Banned For Life BFG’s

You probably don't know this about me, but I'm on a wanted poster in my old college town. I broke multiple laws while I was there, and now I'm their public enemy number one. I broke some laws while I was there, but I was never caught for them. The first one was the dangerous … Continue reading Banned For Life BFG’s

MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures

My brother told me a couple of months ago that he was moving into a new house. I half-heartedly told him I would help, without any intentions of doing so. Since I was responsible for making him a huge sucess in the world, (by showing him what not to do) I figured he would find … Continue reading MLM Success Bitter Friday Giftures

Denim Bitterness

Last night, I missed the most important event of the season. It wasn't E3, which is something I actually care about, or CLC (you know, my favorite convention to visit every year, the Couch Laying Convention). It was the Met Gala. I've been told by my inside sources that purpose of the Met Gala is … Continue reading Denim Bitterness

Maintaining the World

I had a really great babysitter when I was young. I have nothing but glowing reviews, literally. I loved my babysitter so much that I will recommend that my kids and grandkids even use my babysitter. If you've ever seen Cable Guy with Jim Carrey or numerous other shows or movies when you were young, … Continue reading Maintaining the World

Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures

I love listening to my headphones at work because it seems dangerously close to not doing work, which is my favorite thing to do. Work avoidance, both at work and at home are really great skills to have. I've always tried my best to be mediocre or less in everything I do. Yesterday, I accidentally … Continue reading Ratio’d Bitter Friday Giftures

Camera BFG’s (Bitter Friday Giftures)

What do you think is more prestigious? Being on the cover of a magazine or being featured on a sweatshirt? This might have been a hard question back in the 80's when I grew up, because back then we had a thing called magazines. It's hard to imagine my kids even understanding the importance of … Continue reading Camera BFG’s (Bitter Friday Giftures)

Batman is DC’s Spiderman Bitterness

A lot of people wonder in awe at how great I am at writing, especially considering that I've never been a big reader. I suppose I could be an adequate reader if Audible just narrated all the books to me. On the other hand, I could just have TV do all the work by narrating … Continue reading Batman is DC’s Spiderman Bitterness

Pharm-assist BFG’s

Believe it or not, I was once a tall, skinny teenager. Yeah. Back in the 80's when I ate peanut butter sandwiches and played sports just for the fun of it. Playing sports was so automatic, I could play tennis when I was watching TV, or hit a baseball with one arm while punching my … Continue reading Pharm-assist BFG’s

Bitter Privacy Concerns

Back in the pre-pandemic days (elementary school), I was quite the Casanova. I made sure my teacher was never late for recess. I would check my Casio watch and tell her that it was time for recess, and we needed to be dismissed from her boring math lecture. She called me the Casio Nova, because … Continue reading Bitter Privacy Concerns

Original Programming BFG’s

I was born in the 70's, but grew up in the 80's. I'm not sure if you could compare the 80's to any other decade ever. It was bizarre fashion (parachute pants, leg warmers, etc), bright colors, outlandish music and some pretty crazy TV's and movies. For every great program that came out of the … Continue reading Original Programming BFG’s

Making Traitor’s BFG’s

While I lived in South Dakota from 3rd grade until high school, my family went through an existential crisis of living in LA and NY. I don't remember much of New York, but I also went through an existential crisis when I lived there. It was called "enjoying baseball". The baseball brainwashing started when I … Continue reading Making Traitor’s BFG’s

Witness Protection Bitterness

When I was a kid, other kids were always asking me to play sports with them. As an early bitterness adopter, I tried my darndest to ignore these little same-aged cretins. But my mother always insisted that I go play with these weirdos, (probably because she wanted me to leave her alone) even though something … Continue reading Witness Protection Bitterness

Only In Dreams BFG’s

I once read something. I know, you're probably shaking your head in disbelief and probably laughing to yourself. You're probably at work, with your headphone on, trying to focus on the task at hand, but a little laugh is swelling inside you. It's probably reminding you of a recent Tik Tok you saw of a … Continue reading Only In Dreams BFG’s

Energy Monster BFG’s

In the beginning, I liked Superhero movies. The whole appeal was imagining what I could do with superpowers. For instance, what would I do with super strength, super speed, or the ability to fly? Of course, if I had them, I wouldn't use them to save people, nor would I use them for evil. That … Continue reading Energy Monster BFG’s

Choose your own adventure BFG’s

Growing up in California, one of my earliest memories was when I was 5. My mom made me and my brother some capes made out of felt and a little buckle to fasten around our necks. I, of course, was Superman, because he could fly and my brother was Batman, because he liked brooding in … Continue reading Choose your own adventure BFG’s

Building A Bitter Fortress BFG

The reason why Community is my second favorite show, is 1: because of the writing, but two because it reminds of me of my juvenile college years (though some would say I'm still in my juvenile years). They are always up to some crazy highjinks, like paintball or playing a video games to earn inheritances. … Continue reading Building A Bitter Fortress BFG