This is my world. You sure you want to switch?

The phrase “welcome to my world” makes me so bitter.  To be fair with the people that do say that, I complain A LOT.  I complain out loud and I grumble to myself.  If I’m not complaining on my blog, I’m complaining on Facebook or to my kids or to my co-workers.  I especially complain in my dreams, because in my dreams someone actually listens to my complaints and feels bad for me.  Except in my nightmares.  That is when people complain to me and I have to listen to them.  Oh wait that happens all the time in real life too.

The point is that when I complain to people, sometimes they complain back.  Some even go as far as telling me when I complain, the most bitter of phrases “Welcome to my world”.   So here I go with my complaint.  That phrase irks me to no end.  Since when does me complaining about my life make me want to be welcome in your world?  Look, I get that some people think their lives are so much harder than mine.  They might think that switching with me would be so great because I have such a successful blog that gets at least zero views a day.  And I have such a great attitude that makes things so much better for myself.  But, let me be clear about something.  I don’t want to switch lives with you or anyone else for that matter.  I have seen way too many 80’s/90’s/2000’s/2010’s movies in my life to know that switching bodies so I can learn a lesson about how my life is so much better than I thought it was, never works.  You always learn some lesson at the end about how you shouldn’t be bitter.  Why would I want that?

Everyone thinks they have a more miserable life than everyone else.  I could tell you a story about how I had the worst day ever and someone would tell me a boring story about how interestingly harder your life is.  Just know that I won’t be listening to you after the first two words.

I love how such a phrase of four short words shows me how condescending you are.  The problem is that I already know how annoying you are.  Because I hear about your problems all day that I don’t want to know about.  So save yourself a four word sentence and maybe I will want to become a part of your world.  You’re right I don’t.  So welcome to my bitter world where everything bothers me.  And you don’t have to hear those words except in my rant here. 

So unless you are a billionaire with a nice pool, and a reliable car with power windows and locks, and you sit around playing video games all day, I don’t want to be welcome in your world. 

Arrrggghhhh!

Bitter Ben