“Love me or hate me, both are in my favor…If you love me, I’ll always be in your heart…If you hate me, I’ll always be in your mind.” Shakespear
I think this guy is famous for some play that he was in once so he gets quotes and stuff. I find this quote quite advantageous as long as you replace a few words. Be bitter about me or don’t be bitter about me, that is the question…uh both are in my favor. That has been the great thing about bitterness and blogging. If you hate my blog, I will be bitter about you, your family, your dog and cat, your gerbil(or hamster), each of your elementary schools, middle schools (or junior high), your high school, your junior college, your bachelor’s degree college, your master’s and doctorates(medical or legal) your job and career and also your online profiles(social, dating, or business). Bitterness will come from the core of the earth and bubble up like lava underneath a volcano and erupt, then come sliding down the mountain of bitterness to destroy your homes as you sit quietly playing Monopoly with your family. Metaphorically speaking.
But, on the other hand, to paraphrase what this Shakespear guy says, if you like, comment, or follow my blog then it is like angels are ascending from heaven to bestow the almighty gift of happiness, joy and pure and utter unadulterated glee. Tabernacle choirs will rejoice loudly, light will shine brightly, smiles will widen, pats on the back will be extended, video cameras will descend, cameras will pop and flash, and rage will come from me because, the angels are flying too fast causing too heavy of a gale force wind, the gift of happiness, joy and pure unadulterated glee was non returnable and not even on sale, the choir was way too loud, the light too bright so as to almost cause blindness, the wide smiles will show me too much tooth decay and yellowing, pats on the back will cause too much back pain, video cameras will invade my private breakfast, and the cameras will cause near blindness with their flashing. Metaphorically annoying the heck out of me and causing more bitterness.
The third option of apathy, will bring crickets, hipsters, Tommy Lee Jones, Grumpy Cat and Mckayla Maroney . Crickets make that annoying sound, hipsters claiming that they liked my blog before it was cool and TLG, GC and MM not being impressed. Bitter, Bitter and more bitter.
Nice quote, Shakespear. Maybe do something famous before you try to say some clever thing.
All images courtesy of Google
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