
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