I am a bitter forward thinker. A bitter visionary. While others are thinking about things that make them bitter in the present, I am looking forward to things that will make me bitter in the future. I don’t look at the past and stew over past bitterness or live in the moments bitterness like most people. While I am aware of those things, I want to forge a path to future bitternessess. I want to see what can be. So as future bitterist, I give this bold prediction. Tomorrow will be bitter.
When I got my Doctorate in Bitterology, I studied the past history of holidays. The day after you return from Christmas or New Year’s (depending on when you come back from vacation), is usually one of the most depressing days of the year. How about President’s Day? It is right in the middle of finals, fiscal years and short months, that require you to speedily get your work done. Is there any more miserable Tuesday after a Monday holiday?
I’m no Dr. (actually I am of bitterness) but there is a phenomenon that happens the day after a holiday. Everyone combines all their bitterness from Monday and Tuesday and attacks you with a combo Montuesday Bitter uppercut to the face.
It will be so horrific that I am doing a horror movie called The Tuesday After A Monday Holiday movie and will base it on the actual phenomenon. Beware of tomorrow and when it turns out to be miserable like I told you, don’t forget that it was Dr. Bitter Me that told you so.
Bitterly almost Montuesdaylly yours
Dr. Bitter Ben
- Mailman Bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Bitter Pill Pictures of the Week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Earth Day Bitterness (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)
- Bitter Awareness Week (bensbitterblog.wordpress.com)